How to improve social skills with a psychologist?

Our social skills are a determining factor in both the pursuit of happiness and our chances of enjoying a good lifestyle. That is why having problems in this aspect can generate a lot of discomfort.

Fortunately, social skills can be enhanced through psychological intervention. Let's see how to do it.

• Related article: "The 8 benefits of going to psychological therapy"

How are social skills improved in the psychologist's office?

Beyond the attention to possible psychopathologies associated with problems when interacting with others (for example, Spectrum Disorders Autistic, borderline personality disorder, etc.), the main pillars of improving social skills in the psychologist's office are the following.

1. Thought Trap Detection

Many of the people who experience problems with their social skills see the moments of interaction with others as a source of discomfort or directly anxiety, especially if they do not know the interlocutor or interlocutor. It is because of that, at the prospect of going to exchange a few words, they may become frightened

and to try to prevent a conversation from taking place.

As a result, they continue to remain in a state of inexperience in speaking to others, and further nurture the idea that they should avoid exposing themselves to social interaction because these are a source of fear that can only be backing out.

In psychotherapy we work so that those who usually go through this kind of experiences are able to identify quickly those trap-thoughts that tempt you to throw in the towel ahead of time and lead to the self-sabotage. In this way, the influence of these is very limited and the person is able to leave their comfort zone.

2. Anxiety management

The anxiety that sometimes arises before and during the first minutes of a conversation (or any other complex communicative exchange) must be managed and channeled appropriately. In therapy, a training plan for emotional management is proposed adapted to each case, and that in cases like these usually be focused on the control of the physiological processes associated with anxiety and on the conscious management of the focus attention for.

• You may be interested in: "What is anxiety: how to recognize it and what to do"

3. Assertiveness practice

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate everything that is necessary or important and to do so honestly despite knowing that certain Information or opinions can be painful, yes, always with respect and taking into account the emotions of the the rest. It is essential to avoid generating communication blocks That can cause bigger problems than the discomfort that might have been caused by saying those things.

4. Coping with intrusive thoughts

Unpleasant experiences related to social relationships accumulated by those who do not do well interacting with others can lead them to tend towards isolation, generate blockages in conversations due to nerves, etc.

This is also because painful memories of past conversations can turn into intrusive thoughts, which come back to consciousness again and again and generate emotions such as guilt, shame, etc.

5. Desensitization to rejection

This aspect is closely related to the previous one, and implies ceasing to fear the possibility of being rejected by others in the extreme.. This allows, on the one hand, to get more involved in social interactions, and on the other, to know exactly which of our acts they don't like, who they don't like, and why, which allows us to learn.

6. Adaptation to the rhythms and attitudes of others

Non-verbal communication is key, and to take advantage of it, we must pay attention to these kinds of signals and adapt to the psychological state of the person in front of us.

7. Enhancement of self-motivation skills

All forms of social skills learning must be followed consistently for a period of time so that we internalize and apply them on a day-to-day basis. For this reason, work is also done on enhancing self-motivation to follow the program.

Are you looking for psychotherapy services to better relate to others?

If you notice that in your day-to-day life, you count on relating to others, either because you feel bad during those interactions or Because you are not satisfied with the results you get, we invite you to get in touch with our team of professionals. On Advance Psychologists We have been helping all kinds of people for more than two decades and accumulating experience in the field of psychotherapy applied to cases of bad management of emotions, lack of social or communication skills, etc. We offer sessions both face-to-face at our center located in Madrid, and online via video call.

Bibliographic references:

• Beck, J.S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond. New York: The Guilford Press.
• Horse, V. (1983). Training manual and evaluation of social skills. Madrid: XXI century.
• Raymond, G.; Romanczyk, S.W.; Gillis, J.M. (2005): Social Skills Versus Skilled Social Behavior: A Problematic Distinction in Autism Spectrum Disorders. Journal of Early and Intensive Behavior Intervention 2 (3), pp. 177 - 194.
• Stein, MD, Murray B.; Gorman, MD, Jack M. (2001). Unmasking social anxiety disorder. Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience. 3. 26 (3): 185 - 189.