Paradoxical adaptation syndrome: what it is, characteristics and phases

Domestic violence is a social scourge to which a solution must be found. Unfortunately, it is difficult considering that many people do not dare to report, which is why it is difficult to know precisely how many cases of abuse in the couple there are.

In addition to financial dependence and fear, this inability to report their aggression is compounded by the compassion factor. There are victims who, despite receiving physical and psychological abuse, do not report because they adapt to the new situation and, furthermore, they come to feel understanding for what their aggressor has done.

Cases of violence are very complex and proof of this is the existence of paradoxical adaptation syndrome, a situation similar to that of Stockholm syndrome that many women and men experience with their intimate relationships.

• Related article: "The cycle of violence in intimate relationships"

What is paradoxical adaptation syndrome?

Paradoxical adaptation syndrome is a term used in contexts of domestic violence. This describes a phenomenon that appears to be contradictory:

people who are victims of aggression by their partner also end up feeling that it is their aggressor who protects them, establishing a relationship of compassion and refuge in the person who causes them mistreatment.

The learned helplessness in which the victim is trapped ends up becoming the paradoxical adaptation syndrome. This, combined with the fact that on many occasions the victims of domestic violence do not report due to fear or economic dependency, makes it reluctant to report because there comes a time when she has "adapted" to the situation, fearing that any new change will alter her and make her go to worse. They end up convinced that they can do absolutely nothing to change their situation.

Intimate partner violence is a very common scourge in most societies in the world. In most cases, it is men who commit the aggressions, but we must not ignore the fact that there are also women who exert violence with their partner, both physically and psychological. Cases of sexist violence are the most visible, but it is known that cases of aggression towards men, less visible, have also grown.

Paradoxical adaptation syndrome It occurs in all types of couples regardless of the sexual and gender identity of its members. It occurs in heterosexual couples, in homosexuals and, also, it can occur in couples whose members have non-binary genders. Be that as it may, in most cases the violence occurs in the intimate plane, it is not usually reported to the judicial instances nor is it warned to the suitable organizations against the violence of pair.

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The syndrome and its relationship with intimate partner violence

Paradoxical adaptation syndrome is experienced by the victim in a dysfunctional love relationship. It should be said that intimate partner violence is a very complex phenomenon, in which a wide repertoire of contradictory feelings, thoughts and beliefs appear.

In the best cases, the situation leads to separation, causing the victim to break free before escalating further., seeing the victim that trust and respect have been broken and, therefore, there is no other choice but to end the relationship.

However, on other occasions the victim is unable to free himself from the chains of his aggressor. Among the reasons why this happens we must take into consideration the following three factors:

• An intense fear that paralyzes the person and prevents him from making decisions.
• Perception that the situation has no possible escape.
• Lack of emotional and material resources necessary to break free.

These three factors would be those that would occur in a typical case, although it is not what occurs in absolutely all cases.

There are also people who, Although they are apparently independent and seem to have the necessary alternatives to escape their situation of physical and psychological abuse, they do not flee from it. and they experience paradoxical adaptation syndrome.

• Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different types of aggression)"

How does this syndrome arise?

In all couples where there is violence from the beginning there is an imbalance of power, be it economic, social, material or emotional. It is this situation of imbalance that is considered an essential condition for the abuse to consolidate in the relationship.

Paradoxical adaptation syndrome is a psychological reaction of people who are victims of domestic violence and, therefore, involves changes both cognitively and emotionally.

These modifications are given in order for the person to cope or survive the situation. At first it would be an adaptation mechanism, although it would not be functional because the person is adapting to a situation from which he should flee, not tolerate it.

Given its characteristics, this psychological condition it is related to Stockholm syndrome. In both problems, feelings of love, attraction and sympathy towards the aggressor are born in the victim. One of the reasons why this happens is that the victim herself compares the damage perpetrated, that which she is suffering or has already suffered, with the potential harm, coming to the conclusion that he is receiving a benefit, since it could be a lot worse.

• You may be interested in: "Stockholm syndrome: friend of my kidnapper"

The phases of paradoxical adaptation

As we said, the paradoxical adaptation syndrome is a consequence of mistreatment, of both physical and psychological abuse. This situation does not occur immediately or spontaneously, but is nourished by a long process in which we can identify four phases:

1. Trigger phase

The trigger phase takes place when the first assault is received, generally of a physical nature. This destroys the security and confidence that the victim believed that the one who has now become her aggressor gave her. A situation of mistreatment, of danger is unleashed.

• Related article: "Emotional dependence: the pathological addiction to your sentimental partner"

2. Reorientation phase

After the triggering phase occurs, the victim feels disoriented and uncertain about the new direction their relationship has just taken.

Anxiety, guilt, shame and sadness are the main emotions manifested by the abused personFeelings that make the person rethink the beliefs that she had about her partner, in search of a new balance that compensates for fear.

3. Coping phase

The victim contrasts the challenges of the new situation with the personal resources available to her. Depression and stress arise and increase more if possible. Tolerance to pain increases, thus reducing sensitivity. The coping phase in the paradoxical adaptation syndrome is in which passive resistance appears.

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4. Adaptation phase

Finally comes the phase of paradoxical adaptation itself. The deterioration of the relationship also causes a physical and mental deterioration in the victim, leading her to progressively submit to the conditions imposed by her aggressor. The feeling of inferiority makes you come to identify with the aggressor at some point, and even feel sorry for him.

Once these four phases have occurred, the paradoxical adaptation would occur. The victim ends up protecting herself by changing her behavior and her attitude towards the aggressor. In this way, the initial rejection of what her partner had done to him becomes a kind of plea for protection, compassion even for what he has done to her. This syndrome can be so alienating that it makes the victim thank her aggressor for not inflicting more pain.