How to maintain a friendship, in 6 tips

Maintaining a friendship is a task that many people overlook. Especially if these affective bonds are asymmetric, that is, one party gives a lot and does not receive as much, it is easy for one of the friends to get used to having the advantages of being a "friend from…".

Thus, it never hurts to remember that it is necessary to maintain a friendship through small daily acts. Friendship is demonstrated with deeds.

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How to maintain a healthy and functional friendship

Some people assume that friendships are like a noble title: a label that, unless something goes terribly wrong, is going to be preserved for life. However, this belief is totally false for a very simple reason: maintaining a friendship is not something that depends on ourselves and our existence. It is an emotional and affective bond that must be nurtured from both ends and that, if not cared for, eventually withers.

Unfortunately, not everyone takes this idea into account, and they assume that they will always count on friendship. of those who today laugh with their jokes, share the special moments and lend their help when it is necessary.

For this class of friends, friendship is self-perpetuating in time, as if it did not depend on the actions of people and had its own entity. When they realize that time has worn away this bond, it is too late, and their attempts to rebuild that union seem the fruit of interest and opportunism.

On the other hand, knowing that friendships should be maintained is not something that starts from the defense of morality, but rather starts from the most basic knowledge of psychology. Beyond what we think or what we think is good or bad, the fact is that whoever stops having incentives to be a friend or friend of someone, simply spend less time and effort on that person, unless the whole relationship has been based on a bond of dependency and therefore it is not a friendship but a toxic relational dynamic. Given this... what can we do? Here we will go over several tips for maintaining a friendship.

1. Spend time regularly with that person.

Whatever happens, a friendship is demonstrated by spending time sharing experiences with that person. This is a necessary but not sufficient measure, since everything else must be built on it. If not, it is very likely that some event that confronts the two people will not occur, but the fact that the months go by and no one has spoken It will make that, no matter how much you have a good memory of that friend or friend, there comes a point where your friendship is no longer counted on.

So, it is good to reserve certain moments to talk with that friend. Even if you are not nearby, new technologies allow you to speak in a similar way to what would happen in a dialogue in person. There is no excuse for not having regular contact.

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2. Remember the symbolic dates

This is another one of those examples that with little you can get a huge emotional impact. Remember a significant date, especially if it has to do with a shared experience, clearly shows that for us that person is important. Beyond the birthday there are many other memorable days: the day we start a trip, the day the first conversation occurred, etc.

3. Lend your help

If you know the other person is having a hard time, don't look for any excuse not to offer your help. There are those who try to avoid these types of situations simply because they do not know how to deal with them and they are afraid of hurting the other person by making them think about what worries them, but in any case leaving the comfort zone is recommended, because what can be lost (experiencing an awkward moment) is nothing compared to what can be gained.

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4. Expand your social circle if you wish

This is another way to strengthen a friendship. Get him in contact with other people in your social circle not only enriches your life and is itself a gift. In addition, it helps your friend get to know you better, through those who also know you.

5. Invest in honesty

Friendship is a space in which we can allow ourselves to be very honest. If you make honesty define you in these types of social relationships, you will be showing that they can expect almost direct access to your thoughts and opinions from you, and that they will not be making friends with a facade.

6. Use humor

Friendship relationships are those in which humor has more value, since you can joke with many more things, as long as it is done making it clear that they are to laugh together. For this reason, a few laughs help to relativize the importance of the problems, which makes the dialogues based on this genuine sense of humor become a safe space where everyone can act as they are without fear of being court.