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8 types of singleness: what kinds of single people are there?

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Sometimes it is the way in which we relate to others, and not so much our way of thinking, that defines in a more special way who we are and how we act.

We can explain what they are our motivations, our goals and part of our problems and concerns by looking at how our personality is expressed when we are accompanied by more people.

And, on those occasions in which the affective aspect is added to the social aspect, it is much more likely that we approach a deeper and more complex description of our personality (or of the personality of others). So if part of our way of being is expressed through the way we behave when we are in a relationship, the same thing happens in her absence, and more specifically when we are single.

What types of singleness are there?

Next You can see a proposal of how a classification system of the main types of singleness could be.

It is not an exhaustive classification, and therefore the same person may present some characteristics of more than one of these types, but it is a first step that can help explain the traits, propensities and possible problems of the persons.

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1. Independent singles

This kind of singleness is driven by an assessment of the costs and benefits of having a partner.

Singles of this type tend to highly value the option of living their own life without ties and with a lot of time available to them alone, without having to give time and space to another person. In other words, they are wary of commitments that are too strong and intense.

2. Self-sufficient singles

Single people in this category do not even consider the costs and benefits of having a partner, because their lifestyle habits lead to a high degree of isolation and self-sufficiency.

In this mode of singleness, the default state is loneliness, although loneliness that does not have to be perceived as something negative, since it is interpreted as the normal state of things. Therefore, these people are likely to remain single for a long time, primarily because of their habits. lonely and secondly because of their lack of interest in increasing their chances of getting to relate more with others.

3. Isolated singles

Isolated single women show many characteristics that define the self-sufficient, but with the difference that they do perceive their singleness as a problem and therefore they would prefer to break with their isolation dynamics.

However, the very fact of being used to a solitary way of life makes it difficult for them to learn other habits that expose them more to relationships with others, and it is also possible that their lack of habit makes it difficult for them to learn some useful social skills to form and maintain ties.

4. Low self-esteem

These people want to form a relationship as a couple, but they believe that they can no longer because of their habits or their customs, but because they believe that they, by their own way of being, are not worth enough to get to have those opportunities. That is, regardless of what they may learn or how they may change, they believe they will never evolve enough to be attractive.

Of course, there are no objective criteria to determine the value that people have, and therefore these types of thoughts are deeply irrational, but that does not change the fact that they tend to be very persistent and affect many aspects of the quality of life of oneself. Therefore, this mode of singleness is one of the symptoms of a broader problem that, in any case, will most likely be able to be corrected. working on an improvement of self-esteem.

5. Existential singles

Singles belonging to this group are characterized by a certain existential pessimism, which means that they do not believe that dating relationships mean anything by themselves.

Therefore, they see in a cold and dispassionate way the option of having intimate emotional relationships with someone, and although they can sometimes enjoy the relationships of couple, they will be aware that the pleasure they find in those moments is built by them with their own way of taking the relationship, and is not given to them by the other person.

6. Ideological Singles

This type of singleness is less common, and is mainly explained by an ideology that makes the person impose red lines when it comes to meeting people, or systematically rejects potential partners or people who consider attractive. This way of thinking is not so much related to one's own self-esteem as to the way in which reality and the functioning of society are interpreted. For example, people who profess certain religions very intensely can be very picky about the times that falling in love has to mark, or they can prohibit themselves the possibility of having couple.

This mode of singleness can lead to problems when both the ideological pressure and the desire to have a partner are very strong and produce a lot of pressure and anxiety.

7. Transitional Singles

These people believe that their chances of being in a relationship in the short or medium term are relatively high, and therefore they are almost always examining the people around them to actively decide which ones are a better option. Therefore, they interpret single status as a transition from one relationship to another.

8. Singles by learning

Singles by learning are those who flee from the idea of ​​having a partner as a result of bad past experiences.

This category could encompass both people who have developed a more or less elaborate discourse about why a partner does not suit them even those who, because of traumatic memories, feel a strong irrational rejection that is difficult to explain at the idea of ​​being in a relationship of this kind. kind. Sometimes this aversion to finding a romantic partner is called philophobia.

Having a romantic partner should not be an obligation

Our cultural heritage drives us to mate and marry. It is necessary to get rid of this idea and build our life based on personal values ​​and our own criteria. During the last decade, new ways of loving (such as polyamory) have begun to gain prominence.

Of course, it is not necessary to live as a couple in order to be happy. Each individual must find her place in the world, her circle of friends and relationships, freely. Perhaps in this way we can reinterpret the concept of singleness, so often associated with loneliness and isolation.

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