Why is the perspective from which we accompany important?

Abundance or scarcity. What paradigm do you live in? And from which one do you accompany clients?

Living from a scarcity mentality generates fear, and fear triggers unconsciously learned protective behaviors and not always beneficial for the individual ...

For example, thinking "I am not enough" will unleash a fear of loneliness and a behavior that leads us to settle for any quality of relationship so as not to be alone, possibly leading to many situations of suffering, unnecessary.

This type of mentality also thrives on beliefs where "the other" is the enemy, because the basic thinking of scarcity is "there is not enough for everyone."

• Related article: "What is fear for?"

Two ways to position yourself in the abundance or scarcity mindset

There can be different cases. First of all, that of who thinks they deserve everything, which acts from the mentality of "if I have I have to defend it so as not to run out of it" and of "if I don't have it, I have to fight to have it". In this way of thinking, the individual is at least dealing with the problem, living in unnecessary tension, but occupying.

A greater problem arises when the individual feels unable to have or achieve with these types of reflections:

• I do not deserve
• Can not
• It's not for me

As much as the person does to get out of that situation, that will only change the results momentarily.

This type of scarcity mentality is generated in a paradigm of individualization, in which the perspective is rather linear, of "beginning and end"; Either you are the first or you are the last or the heap. It places the person in normality; In this state we feel that we are safe, and that makes it easier for us to leverage ourselves in what we call a comfort zone.

Thus, a perspective facilitates the "I win, you lose" or "I lose and you win." It is a way of looking at things in which "the ego" roams freely and makes decisions based on unconscious fear that produces scarcity. In this way of thinking, the individual is quite asleep because all his concern is at least not to stay last or alone.

All this entails a lot of maladjustment to the circumstances, emotional prostitution and imbalance, thinking only of individual well-being. And worst of all is that the suffering that the individual suffers is real, lived as such and unsustainable, because you cannot lower your guard: either I win or I lose.

• You may be interested in: "Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it"

The ability to adapt

On the contrary, live a mindset of abundance, promotes balance, sustainability, connection and awareness, responsibility, intrinsic motivation, and the availability of searching for alternatives.

Living abundantly, thinking abundantly, is related to a systemic perspective, an awareness of belonging to something greater than what is generated by oneself.

It is a “circular” perspective where we can all contribute and we can take; it is a common fund, each one contributes what it has improving the whole and takes everything it needs to improve it. Open space to generosity, gratitude, kindness, open a space to the other from respect.

From this way of seeing things, we have our own space, we contribute, and therefore, we don't have to fight for "if I am capable, if I can or if I deserve". In it, the person does not get lost in those questions of survival, because they are already covered, and fear, when it exists, arises from a higher level of consciousness, with an equanimous gaze to be able to act contemplating all the resources that exist in the everything.

When the accompaniment professionals look from there, we open other channels to our clients, from the connection with themselves. From the possibility of loving each other as they are and especially from the possibility of stopping being afraid of themselves.

Abundance strengthens happiness and well-being. Because it connects with the essence of the human being and the ego becomes an ally that alerts me when I get lost. Scarcity weakens it because it connects with the destructive ego.

• You may be interested in: "Is it appropriate to set happiness as a therapeutic goal?"

How do you know from which perspective people speak?

Here are some Keys to knowing where your client is speaking from, or even where you are thinking from.

Thoughts from scarcity

• They define themselves innocent.
• They are justified.
• They relate.
• They complain.
• They speak impersonally, he has fallen.
• They suppose.
• They like to be directed so as not to assume responsibilities. What do I have to do?
• They live in the before.
• They stick to your expectations.
• They react.
• They speak without a subject.
• They want to have reason to assert themselves.

Thoughts from abundance

• They inform they do not suppose.
• They speak from responsibility, that is, they are included in the results.
• They explain, they do not justify.
• They speak in 1st person.
• They narrate the facts.
• They choose to be productive.
• They learn from mistakes.
• They act.
• They are in the present.
• They define objectives.
• They make decisions.

• Related article: "Cognitive schemas: how is our thinking organized?"

Concluding

The change in language and in how we address our clients will mean giving them a different place and showing them a path from which they can find different solutions to their situations and problems.

Did you like the article? He comments.

It's just a reflection, it works for me. Scarcity and abundance generate different worlds, and when it comes to personal well-being it is essential where we are looking.

What there is is what there is, more what I do with what there is will depend on how I position myself in this life.