How to help a person with low self-esteem: 6 tips

Many of the psychological problems that people experience have to do with having low self-esteem. When this happens, expectations about what you can and cannot do become so pessimistic that stagnation occurs and, in turn, a feeling of insecurity and sadness because of comparisons with others.

The sum of these psychological phenomena give rise to consequences such as difficulties in relating, adoption of a style of attribution that places the blame on oneself for everything bad that happens, and many other effects undesirable.

In this article we will see how to help a person with low self-esteem, always bearing in mind that she is the one who must promote that change for the better that she wants to see in her life, and that we will only facilitate her success in it.

• Related article: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

How to help a person who has low self-esteem

The guidelines that you will see below are basic principles of action when it comes to help someone else build higher self-esteem

, assuming that you can deal with that person on a frequent basis. The latter is important, since it eliminates old beliefs (in this case, related to oneself) And changing your habits of thought is something that costs a lot, and it is not achieved overnight. morning.

1. Ask him to say good things and bad things about her

This can encompass both physical or mental abilities and capacities as well as aspects of the personality. With highlighting three or four elements is enough, since the important thing is not so much to take into account the good of oneself, but to learn that what once seemed devoid of desirable virtues and properties, in reality have. In this sense, once those failures and those strengths have been named, it is good that you also talk about positive aspects of that person you are trying to help, to see how they combine with the ones they have named.

2. Reflect together on their "weaknesses"

This step builds on the previous advice, and has to do with modifying the way you think about those self-perceived weaknesses. This is important, because people with low self-esteem have a rather simplistic view of themselves (seeing everything in such a pessimistic way, your self-concept does not have too many nuances), and think about those aspects of yourself and see how they fit with reality, reasoning in a critical way, break with that idea that there is no possible improvement.

Thus, the idea is not to show that these personal failures do not exist, but to begin to see that their importance is relative, on the one hand, and that it is possible to improve in these aspects.

• You may be interested: "10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days"

3. Check the attribution style

Ask him to recall the last negative or harmful life experiences who thinks it was your fault. By asking him questions about these events, you can make him begin to see those experiences otherwise, as something that has several causes, many of which have nothing to do with one same. In this way, each time you are tempted to assume that something bad about what has happened is your fault, you will be more likely to stop and analyze in detail what is really happening.

• Related article: "Fundamental Attribution Error: pigeonholing people"

4. Encourage him to develop compassion for himself

The simple fact of taking into account that you are leaving a bad time (marked by low self-esteem) makes the possible mistakes that are going to be committed in the future to be seen in a different way. If you do not start on equal terms with the rest, it is unfair to compare yourself: others do not have to deal with the insecurities and the problem of self-esteem that you are trying to get rid of. It is more of a personal struggle, in which comparisons are over.

5. Go with that person to exercise

This is one of the most useful tips, since doing sports regularly allows you to combat self-esteem problems in different ways. On the one hand, a goal is created whose achievement is not based on complicated or confusing plans, but rather in constant effort and the fact of not giving up. This motivates and contributes a component of purpose that is missing in the lives of many people with self-esteem problems.

Second, your results are aesthetically noticeable and can be passively checked by others, lowering your expectations of making a bad impression. Finally, being healthier makes you feel in a better mood in general, so that you tend to evoke more positive memories, and this affects your self-esteem.

6. If necessary, encourage him to go to the psychologist

In some extreme cases it is necessary to go to a psychology professional to intervene through your therapy services. Help that person decide to go to the psychologist, and if necessary help them choose the center to go to.