The 3 differences between selective mutism and shyness

There are children who are more sociable and others who are more shy. As happens in adulthood, boys and girls have very varied personality traits, and this is noticeable when you see how they behave in school.

Shyness is not a problem, but selective mutism is, a disorder that sometimes goes unnoticed and thinks that it is simply that the child is a bit introverted, that he or she is going through a phase and is already it will happen. But rarely does the disorder go away on its own.

We can find several differences between selective mutism and shyness, which we will explore further below along with a review of what this anxiety disorder is.

• Related article: "Anxiety Disorders in Childhood: Symptoms and Treatments"

Keys to distinguish between selective mutism and shyness

As in adulthood, in childhood we can find individual differences in terms of personality. There are boys and girls who are more open, outgoing, who like to talk with other children and, also, with adults.

But we also find boys and girls who are just the opposite, who barely articulate a word of how shy and reserved they are and prefer to play alone or in the company of children with whom they have confidence. As long as it's normal, introverted kids aren't something to worry about.

However, there are situations in which something should be done. Some children have serious difficulties communicating or relating to others that are a real problem because they cannot lead a normal life nor fully develop. If these difficulties are very great, that is when we should consider the possibility that there is a problem, a possible childhood disorder.

Many children are withdrawn when faced with an unfamiliar situation, in an unfamiliar environment, or with a new adult. Some of them may even try to hide behind their parents and remain quiet, despite knowing how to speak.

This behavior may mean that the child is simply a little shy, but it can also be the A symptom of selective mutism, a child and adolescent condition that must be adequately addressed.

• You may be interested in: "The 7 types of anxiety (characteristics, causes and symptoms)"

What do we understand by normal shyness?

Before going into detail about the differences between selective mutism and shyness, it is necessary to define both concepts, making it clear that shyness is not psychopathology.

This is a personality trait, typical of introverts, that is manifested by a tendency to be withdrawn in social situations with people with whom you do not have much confidence. Shy people often try to avoid interaction with strangers and are not the ones who usually take the initiative in conversations, especially when faced with someone new.

However, this changes somewhat when they are in an environment that is familiar to them, with people they already know and with whom they feel comfortable talking. Shyness is more evident and noticeable during the first interactions, and tends to decrease as the person gains confidence in a concrete situation. Introversion is part of your personality, but being confident in something you already know allows you to be more open.

Introverted traits can be identified early in babies. Some newborns are more open to exploring the environment, while others are more self-conscious about the unknown. Early experiences modulate this temperamental disposition, making introverted traits heightened or, conversely, softening them.

Although it is true that extraversion is culturally preferred over introversion, shyness and other introverted traits should not be thought of as pathological. Shyness is not a mental problem, although it is true that depending on the social context and area of ​​the person's life, showing shyness can bring about certain difficulties, preventing it from fully developing its potential.

• Related article: "Extreme shyness: what it is, causes, and how to overcome it"

What is selective mutism?

Selective mutism is a psychological disorder, specifically belonging to anxiety disorders. It is typical of childhood and adolescence, although some extremely rare cases also occur in adulthood.

Already in childhood, it is considered a not very prevalent condition, estimating that between 0.9% and 2.2% of minors suffer from it. But, despite being very rare, its consequences in the life of the affected person are in the form of serious limitations in their day-to-day life.

The diagnostic criteria for selective mutism in the DSM-5 are as follows:

• Difficulties and inhibition when speaking in specific social situations, despite doing so in other circumstances. For example, being able to speak at home, but not at school.
• Interference is observed in the educational, labor or social environment.
• The minimum duration of the problem has to be at least 1 month.
• This alteration is not attributed to ignorance or discomfort of the language.
• It is not explained by the presence of another type of fluency disorder, part of an autism spectrum disorder, psychotic or schizophrenia.

The main problem with selective mutism is the inability to speak in social situations where you are expected to interact in one way or another. The child remains silent, not very expressive, and looks down in the presence of certain individuals or when he is immersed in an unknown social situation. On the contrary, in other situations where he feels safe, he can function normally. In this way it can happen that a child does not speak the least at school but at home.

Typically, the situations that trigger selective mutism are those that are perceived as threatening. That is, the child remains mute in situations where he fears being judged, evaluated and criticized, feeling a very high degree of anxiety while he goes through the unfavorable social situation and that makes him not speak a word some.

There are several factors that have been attributed to causing selective mutism. Let's see what they are.

1. Personal

We found a history of anxiety, shyness and / or social phobia in the family. It also influences the temperament of the child. As well as the level of social inhibition, shyness and dependence on him. Additionally, the influence of traumatic situations in the first years of age has been found.

2. Parenting style

The family is the model of reference when it comes to communication and interaction with others. It has been seen that there is a higher prevalence of selective mutism in families whose parents exhibit overprotective and controlling behaviors.

3. Genetics

A child is more likely to have selective mutism if there is a history of anxiety disorders in your family.

4. Contextual

The child is excessively self-conscious in situations where he does not feel comfortable at all or suffers a lot of stress, either because the situation is very new or because you do not have a positive relationship with others persons.

5. Idiom

It has been seen that some cases of selective mutism are the product of bilingualism. That is, the child may find the new language difficult, which causes him a lot of anxiety and, far from practicing it, he prefers to keep quiet.

What are the differences between shyness and selective mutism?

Based on how we have described them, we can see that shyness and selective mutism share insecurity. of the individual when being in a situation that he does not know, and that awakens a certain degree of discomfort and afraid. However, we can identify important differences between them.

1. Degree of speech inhibition

A shy person tends to remain silent in social situations that are unfamiliar to them, but is still able to speak if necessary.

On the other hand, those with selective mutism find that if they speak they are totally inhibited, they cannot express themselves at all.

• You may be interested in: "The 28 types of communication and their characteristics"

2. Stability over time

Shyness is typical of the first interactions with unfamiliar people and environments, but it tends to decrease as the person gains confidence.

Instead, selective mutism is the product of high discomfort and anxiety in certain situations, problems which are not smoothed over time and the inability to speak in those certain situations does not fade.

• Related article: "What is Personality according to Psychology?"

3. Anxiety level

The level of anxiety experienced by people with selective mutism is much higher than in the case of shyness, in addition to not involving the same type of consequences or degree of severity. Children, adolescents and adults with selective mutism may have poor school, work, social and personal performance, notoriously affecting their quality of life and their esteem.

The importance of its early detection and treatment

Shyness, as it is a character trait, tends to remain stable throughout the life of the subject, but not in the face of the same situations. That is, shy people tend to be shy forever, but this shyness is expressed with greater intensity during the first interactions or within a new social situation.

As these people become more familiar with such contexts, they will be more open and sociable.. As we get older we become a little more extroverted, even though we are still shy people.

But this is not what happens to selective mutism. If not detected early and treated, the disorder will pose a significant limitation in the life of the patient. As we said, it is an anxiety disorder that brings with it the total inability to speak in certain situations, which makes personal development and growth impossible. Thus, selective mutism requires a deep, specialized and comprehensive therapeutic approach.

Although it is true that there are cases, it is unlikely that a child will overcome selective mutism spontaneously and, if they do, it would occur after years and years of great emotional suffering. For this reason, whether we are parents, siblings or teachers of a possible child of selective mutism, we must not underestimate the impact of the disorder or downplay it.

It is best to consult a professional, who will diagnose the disorder, if any, and establish a specific individualized treatment to prevent the disorder from becoming chronic.