Time heals all? Science responds

Everyone, at some point in our lives, suffers a great disappointment or a immense sadness, of those that drag for a long time, that never seems to end.

The popular saying goes that time heals everything. In this article We will reflect on what is true in this sentence that circulates by word of mouth when someone is going through a bad time.

While it is true that time helps us to see things differently and we can grow as people, It is also necessary to do our part to overcome the adverse situations that arise in the day to day day.

Time helps, but is it everything when it comes to letting go of bad times?

People are flesh and blood but we have feelings, and Throughout our lives we experience traumatic events that mark us and that, in some cases, allow us to grow. But growing up is a process that we must work on ourselves. We must learn from the experiences that happen to us.

While time can be a great ally, there is more than just letting days, weeks and months go by. The key is us and how we take advantage of those difficult experiences to make a leap as people.

What does science say about the healing power of time?

The phrase “time heals everything” is tremendously popular, which is why a group of scientists asked the question: “To what extent is this assumption true? In a study, conducted by Arizona State University and published in the journal Perspectives On Psychological Science, the researchers confirmed that time doesn't really heal all wounds. Sometimes the passage of time does not minimize the pain we feel or the sadness we experience.

And it is that talking about time as the only variable that is related to emotional healing is incorrect. The myth that time heals all is debunked after this research, and "things will get better soon" may sound like good advice in theory, but not in practice. Believing that time will heal everything can lead a person to passively wait for the best by art of magic and, in reality, time only makes sense if an individual acts actively to regain their wellness.

To assume that time heals everything is to leave your future and your happiness to chance or luck, and as any expert in personal development would say, happiness depends on oneself (at least in large part). Saying that time heals everything is dangerous because it makes you not be a critical person, nor that you need to improve the aspects of your life that need improvement. It is waiting sitting down, it is waiting for the improvement to happen by itself. In short, it is to make pain and suffering last. Authentic healing requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and a lot of work.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection”

What does science say about the pain of love?

Love is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it can also cause great suffering. When someone is going through a stage of heartbreak, it is common for them to think that with time they will improve.

Over time it is possible to be well, but that does not mean that time is the reason for recovery. In fact, if we don't do anything to improve ourselves, we may live thinking about our loved one for a long time, sometimes longer than expected. Having a broken heart (in reference to heartbreak) causes many problems for people's physical health. For example, heart problems, as shown by studies from the University of Aberdeen or the British Heart Foundation-funded, which investigated 52 patients, aged 28 to 87, for four months.

This study showed that people whose souls have been broken suffer from a condition called "broken heart syndrome”, Which modifies the structure of the left ventricle located in the vital organ. Despite overcoming the heartbreak, the physical symptoms persist for the rest of life.

Tips to overcome emotional pain

Human beings experience emotions and not all of them are positive. In some moments of our lives, we can have a hard time. But getting through tough times can help us grow and be better people.

In the following lines we present some tips that can help you overcome emotional pain and regain mental well-being.

1. Acknowledge emotional pain and be aware

The first step in overcoming emotional pain has to do with being aware of it. If we are not aware, we can hardly remedy it. This may seem simple, but the society in which we live makes us believe that having a bad time is weak. Nothing could be further from reality, because experiencing pain can help us overcome it.

2. Treat yourself with compassion

People tend to be hard on ourselves when we're having a hard time. But the best alternative in these cases is to treat us with affection and accept that people suffer.

3. Take your time, but live in the present

Time, as we have mentioned, is not everything when it comes to overcoming the bad moments that life has. However, we must let it happen, because if we seek our personal development and acquire coping tools, over time we will feel better. Letting time go by is fine, but it is necessary to live in the present moment.

4. Empower yourself

When you are having a hard time, you may think that bad things only happen to you or you may believe that you are worth nothing. These thoughts will only invite you to enter a negative spiral from which it will be difficult to get out. Find realistic goals and activities that you like. In short, find the meaning of your life and empower yourself in the face of life.

• If you want to know more tips, you can read our article: "The 10 keys to coping with emotional pain”