Loving someone who doesn't love you: 12 tips on what to do

Sometimes when we like a person, we idealize them to a great extent. This situation results in anguish and anxiety when we see that our expectations with that person are not met.

Wanting someone who doesn't love youWhen it comes to a sentimental partner, it is never positive for your mental health. This situation will bring a series of complications that can affect various areas of your life, and that is why it is necessary to know what to do to put an end to the anguish produced by this experience.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

Loving someone who does not love you: what to do to stop feeling bad?

Here are some recommendations to overcome the situation of loving someone who does not love you. Although no one is in full control of these circumstances, it is always best to be prepared.

1. Be rational about the situation

This implies see things as they are really happening, and not as we would like them to happen. It will require us to use logic to see the situation more realistically; in this way we will be able to accept the facts and move on.

2. Really know who the other person is

Sometimes it can be enough to have exchanged a few ideas, or to have chatted for a few days, to feel that we already love the other person. Uncertainty is unhealthy as it lends itself to idealization.

The best thing to do is get to know the other person well, take the time to exchange opinions, tastes, and see what we have in common. Sometimes we see virtues where there are none, just on a whim; we must be attentive to that possibility.

• You may be interested: "The stages of heartbreak and its psychological consequences"

3. Set personal goals

The objective of this is that we stop focusing all our energy on the other person and begin to work more on ourselves. Create personal strategic planning helps a lot to the cause of overcoming an unrequited love.

4. Remember that nobody is indispensable

Keep in mind that you do not need other people to achieve happiness. Social relationships are important, but they must be reciprocal. If someone does not want us to be part of her life, it is a decision that we must respect.

5. Find hobbies

Get activities that keep you in touch with yourself. This way you will avoid intrusive thoughts. and you will get to know yourself better through those activities.

The idea is that they are things that you like, they can be old hobbies that you had left behind. It's never too late to pick them up again, and what better time than when you need to clean the slate.

6. Avoid self-pity

Just because the other person is not interested in us does not mean that something is wrong with us. Everyone has reasons to do thingsPerhaps very personal reasons that we will not always know.

The problem doesn't have to be you, so instead of pitying yourself, better focus on learning from experiences to strengthen yourself from them.

7. Meet new people

This does not mean that you seek to replace the other person with a different one; It refers to giving yourself the opportunity to expand your social circle with new friends, which can be enriching for your life.

Do not focus your attention completely on someone, this will gradually make you submit to a relationship based on dependency.

8. Communicate assertively

Speaking clearly and concisely will avoid many misunderstandings with the person of whom we have deluded ourselves.

If we are able to express our feelings bluntly, then we are more likely to get more timely responses that can make us understand things in the best way.

9. Not everything depends on you

Once we have understood this, everything will be easier. There are circumstances and situations that are simply beyond our control, for example, the personal decisions of other people.

The best thing will always be to focus on what we can do and work from that, accepting that everyone thinks differently and has the right to do so.

10. Visualization

This is a technique that is commonly used in therapy. It consists of going to a quiet place and imagining ourselves in situations that are pleasant for us. We close our eyes to imagine for a moment that we are fine without that person, that we fulfill our personal goals and enjoy it.

This is very useful to begin to really understand that we can be happy regardless of whom we have loved and does not love us in the same way, that is, with whom the love situation has arisen reciprocated.

11. Accept the grieving process

This type of duel consists of having asked for the idea we had of that person as part of an exciting project, because that loss inevitably causes us discomfort.

To overcome this situation it is important to accept that things were not as we probably imagined them. When we understand that we are closer to having a certain emotional balance again.

12. Keep the distance

This is really important to be able to definitively overcome the fact of loving someone who does not love you (or does not do it the way you would like). The more distance we have with respect to the person in question the more we will be helping our brain to forget it.

After a while, when you feel that you are already strengthened and that person does not exercise any control about your emotions, you will see how you can even approach to say hello without your peace of mind showing affected. But all this requires time, and above all the personal decision to move forward.