6 keys to overcome a betrayal

Betrayal is one of those circumstances that we can suffer in silence for a while, and that can hurt the heart of the betrayed person. Whether on the part of the partner, a friend, family members or a co-worker, this situation arouses very intense and painful emotions.

And it is that the loss of trust that occurs with the "traitor" makes reconciliation with that person very difficult. In fact, in many cases, after the betrayal there is a grieving process in which it is time to accept the situation. A complicated grieving process, because the circumstances are not ideal to heal the wounds.

In time, however, you can rebuild your life and move on. You can even forgive the other person.

• You may be interested: "51 phrases about friendship that you should read"

How to get over a betrayal

Overcoming a betrayal is not easy, and if the person matters a lot to us, it can affect different areas of our life. Now, these delicate and painful situations can sink us for a while, but they can also provide valuable experiences and lessons of incalculable value by and for the life.

But, What to do when they betray us? How to overcome this delicate moment? In the following lines we give you some keys to do it.

1. Analyze the circumstances in which the betrayal occurred

After a betrayal, and as in any grieving situation, the first stage that the person experiences is that of shock. Betrayal is such a painful situation that some people experience a knot in the stomach and terrible disappointment and sadness. In this situations it is important to talk to someone close, because channeling these types of emotions may not be easy. Talking to other individuals can also allow you to see things from another perspective.

It is also important that you analyze the context and the reason why the betrayal occurred. For example, if we talk about a couple infidelity, you may not take into account the needs of the other person. It is good to do self-criticism once the denial phase passes.

2. Don't be hard on yourself

It is frequent that, in these situations, anger appears and also sadness. Sadness is usually experienced when a person begins to recognize the scope of the situation. Despite the pain and the feeling of betrayal, it is also common to remember good things about the relationship and what one misses. If you feel betrayed it is because the other person was important to you.

The truth is that during times of sadness you need to release those emotions, and, in fact, this can happen at the same time that you feel anger. Emotional instability is common in these delicate moments. What you need to do is treat yourself with compassion, and if you have to cry, do it! The important thing is that you don't be hard on yourself.

• Related article: "Compassion: a basic tool in our relationships”

3. Don't hold a grudge

While we should treat ourselves with affection, we should also not hold a grudge toward other people. When we feel anger, we experience a need to vent, especially against the person who hurt us. We want revenge.

However, this is not a good way to channel emotions, and what we can achieve with this action also hurts us. The best alternative is actually not holding a grudge.

• Related article: "Resentful people: 10 traits and attitudes that characterize them”

4. Accept the situation

Acceptance is one of the best decisions we can make to regain wellness and mental health. Because as I said in the previous point, recreate ourselves in frustration or anger the only thing that is going to promote is that we are the ones who suffer the most. Accepting something like this is not always easy, but in the article “Self-acceptance: 5 psychological tips to achieve it”You can find useful information to achieve it.

5. Take your time

Acceptance can take time because you have to go through a series of stages and it takes time to reflect on what happened. Now, as we explained in the article “Time heals all? Science responds”. The time is good to see things from another perspective, but to heal emotional wounds we must also do our part.

6. Be sincere

It is important that, throughout the process, you are honest with yourself and with the other person. Connect with yourself and not avoid reality it is one of the best ways to deal with problems. On the other hand, if, for example, you want to overcome an infidelity, sincerity is the best way to do it. In this sense, you can learn more in the article "Overcoming an infidelity: the 5 keys to achieve it”.

7. Sorry!

Forgiving that person who has betrayed you does not mean that you have to accept him again in your life or that you agree with his behavior, but that it's an act of maturity, in which the situation has been accepted and the person is freed from feeling resentment. In fact, forgiveness has many benefits. In the article "Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the one who hurt me?" you can check.

What are the ideal situations to forgive? We should forgive a betrayal in the following circumstances.

• The person acknowledges the person the harm that she has caused and is trying to change the behavior.
• The individual clearly asks for forgiveness and it gives proof that it does not intend to do so again.
• Their performance was the result of anger or disappointment, and the person regretted acting this way.
• He has learned from that behavior and is unlikely to do so again.
• It is an isolated behavior, relatively unimportant.