People who are closed to love: what they are like and how to help them

Loving and being loved is, according to many, the most beautiful thing in the world. Whether it is a family member, a friend and, of course, a partner, the truth is that the majority of the human race feels love for someone and wants to be reciprocated.

But nevertheless, there are not a few people who close themselves to love. It seems that they do not want to know anything about this emotion. They are cold, insensitive, emotionally distant. Because they are so? Are they incapable of feeling? Are they afraid to love?

We are going to try to understand why some people close themselves to love, also finding out what we can do to break their armor of coldness and emotional distance.

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How are people who close themselves to love?

Emotional ignorance is not only manifested in an inability to connect with feelings, both one's own and others, but also in being afraid of feeling certain emotions. Whether due to scant emotional intelligence

or due to a manifest inexperience of certain feelings, there are people who are closed to love, something that undoubtedly hinders the creation of solid, healthy and lasting bonds.

Emotional inaccessibility is a very noticeable trait of people who are closed to love. They are not only closed to that feeling, but to any other emotion that involves them establishing a relationship of deep intimacy with others. They are people who they raise all kinds of invisible barriers but so thick that, apparently, they seem insurmountable. They prevent us from approaching them. They are emotionally distant people.

The profile of people who are closed to love denotes great emotional immaturity, the product of both ignorance and inexperience when it comes to managing their feelings. This means that, far from seeing it as something pleasant and that they would like to have in their lives, they perceive love as a threat. They fear that feeling it exposes them to a situation of great vulnerability. They interpret that falling in love and showing their feelings will serve for malicious people to take advantage of them.

This does not mean that they do not have relationships. People who are closed to love have, like any other, friends, relatives or even partners, human relationships in which some emotionality is exhibited. However, these types of people tend to abandon them or simply close the band when many emotions surface. They carry a hard shell to retreat to whenever they need it, especially when minimal emotional contact is required of them.

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Because they are so?

As emotionally distant people that they tend to be, those who close themselves off from love are so because of something that happened to them in the past. that something It is usually a failed affective relationship, a love that went wrong, that did not meet your expectations or that even involved abuse by your ex-partner. It may also have happened that they had a bad relationship with their parents, siblings or other people of his most intimate environment in his first years of life or childhood, and that since then drags a trauma.

This first experience with love, traumatic and extremely painful, leaves a mark on his heart, which will make the person close in band so as not to be damaged again and even behave in appearance as a cold individual and lacking all kinds of feelings.

Naturally, he does have emotions, but he doesn't want to show them for fear of being hurt again.. For this reason they do not share their feelings and try to hide all their emotions as best they can under a hard shell, a wall of containment and protection.

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How to help these types of people

As we have discussed, people who are closed to love are emotionally distant individuals who are cold. They take refuge under a shell of apparent hardness and insensitivity, but underneath they hide fear, fear of being vulnerable if they experience that beautiful feeling of love. His fear of receiving harm from someone he might love is greater than the human desire to love and be loved. Many experiences are lost due to the fear of something that they are not sure if it will happen.

Knowing how to help a person who is closed to love requires delicacy. Talking with an individual with these characteristics can be somewhat complicated, but not impossible. We are going to see some tips to get these types of people to come out of their shell and show what they really feel. It is important that we earn their trust and show ourselves as understanding people with good intentions.

The purpose of the advice that we are going to see is not to make someone who closes love end up falling in love with us. Love doesn't work like that, we can't force anyone to love us just because. The objective of what we are going to see is to help a person, be it a family member, a friend or even our own partner to open up, not to give up a feeling as beautiful as love.

1. Start from your comfort zone

If we want to talk openly with a person who is closed to love, it is important not to be intrusive. You have to start in her comfort zone, stealthily and without altering it. It is not advisable to start by going straight to the point. It is preferable to start with topics of conversation that we know make you feel comfortable and safe.

As the conversation flows and that person feels more confident in you, it will be time to start talking about the real topic that we want to talk about, which is basically how they feel. why you are afraid to love and if you need something from us that can help you.

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2. Be nice

Empathy is essential in every human relationship. Is It is the best tool to get a person to trust us and reveal their inner world to us.. We must put ourselves in the place of people who are closed to love, understand that if they are like that, it will most likely be because some unpleasant experience from her past, a great disappointment with love or bad relationships with people she felt for something.

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3. No pressure

The last thing an emotionally distant person who shows barriers to loving and being loved wants is to be pressured.. If she normally doesn't show too much of her emotions, she will do less self-conscious and overwhelmed by our pressure. We must respect her time and her own limits, make her the one who has control of the situation. We can't force her to be what we want her to be, she just won't work. You have to respect her and try to improve the relationship from her reality.