Attachment problems and their repair through EMDR therapy

Many of the things that we experience during childhood influence our development and adoption of behavior patterns as we reach adulthood.

Some of these influences are positive and allow us to establish a way of understanding the world that connects with our most consolidated interests and concerns since the first years out, while others are dysfunctional in nature, a sign that there are certain emotionally painful experiences that we have not been able to fully overcome.

Therefore, in this article we will see how to work from EMDR therapy in the face of attachment problems, a type of psychological maladjustment that has its origin in the key affective relationships that we establish during the first years of life.

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What is attachment?

In psychology, the concept of attachment refers to the emotional connections we make with people important to us and that we associate with a feeling of protection and support (or, at the very least, an expectation of safety and support).

Attachment is of special interest because it allows us to know the way in which the affective bonds that we establish during the first years of our physical development and psychological (normally directed towards our parents, guardians or caregivers in general) influences the way in which we learn to relate to the environment.

Thus, from explanatory proposals of human behavior such as the attachment theory of John bowlbyWe know that the development of attachment between boys and girls, on the one hand, and at least one protection figure who is usually at their side, on the other, influences the development and expression of the personality of individuals from early childhood (the first months of life after birth) until they reach adulthood.

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What are attachment problems?

Attachment is so important that it has even been seen in baby primates that physical contact with a protective figure can become more valued than access to food and other goods necessary to cover what is usually considered "needs basic ”. What's more, the lack of an individual towards whom to develop a consistent attachment bond results in physical and psychiatric illness.

It is believed that this is due to the need to have the protection of adults to be able to explore the world, learn, and as a consequence, mature psychologically: if we are not sure that there is someone looking after our well-being, the environment becomes a hostile place to which we want to avoid exposing ourselves, since we have no room for maneuver to make decisions incorrect.

That is why beyond the severe pathologies produced by the total absence of a protective figure such as the mother or father during childhood, there is a gray scale in terms of psychological problems that can appear if we develop an attachment style dysfunctional.

For example, yes the type of upbringing of a child has been characterized by overprotectionThis often leads to anxiety problems in the absence of the caregiver and excessive risk avoidance in adulthood.

Yes, on the other hand, the upbringing model has been characterized by offering only the essential material sustenance and as soon as they have interacted with the child through affective exchanges, the little ones stop expecting protection from these adults and treat them in a similar way to individuals unknown to them, and develop patterns of behavior markedly rebellious and individualistic, something that upon reaching adulthood is reflected in the avoidance of commitments and emotional ties deep.

If the parenting model has been very inconsistent, offering moments of protection and affective exchange but, on the other hand, making many mistakes and "forgetfulness" when it comes to ensuring the well-being of the child or girl, the type of attachment that the little ones develop will be ambivalent, characterized by uncertainty: they will seek contact with the caregiver and, once they are by their side, they will will resist your company, suffering frustration at not feeling fully "safe" and at the same time not having the freedom to play and to explore.

In adulthood, those who have developed this attachment style tend to suffer from more anxiety problems.

• Related article: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

How does EMDR therapy intervene in these problems?

EMDR therapy is a type of psychological intervention originally intended for psychopathologies related to trauma, but later it began to be adapted to various problems associated with the psychological mark that painful experiences leave us. And the emotional maladjustments arising from dysfunctional attachment styles fall into this category.

The ultimate goal of EMDR therapy is help people to reprocess the contents of emotional memory that have been "fixed" in the neural networks of the brain in a dysfunctional way, manifesting in the present in a problematic way even when we are not making conscious efforts to recall those memories.

It is about accessing that part of memory and "editing" the way in which we have internalized it, so that stop giving rise to patterns of emotional activation that do not allow us to overcome those experiences and pass page. It is not about erasing memories, but about reconciling ourselves with that part of our past, through modifications in the way in which our brain processes that information.

Of course, being a procedure that despite intervening in the dynamics of brain activation is part of the psychotherapy, is completely painless and non-invasive: it is based on the realization of concrete actions by the patient. In fact, the activities that take place in EMDR sessions are relatively straightforward, and can be adapted for both boys and girls.

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