Is singleness linked to a low mood?

It is no secret that institutions such as marriage and the family have historically been of great importance. Beyond being part of mere traditions in the folk sense of the word, its existence has been part of the nucleus of social, political and economic organization of many societies human.

For this reason, concepts such as “getting married” or “being single” influence our way of understanding life and what our future plans should be; We cannot stay out of them even if we want to. Thus, to the social implications we must add the psychological implications of perceiving oneself (and others) as single or not single.

And in fact, there are many myths and preconceptions about not having a stable partnerprecisely because we attach great importance to this phenomenon.

Here we will delve into the subject of the extent to which singleness goes hand in hand with a low mood, and the way in which what happens around us influences our perception of single people.

• Related article: "The 6 types of mood disorders"

Singleness and emotional balance

As I have advanced, it is very common to perceive the idea of ​​singleness through a set of preconceptions and stereotypes that distort and "contaminate" the reality behind them. First, gender roles are an element that for decades have been skewing our vision of what it means to be a single man or a single woman.

In the first case, a legitimate option as long as it is accompanied by a life project based on effort and that makes this way of life inevitable; in the second case, an aspect that makes a woman desirable in her younger stage, or a stigma linked to failure if the single woman passes a certain age.

In any case, it has long been assumed that the "default" option for most men and for all women goes through the courtship first and then through the marriage, which has favored the emergence of a negative view about singleness.

These cultural inertias lead many people to think, even today, that only those who cannot be otherwise are single. The absence of a partner would be the result of an inability to please or to lead a lifestyle disciplined and virtuous enough to live together with someone and keep him by her side in the medium and long term.

And hence, today it is not strange to think that if someone remains single for many years or past their youth, "something is wrong" in her life. That he is a sad person, or with a low mood caused by his apparently unsuccessful life project.

But, beyond these social clichés and stigmas... To what extent is it true that singleness is linked to a low mood and a poor emotional balance in general?

• You may be interested in: "8 Types of Singleness: What Kinds of Single People Are There?"

Single is not the same as feeling lonely

The first great myth to disprove is the belief that whoever remains single remains in a state of unwanted or unwanted loneliness. Today we know that single people are perfectly capable of being happy even if they do not aspire to marry or have a long-term partner.

The human mind is very flexible in every way, and this also happens because of our ability to be happy with our lives through different ways of living life. There is no innate or genetic limitation that prevents us from being okay with ourselves if we do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.

• Related article: "How to face the loneliness not chosen? 6 practical tips "

Sources of discomfort linked to singleness and life as a couple

Now, it is true that if we broaden the focus and adopt a probabilistic point of view, singleness becomes associates more with certain factors of emotional imbalance than the way of life in courtship or marriage... and vice versa.

That is among single people there are certain psychological problems that are relatively more frequent or they are more capable of causing harm under certain circumstances, while not being single is closer to other sources of discomfort or unhappiness. These are only statistical trends, so that does not imply that being single or in a relationship implies suffering one of those problems.

Currently, it has been observed that there are small links between singleness and the following experiences (it should be emphasized, associations in a relative way):

• Self-esteem problems related to physical and social skills
• Disorganization and poor time management
• Feelings of loneliness
• Sleeping problems

Secondly, life as a couple tends to another class of elements of psychological discomfort; especially stress problems and, in some cases, self-esteem caused by one's own socio-economic status.

In addition, although the level of happiness declared by those who are in a satisfactory relationship is somewhat higher, on average, than that of the single people, the level of happiness of single men and women is higher than that of those who are in a relationship that does not work at all satisfactory. Do not forget that getting involved in a romantic relationship has significant costs: less time for yourself, the need to constantly coordinate activities, adjust to the needs of the other person when living together, etc.

However, it should be noted that These differences, even starting from a general perspective and statistics, are not very large, and it is possible that with the passage of time and social and technological transformations they will change.

• You may be interested in: "What is social psychology?"

The way of experiencing singleness is linked to the social context

Another example of the extent to which there is no psychological state associated with "the essence" of what it means to be single, the fact that in A matter of a few weeks, the experience of having or not having a partner can change completely depending on what happens around us, we have it in the coronavirus crisis.

We know that the pandemic has led to the appearance of cases of depression and anxiety, and that it has primed especially with people who have been forced to remain isolated at home to alone. This type of social isolation not only has a greater capacity to psychologically drain single people; what's more, not having direct support in case of living alone, can predispose to the appearance of disturbed sleep patterns, substance use, etc.

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