Positive education: 15 examples and practical strategies

The objective of this article is to offer some guidelines that promote positive education, involving parents, teachers and any professional who works with children, providing an education based on establishing norms, clarifying limits, affection, preserving the rights of the child and the Adults.

I will divide it into 3 blocks: how to promote appropriate behaviors, how to reduce inappropriate behaviors and how to help you be a positive child.

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How to reinforce appropriate or pro-social behaviors

Is about select the desired or appropriate behaviors to be carried out by the minor (example: start doing homework at a certain time, brush your teeth, take care of your brother, leave the clothes in the basket...). For this we use two techniques:

1. positive reinforcement

They are compliments while performing an appropriate behavior, social, verbal or playful rewards to do something right. For example: if he is quietly on the sofa watching TV with her little sister, tell him "I love that you behave like that, you're a champion", while we give him a touch on her shoulder.

These reinforcements must be done immediately, while you are doing it. We must use it both with behaviors that we consider correct and that the child performs (to favor the fact that he continues doing it), as with new behaviors that do not exist in his behavioral repertoire. This will favor the increase in the frequency of an existing behavior, although at a low rate.

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2. points program

It consists of selecting the behaviors that we want to increase (doing homework, writing in the agenda, going out with friends, brushing teeth...). Once selected we will choose a reinforcer for each of them. The ideal is to spend some time doing pleasant activities (watching TV, computer, eating something you like, playing something with your child that we know you love...).

At first there must be immediacy between performing the desired behavior and the reward. For this we can make a table that is a schedule of tasks. In the rows we would indicate the behaviors to be carried out, in the columns the days.

Every time you do one of these behaviors you must put a point (it can be with a sticker, make a cross, color it...), if he does not do it, that box remains blank (avoid sad faces, negative points, red...).

If he forgets any of the tasks, you can remind him: "there is something you could do to get another point and you have forgotten, look in the schedule what it is". In the case of older children, instead of using a table, we could write it as a contract, with the conduct to be performed and the corresponding bonus clause (prize) and sanction.

My advice is that if the child completes the task, she receives the prize and if she does not the sanction is the deprivation of said prize. For example: “if you do your homework you will have free time to play; if you don't make them you won't have it”, “if you eat in 30 minutes you will have the dessert that you like the most; if you don't eat in 30 minutes there will be no dessert”.

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How to reduce the frequency of inappropriate behaviors?

Below you can find strategies that try to minimize or reduce all that disruptive or dysfunctional behavior.

1. Extinction

Consists in “ignoring” the child's inappropriate behavior (tantrum, anger, threats, insults). Telling him "don't do it anymore", "stay still", "I'm going to get angry"... is a way of paying attention to him, so he will continue to do so.

We must withdraw the reinforcing consequence (attention) to the emission of the inappropriate behavior, so that the child learns the association between doing something inappropriate - not paying attention to it. You have to ignore this type of verbalizations and behaviors never giving in to them.

2. Time out

It consists of physically removing the child from the current space to move him to her room or another place, for a short time. It can also be the parents who leave the place where the child is in the event that what I have said above is unfeasible.

It will be done immediately to dysfunctional behavior, so that the child associates it directly with said action, with a neutral attitude, using a tone of voice that is as objective as possible, avoiding any attitude of anger, without scolding or yelling.

We will do it without establishing social interaction with him. In the event that the child asks why we do this to him, we will give him a concrete explanation, and without emotional charge, of the reason. We can remove the child from the reinforcing situation (for example, instigating him to go to her room and leave the room where he is beating her brother), or eliminate the stimulus that causes the misbehavior (for example, if the child begins to throw food that he does not want to eat with a spoon, remove the spoon).

The application time will be approximately 5 minutes, never exceed 10, and always with supervision. The child may return to the site where she was, or we may return to the site where the conflict occurred when her behavior in the last minute was the right one, trying not to do it while displaying inappropriate behaviors such as yelling, threatening, hits…

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3. overcorrection

The boy “replenishes” the damage caused. He must practice the correct way to perform the task or what is asked of him. This technique is used in the face of behaviors that cause harm or cause deterioration (for example: intentionally spilling milk on the table).

In these cases, we must encourage the child to undo or repair the damage through positive behaviors (in this case, picking up the spilled milk with a cloth). This may not be easy, but it is essential that the child assumes his responsibility, recognizing what he has done, solving it as soon as possible.

If the child is reluctant to practice, you have to help him to perform the correct actions with his hands (if he does not want to pick up, take their hands and guide them as if they were those of a robot, picking them up and depositing them in the place Right).

Crying, tantrums, or resistance should be ignored, trying to remain calm but firm until the task is finished or the child begins to do it alone. Let's not forget, once the task is finished, praise and reinforce obedience.

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How to make the child positive?

How to tell a child to do something? Instructions should be brief, clear and specific. Give the commands one at a time, using positive “do” phrases (eg, “throw out the trash before you play Wii,” instead of “you haven't thrown the trash out yet, have you?”).

are recommended positive “if-then” sentences. For example: “if you do your homework you can go outside”, “if you pick up your room you can watch TV”. If possible, we will give options so that he can choose (for example: if he has to take a shower, he can choose whether to do it before or after studying, as long as he complies).

We have to praise his obedience and, as we are seeing throughout the article, establish consequences for it. It is helpful to give helpful notices and reminders (for example: “When the news song comes on, you know you have to go to bed”). Parents, teachers or adults who surround the child must agree with each other, avoiding giving unnecessary or contradictory orders, without threatening the child (for example, an incorrect way would be: “Pablo, when are you going to throw out the garbage?”, “if you don't behave well, I will have to punish you”, “is it so difficult to tidy up your bedroom?"…)

Using the guidelines seen in the previous lines, we could say something like: “Pablo, go throw out the garbage before playing the Wii”, “if you play with your sister without making her cry, I will take you to the swing park”, “if you tidy up your room you can take the tablets"). Let's practice the "where I said cost I say prize" (for example: instead of “if you forget to brush your teeth I will forget to give you candy”, we will say “if you brush your teeth after eating, you can have candy this afternoon”).

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How to help you think positive

negative thoughts (“It's going to go wrong for me”) produce a negative view of the child (“I'm bad”). For this reason we must try to avoid generalizations (“this time it did not go as well as yesterday” instead of “it went wrong”).

When we generalize (we use the whole, never, ever, always…), we create a label. The distortion of thought is an inadequate way of thinking that generates in children a distorted vision of who they are, preventing them from seeing reality, negatively affecting your mood and in misbehavior.

One way to help is offer you an alternative instead of judging (For example: If he makes a mistake in a game, we could tell him "see if you do it this way it will be better for you", instead of saying "you did it wrong", and not giving him the option to improve).

How to tell him what makes us feel bad

it implies emit a positive expression before and after a negative expression, a complaint, rejection or a request. By doing so, we soften the negative expression, and we increase the probability that the receiver will hear the negative message clearly and with less annoyance.

Example: a student has done a job that is below her usual performance, and you would not like her to slow down. According to this technique, we could say something like: “the truth is that I am very happy with all your work, although this I think it came out a bit weak, but I'm sure that the next one will be in line with the rest of the works from all over the world! course!

Children need to feel loved, and they also need to have limits in order to internalize and establish rules preventing non-compliance and future sanctions of these. Helping them to have a good image of themselves will be a source of positive emotions and actions according to their goals, so we must avoid labels negative, specifying what he may have done wrong "this time" instead of "always" or "never", providing an alternative or possible solution, always reinforcing what do well.