Fear of growing up (in children and adults): causes and symptoms

Human beings are constantly growing and developing, and these changes not only occur on a biological level, but also on a psychological and social level. As we grow our environment requires us to behave in a certain way..

Over the years, our physical appearance changes, and our mind too. We become more and more independent and responsible as we enter adulthood. Although we generally mature as we get older, some adults remain anchored in the desire to behave like children or adolescents without being able to take responsibility for their actions and life adult. It's kind of scared to grow.

• Related article: "Gerantophobia or Gerascophobia: the fear of growing old"

Fear of growing up: what is it?

The growth and development of people have always interested psychologists. One of the best known theories in developmental psychology is that of Erik Erikson, called “Theory of Psychosocial Development”. This author postulates that people go through a series of stages throughout our lives, and in these we have to overcome a series of conflicts that, if successfully overcome, make us acquire different skills vital.

To grow is to evolve, to develop, progress and overcome the different stages, that is, not get stuck in any. Growing up brings with it new knowledge and learning, although it is also necessary to let go of old habits or behavior as we get older.

Sometimes people they do not follow a normal progression and are afraid of getting older. The fear of growing up can manifest itself in two ways: with the Peter Pan syndrome, more related to psychosocial aspects; or with gerantophobia or gerontophobia, which is the fear of growing older, more related to physical aspects (body image, loss of mobility, etc.).

• Related article: "The Peter Pan Syndrome: Adults Trapped in Never Land"

What is Peter Pan syndrome about?

The Peter Pan syndrome refers to those adults who continue to behave like children or adolescents without being able to take responsibility for their actions and adult life. It is usually associated with the fear of facing difficulties alone, of not leaving your comfort zone and waiting for others to solve your problems. Those who present it are very dependent and well-to-do individuals.

Individuals with this fear of growing up have serious Difficulty assuming adult roles, such as that of a father or that of a professional, and they resist becoming independent. They maintain superficial sentimental relationships and do not achieve vital stability.

What are your symptoms

Peter Pan syndrome brings with it different consequences for the person who suffers from it. Generally, these individuals appear to be happy and live life to the fullest; however, they present high levels of anxiety and sadness. They may also feel unfulfilled with their lives, which affects their self-esteem.

There are different symptoms that warn of the presence of this syndrome linked to the fear of growing up. They are the following:

• They are dependent people with constant need for attention.
• They feel great insecurity, lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
• Commitment is not part of their life, as they consider it an obstacle to their freedom.
• They tend to be self-centered people.
• They tend to be spoiled and expect to receive rather than give.
• They have a low tolerance for frustration.
• They tend to behave like children or adolescents even after 30 years.
• They feel great dissatisfaction.
• They are afraid of loneliness.
• They do not take responsibility for their actions and have little capacity for self-criticism.

Causes of Peter Pan syndrome

The causes of Peter Pan syndrome can be varied. The dependent or avoidant personality can lead to the development of this condition. The style that the person has to deal with problems, too. Likewise, the educational style that he has received from his family and the excessive protection during his development can cause the individual not to be emotionally strong and therefore more likely to develop this syndrome.

Economic difficulties and the inability to find employment, as well as irrational beliefs and lack of social skills may be behind this phenomenon.

Fear of growing up in children

While it is clear that some adults may have a great fear of growing up, in the case of children this is unlikely to happen. In large part, this is because their degree of reflection is lower and on a social level they do not feel as much pressure.

However, in some cases it can happen that children associate adulthood with something negative, which causes them anxiety and terror and causes them to develop a phobia.

Magazine LiveScience echoed the news of a 14-year-old Mexican boy who felt such an intense fear of growing up that she took action extreme for his growth, such as restricting his food intake and distorting his voice to speak with a more sharp. The little boy began to suffer from the phobia at the age of 11, and a few years later he was diagnosed with gerontophobia.

What is gerontophobia?

Gerontophobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by an irrational fear of aging. In other words, as the years go by and the person undergoes a change in appearance, has to depend on others, loses mobility, is taken to a residence or their health worsens. Phobias cause extreme anxiety in the person who suffers from them, so they tend to avoid the feared stimulus, be it an object or a situation.

Gerontophobia usually manifests itself in the last stage of 30 years, when wrinkles start to appear. Much of the blame for the development of this disorder is the media bombardment of perfect body image. However, traumatic events are associated with the development of many phobias, and gerontophobia is no exception. The inability to accept that people age is also one of the reasons why this disorder can manifest itself.