Managing silence: one of the key skills in coaching

Human communication is much more than sending messages in the form of words and phrases in a written or spoken way. If that were the case, silence would be seen as something to avoid, a synonym for wasted potential in which no idea or emotion is transmitted... but reality is far from that.

Therefore, in this article we are going to focus on how intentional silence can be used in coaching and leadership processes, both in the context of organizations and companies and in the personal sphere and more informal interactions.

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What is intentional silence?

As its name suggests, intentional silence is a way of using pauses when speaking that aims to make silence a communicative element. Therefore, it is a resource that can be used in face-to-face conversations with an interlocutor and also in presentations in front of an audience.

The idea behind the concept of intentional silence is that face-to-face communication is very rather than the transmission of textual information (that is, that which can be reduced to letters, words and phrases).

It is no secret that a good part of the potential that human beings have to express ideas and Emotions consists of non-verbal communication, and in fact, the use of verbal communication is subsequent to the first. In a way, the non-verbal elements are not limited to being a simple complement of the words, but they have as much or more importance. AND the way we express ourselves through silence is one of those elements of non-verbal language.

Of course, one thing is that in a conversation moments of silence arise, and another thing is that there is an objective in the use of these. In fact, one of the characteristics of those who are able to lead teams in face-to-face interaction is that they know how to use silence to their advantage. Let's see why.

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Utilities of intentional silence in coaching and leadership

In coaching and leadership roles, communication is always a key aspect. It is both a way of transmitting ideas and training, as well as motivating, establishing values, energizing teams and resolving conflicts, among other things. So it comes as no surprise that intentional silence is a versatile tool if you know how to use it well. Let's see what its main uses are.

1. Lets convey the emphasis on the important parts

Silence acts by giving importance to the words said before and after it. Therefore, it can be used to indicate very clearly which are the key ideas that should be recorded in the mind of the interlocutor or the audience.

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2. It is an element of active listening

Active listening consists of let it be known that attention is paid to what the other person says, and that we react to it in an emotional way depending on the themes and concepts that emerge in the dialogue. In this sense, silence conveys the idea that what the other person is saying invites us to reflect.

Thus, on the one hand, it is another resource to generate trust, and on the other, it conveys the idea that there are some ideas that we have heard from the other that we consider important and invite us to stop and think.

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3. It allows to put "the ball on the roof of the other"

Using silences to our advantage is also about using them in a strategic way to invite the other person to continue talking, or to add something to what we have said. In other words, it is a way of indicating that the other person will speak. And in that way, a leadership role is also transmitted.

4. It is a resource to control the times

Another way that intentional silence empowers the user is that transmits self confidence: it is shown that or is afraid of the idea of ​​staying a few seconds without anyone speaking, something that many people tend to avoid. It all depends on the attitude; While some moments of silence can turn into uncomfortable moments, if we show that for we are not, they become a sign that we are not in a hurry to expose our ideas.

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5. It is a versatile tool in the use of humor

Finally, intentional silence can also be used as a humorous device. This is so because humor is often based on generating an expectation about what is going to be said next and creating moments of complicity without having to say things directly. Incorporating humorous nuances into communication can be very useful to generate a communicative climate relaxed and demonstrate versatility in energizing teams, going beyond protocol and formal.

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Are you interested in training in coaching?

If you want to train in coaching, you can do it through the courses organized by European School of Coaching and designed for professionals and companies.