Top 14 Negotiation Skills

We go through a market and see an object that we want to acquire. We meet with the boss with the attention that he grants us vacations on the days we want or to raise our salary. We put a limit on the time our children can go home. In all these situations we have specific objectives, which may or may not coincide with that of the other party involved. If not, we will need to negotiate with her.

But negotiating is not so easy, it requires a series of negotiation skills that allow us to obtain a satisfactory result. In this article we are going to see some of the main skills required for this.

• Related article: "Persuasion: definition and elements of the art of convincing"

What is negotiating?

The term negotiate refers to the interaction carried out between two or more parties regarding a specific topic or aspect in which different positions are maintained, pretending with that interaction reach an agreeable agreement for the different parties.

Although generally when we hear the word negotiate

the first thing that comes to mind is the business world And in trade agreements, the ability to negotiate is a key element in all areas of life. Obviously this includes business, but we also find it in the academic field or even on an interpersonal level. Strategies such as mediation, for example, are based on the idea of ​​negotiating and finding a point that the people or entities involved in a conflict can accept.

We may not realize it, but we are continually negotiating with others.

• You may be interested: "10 tips that will help you close a negotiation favorably"

Main skills needed to be a good negotiator

Negotiating is something that we do constantly in our daily life, but in order to be able to do it successfully in a way that results in something satisfactory for both us and the other party it is necessary or at least advisable to have a good level in different skills of negotiation. These are skills that we all have to a greater or lesser extent and that they can be trained in different ways. Some of the most relevant are listed below.

1. Self-knowledge

One of the most important negotiation skills is self-knowledge. Although it may seem strange to be self-centered, we will be better negotiators the more we know ourselves. And it is that self-knowledge allows us to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, so that we can correct them or take into account what elements we can take advantage of and optimize in order to achieve a good interaction with the other party.

2. Self-management

Knowing yourself is an essential element, yes, but it has very little use if it is not accompanied by the ability to self-manage and modify those problematic aspects when interacting with the other person. It is about being able to maintain a minimum of self control, although without having a rigid and false behavior.

3. Empathy

To negotiate successfully we need to know ourselves. But it is also essential to be able to put ourselves in the place of the other, identify your needs and feelings, what you intend with the interaction and your perspective of the situation. In this way we can understand what the other party expresses and value it from their point of view, as well as what is not known. says (something that must also be taken into account and that in fact sometimes has more importance than directly voiced).

It is one of the most basic negotiation skills, which allows us to understand the other party and stimulate agreements that benefit both.

• You may be interested: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in someone else's shoes"

4. Active listening

In a negotiation we are having an interaction with the other person in which both one and the other have something to say. Although we must show and express our position, we must also take that of the other party into account and pay attention to both what they tell us verbally and what they do. non-verbally, or even to what it does not express or elements that it avoids.

• Related article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

5. Assertiveness

A fundamental skill to be able to negotiate successfully and that the result is profitable is the assertiveness. It's about the ability to be clear and defend your own opinions, positions and desires without being aggressive, without trampling the opinion of the other and respecting their interests.

This is the most favorable style for a valid and profitable negotiation for both parties. Showing only submission would cause our demands and interests to be undervalued, while aggressiveness (despite the fact that in the world of business is sometimes used successfully) could generate reactance or even that although at the beginning the objectives are achieved, in the long run the relationship remains damaged. Assertiveness ensures a respectful relationship and sincere while defending the vision of the negotiator.

6. Argumentative and persuasive ability

Our objectives when negotiating may be many, but it will be difficult to achieve them if we do not know how to defend them. Be able to argue clearly benefits and disadvantages of our position and make them see the other, and even convince him of the need and change his point of view towards ours or another that is more similar, is basic.

In persuasion you can also use numerous techniques, which can serve to approximate postures and even that the other party ends up seeing the virtues of our point of view. However, persuading does not necessarily imply manipulating or dominating the other, the latter options being unethical and unbalancing the relationship.

7. I respect

Although we discuss it as one of the negotiation skills, in reality respect is an element that should be basic and predominant in any human interaction. We have to assess and validate that other people may not want to negotiate, not be interested in our point of view or even hold positions that are directly opposite to their own. That doesn't make them better or worse. In addition, it allows to maintain in most cases a positive climate that basically facilitates positive interactions.

8. Openness and authenticity

Although many people resort to multiple tricks and tricks when negotiating, one of the elements that actually works best is to be authentic, expressing what we want with conviction and always respecting the position of the others. Being sincere will help the other party to know exactly what is expected of him, as well as it also produces a cleaner and simpler relationship that will generally be better lived by both parts.

9. Patience

Negotiating can be stressful and have a highly variable level of complexity. Sometimes offers, threats or attempts will be made on the part of the other person to obtain an advantage without more than, if they are accepted without more motivated by impulsiveness, they may not be profitable. It is because of that patience is one of the most interesting negotiation skills, by allowing us to observe details and find a balance between what one wants or the other. Of course, do not confuse patience with immobility. Staying stuck can lead to loss of interest in the interaction.

10. Concretion

Leaving things in the air makes it very difficult understand exactly what agreement is being reached. It is better to be specific and clearly indicate what you are trying to achieve. Obviously we are in a negotiation and the terms will end up being agreed, but establishing fuzzy limits makes complicated negotiation and allows the other party to keep the option that generates the least benefit for us.

11. Confidence

It will be difficult to bring a negotiation to fruition if we doubt our chances of achieving it. It's not about being arrogant, if not to recognize and value positively our virtues and probability of success. Lack of trust will create difficulties in achieving goals and can lead to toxic and / or dominance / submission relationships. Now, like the rest of the negotiation skills discussed, it can be exercised.

12. Flexibility

A fundamental aspect when carrying out any negotiation is flexibility. And it is that if we want to negotiate, and not submit or impose our criteria, it will be necessary for us to conceive and accept the idea that both parties must find a beneficial agreement. For it we're going to have to give in on some things, as well as the other party. Likewise, it must be borne in mind that there are other positions as valid as one's own, as well as the possibility of modifying one's position or adding aspects or elements from others.

13. Risk tolerance

Negotiating implies that a position is being sought in which both parties can reach a consensus. This also implies that we are taking a certain risk that our objective will not be met or that we will act in a way that is not what we would normally take. We have to be able to take the risk.

14. Adaptability

Linked to the previous point, when negotiating it is very necessary to have the ability to adapt. We must be aware that times change and we are in a very fluid and dynamic society, in which the interests and conditions stipulated by the medium may vary very quickly.