Coronavirus crisis and family crisis: do we need therapy?

You just have to look around to understand that what confinement may have meant for some families, it has not meant for others.

When any of us asked people around us "how are you doing?", We knew that their answers would not have to be the same as our experience, our perception of it situation.

One of the implications of this is that, in some cases, the coronavirus crisis has been able to overlap with the revival of family crises.

• Related article: "Family therapy: types and forms of application"

Good coexistence or exacerbation of family problems?

Without a doubt, the lack of space in the houses, attending to professional tasks while accompanying our children and daughters in class assignments, missing being able to do outdoor activities, seeing other people, fear of contagion... they have put us to the test during this crisis from which we have not yet emerged. Young and old have been able to go through an emotional roller coaster in which emotions such as fear, discouragement or worry have been present at many times.

However, some may say with satisfaction, pride, and why not surprise, that they have handled it well, that they have found quite calm, that they are comfortable in this new normal of teleworking and being with the children in home. And some even that far from being saturated, from being in constant conflict with the inhabitants of the home, can verbalize that they have been strengthened in their family and partner relationships.

Thus, there is a scenario in which fathers and mothers have known how to understand and accompany the emotional regulation of their sons and daughters, where they have participated in the organization of the house, understanding the importance of teamwork, where it has been known to respect the times and needs, family activities have been enjoyed, where we have not been in a rush, distractions, or where we have been able to enjoy the time together... Undoubtedly, in cases like this, the family will have been perceived as a place of safety and comfort, a warm space in which to feel sheltered from the crisis outside.

In this scenario, the family is made up of elements of the same system that rotate in tune, independently but coordinated, that belong, contribute and mean within that system.

However, others, a not inconsiderable number of people, have lived this situation with pain, sadness, and discouragement, anger and even despair, since it has been possible to highlight even more the difficulties for which the family was already going.

Definitely, not being able to be physically in a conflict-free environment, not being able to be distracted by other activities, not being with people with whom you feel connected, not being able to disconnect from family members, has meant have to dispense with external positive reinforcers that served as a lever to alleviate a family coexistence hard.

And if calm, tranquility, support or affection has not been perceived by the people with whom you coexists, confinement has surely been an extremely difficult moment that surely today today has left an emotional mark.

We have forcibly stopped many processes and daily activities that were automatic, and now we are at the moment of recovering, with prudence and security, the new normal. And in it, do we want to incorporate differentiating elements from our previous normality?

Let's think about whether at this stage we are entering we want to focus on our dynamics at home being different from the previous one: that we feel cared for, loved, cared for and respected by the people we live with, that conflict diminishes, that we know how to transmit our needs, that we know how to set limits, that we know how to ask for help, listen... that we build a common space, with differentiated moments and joint moments, where we can feel calm and well-being.

• You may be interested in: "The 8 types of families (and their characteristics)"

Family therapy and the potential behind coexistence crises

The word “crisis” means opportunity, and for families this could be! It may be a good time to understand the benefits of family therapy, so let's look at some of them.

1. An opportunity to have an honest dialogue

Therapy is a space for meeting, communication, being able to speak, learning to listen, where the figure of the therapist accompanies in the decoding of what is said and what is not said.

2. A context in which to express yourself without fear

Enables emotional expression without judging, from listening and respect, since each person experiences the situation in "their own way."

3. Facilitates understanding of the problem

This is done from a 360 degree view that allows optimizing the search for satisfactory solutions for all parties.

4. Points of agreement and construction of common objectives emerge

The individual and collective needs of the family are revealed.

5. Communication and social skills are developed

In family therapy, communication skills that allow the effective and respectful expression of opinions, feelings, expectations, requests...

6. It allows to understand the role that each member of the family is playing

And, from there, design and adjust the most convenient functions, attitudes and behaviors so that family dynamics flow.

7. A type of family identity is created

It is a good place to define the identity of the family, based on which values ​​it is built, and it is promoted that the members are clear about how they can contribute to this.

Conclution

For all these reasons described, for the importance of the family for the human being, and for what in the well-being individual and collective can lead to a better coexistence, we encourage families to start a therapy process family. On TAP Center We offer that facilitating space in which we will accompany each of you. To see our contact information, go to this page.

Author: Patricia Sánchez Merino. Psychologist Gral. Sanitaria M-22663.