How to deal with a new pregnancy after a previous loss

The news of a pregnancy is generally conceived as something very positive and wonderful; It is usually a reason for celebration and so congratulations to the future parents and the rest of the family.

Normally, this is a very happy stage, full of hope and joy. But... How do parents experience a new pregnancy when they have had a previous perinatal loss?

• Related article: "Perinatal psychology: what is it and what functions does it perform?"

Psychological management of pregnancy after going through a miscarriage

Although it is a taboo subject, abortions are a reality; in fact, they are quite common, although sharing is not so common.** Many families go through this experience in silence**, since the pain they cause is not socially recognized.

This experience makes the parents connect much more clearly with the possibility that the pregnancy could go wrong. It is true that in all pregnancies there is that fear of loss, but when you have lived in the first person, you are more aware of this "silenced" reality and the alarm goes off that it can happen again.

Therefore, differences could be described when facing a new pregnancy between people who have experienced a previous loss or not, in three areas.

emotional level

On an emotional level, pregnancy can be experienced in a much more stressful way. Fear is installed as an unpleasant companion throughout the stage.

An affective ambivalence is experienced between the joy of expecting the baby and the hope that everything will go well, the guilt for the previous pregnancy loss, the incessant search for an explanation for it and the anguish in case it happens again.

On many occasions, this causes parents to implement self-protection strategies., such as waiting longer to share the news with the environment; and they even take longer to bond with the baby. Of course, this is not something chosen, but rather, it works as a defense mechanism against possible damage.

cognitive level

At the cognitive level, a state of hypervigilance appears. As we have said, the fear is greatly intensified and there is a much higher tendency to search for and negatively interpret signs that indicate the baby's condition.

This can also affect the woman's security and confidence in her role as mother and increase insecurities about whether she is or is going to do well.

behavioral level

At the behavioral level, more control behaviors are carried out with the aim of achieving a greater sense of security. For example, medical visits increase, the mother may limit her routine in order to prevent further loss from taking place, and at When buying what is necessary for the arrival of the baby, one is also more cautious and it is usually done as close as possible to the end of the gestation.

• You may be interested: "Distress: Symptoms, Causes and Possible Treatments"

Tips to be able to live a new pregnancy in a healthy and enjoyable way

keep these in mind emotional management tips:

• Consult all your doubts with medical professionals and trust them. This can help you achieve a greater sense of security and peace of mind.
• Everything you feel and think is valid. As we have mentioned, fear and anguish are going to be very present, but the objective is not for them to disappear, nor is it necessary to fight against them. Let's try normalize and accept them, managing to be able to enjoy this period despite their presence.
• Sharing it with your environment can be very positive. Express and ask them to respect your status and tell them how you would like them to act or what you need.
• Try to focus on what does depend on you. Healthy eating, exercise, practice some leisure activity that provides you with well-being...

• Seek professional support if you think it is necessary, since going through a new pregnancy can be very difficult to manage. This will help you develop adequate coping tools to live this experience in a healthy and enjoyable way.

Author: María Espinosa del Olmo, General Health Psychologist at the TAP Center.