How to deal with an unwanted pregnancy: 5 psychological keys

Many women see getting pregnant as a godsend, especially if they have been trying to stay in for years. state, however, sometimes this event is accidental and experienced in a highly stressful way, full of uncertainty and fears.

Coping with an unwanted pregnancy is a delicate matter, in which the potential mother's mental health must be taken into account, what resources she has to deal with it and whether she has support in the decision that she has decided to make.

Whatever she decides, which is what matters after all, then we address this delicate matter with some recommendations to help every woman who is in this difficult situation.

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How to cope with an unwanted pregnancy: 5 tips

It is usual that, when talking about unwanted pregnancies, the prototypical image of a teenage girl immediately comes to mind who has become pregnant or from a woman who has been raped, has survived but now has a clearly not child desired.

It is true that these cases exist, but it can be said that unwanted pregnancies are something more common than it seems, happening to couples who have been dating for many years, marriages or between two people who simply did not take the precautions one day necessary.

Emotionally managing an unwanted pregnancy is quite complex. When this event happens, both the pregnant woman and her partner (if she has one) face a situation full of dilemmas, uncertainty and fear. At any age and in any type of relationship, an unwanted pregnancy can occur and, if this is your delicate case, you may be interested in reading on. Be that as it may, if your partner has threatened to leave you for the option you are going to make or has already done so, bear very much in mind that this person did not deserve to be in your life, regardless of whether she is pregnant or no.

No woman wants to find herself in the difficult situation of having to decide whether or not to move on. Although in most developed countries the termination of pregnancy is legal, as long as certain requirements are met and not too many weeks have passed since fertilization, from the emotional, moral, psychological and relational point of view it is a before and a after.

The decision to continue or terminate the pregnancy is a very personal experience and there is no one answer that is valid for everyone. In fact, the same answer may not be valid at different times in the person's life, since the financial status, people who support her, and her knowledge of parenting vary throughout her life. life.

In any case, below we will see a series of tips and recommendations so that everyone who finds himself in this situation has a small guide or guidelines from which to orient himself.

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1. Identify emotions and attitudes about pregnancy

First of all, we must understand what is the difference between unwanted pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy. The first can be understood as not considering the possibility of having a child at all, while the second It is not that the idea of ​​having children is rejected, but it is not considered that this is the most ideal time to have a child.

Having understood this, the pregnant woman you must ask yourself if the problem is really that you do not want to have children at all or if you want to have them, but do not consider that the time has come yet. An attempt should be made to identify the feelings associated with the unwanted pregnancy and for this we can ask ourselves a few useful questions that the father can also ask:

• Am I angry or angry about the pregnancy?
• I am scared? Do I feel guilty?
• Is my rejection total or partial?
• How does my partner's attitude influence how I feel about pregnancy?
• What reasons do I have for not wanting this pregnancy?

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2. Tell the partner

Many consider that the most appropriate thing in this situation is for the woman to communicate it to her partner, since this person has the right to know. It should be said that this recommendation is somewhat debatable, since it will depend on many factors such as, for example, the sentimental situation between the two.

Nevertheless, If the couple is based on trust, respect and fidelity, the most appropriate thing is that you communicate it to your partner, since the worst that can happen is that you live this thing that is happening to you alone, even though it is the responsibility of both.

In case you do not have your partner to tell him or you do not consider that he is a person who is going to support you or try to manipulate you to make one or another decision, consider talking about it with another person confidence.

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3. Your opinion is what matters

Unintended pregnancies are a subject that raises many points of view, especially the question of whether to continue it or not. There are multiple visions that our religion, friends, family and partner may have, often in conflict with each other. Nevertheless, the most important opinion is not yours, but that of the pregnant woman herself. It is your opinion that matters.

The only thing that matters is what you think and feel. Obviously, it is important to take into account what your partner thinks and feels, since this is a decision that involves both of you, but you are the one who has the last word. It is your body, your life and your decision. Only you are the one who knows what is best for you because you are the person who knows you best.

If you are afraid of the opinions that may be in your close circle, keep in mind that you cannot please everyone. In fact, that is impossible not only in this matter but in any other, so do what suits you best.

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4. Identify the pressures and isolate your decision from their opinion

As we have commented in the previous point, several people in our circle of close friends may have a different opinion regarding unwanted pregnancies. Each of your positions can become a form of significant pressure that can lead us to make the wrong decision., which we will regret for life.

For this reason, the best we can do is understand that the answer to how to face an unwanted pregnancy it can only come from the people who are directly involved, which are the pregnant woman and her partner sexual. It is the parents who must take control of the situation and try to assess all the factors independently of each other. what the others think, since after all they are the ones who will later have to live with what they have decided.

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5. Find out and speak with a specialist

Finally, it is very important to be adequately informed about an unwanted pregnancy, documenting the next steps to take and doing so through reliable sources. It is highly advisable, especially in case you decide not to continue with the pregnancy, consult with a specialist, comment on the specific case and tell you what methods are available to interrupt the process.

Going to a specialist is a very useful option, especially when there is disorientation and confusion regarding what is the legislation of the country in which we are located regarding the issue of interruption of the pregnancy. It is not advisable to consult a friend or the Internet on these questions, unless we know that they have reliable and truly useful knowledge for this matter.

There are cases of mothers and fathers who supposedly want to move on but actually want to interrupt the pregnancy by sabotaging the pregnancy by not applying the necessary care. This alternative can bring very dangerous consequences and, therefore, it is preferable to have an abortion directly, no matter how bad it is.

If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, we recommend that you investigate the care that the pregnancy requires to make it safe. It is advisable to learn about the physical and psychological changes that motherhood or fatherhood brings with it and about the development of the fetus and the baby in the first stages of their life.

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Psychological therapy and unwanted pregnancies

As we said, facing a pregnancy of this type is a complicated task and, whatever the decision is made, it is important that you learn to manage the emotions associated with the process. This is especially important if the pregnancy continues with both the mother's and the baby's health in mind.

Make the decision not to continue with the pregnancy, even if it has not really been desired, in most cases it usually leaves a deep mark on the mental health of women that requires some type of psychotherapeutic intervention. Through psychotherapy, the woman will be able to overcome this critical period of her life without her evolving psychopathology, fear of being a mother in the future or suffering from any other type of mental condition that puts her psychological well-being in doubt.

In case of making the decision to continue with the pregnancy even if there has not been adequate planning prior, it is important that the woman also go to psychotherapy both before and after the delivery. Thanks to therapy, the future mother will go through a process in which she accepts her new reality, getting excited about what is to come and awakening her maternal instinct within her.

And above all, it is essential that throughout the pregnancy the woman is as stable as possible, not only physically but also psychologically, since this will affect the health of the baby and its formation. The better the expectant mother is cared for, the less likely she is to develop postpartum depression.