Fear of being a mother: why it appears and how to overcome it

The fear of being a mother is one of the most unnoticed psychological phenomena, despite the fact that it is experienced by many women. It is not something to be taken lightly, as it corresponds to motherhood, a fact that transforms the day to day of those who she is going to have a baby and that, therefore, she thinks about this whole process through a strong implication emotional.

In this article we will see Why the fear of motherhood can appear and what can be done to overcome it.

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Fear of motherhood: possible causes

The fear of becoming a mother is relatively common in women who are considering the possibility of becoming pregnant for the first time or who are already pregnant. In the latter case, the emotional impact of receiving the news of the pregnancy can lead to serious suffering even if they had already planned to become pregnant. Ambiguity and ambivalence in feelings is something very characteristic when the fear of motherhood is present.

Below we will see some of the most important key ideas to assess what may be the causes of this fear, in each case.

1. Is it a wanted pregnancy?

Some women confuse the fear of being a mother with the simple fact of not wanting to be a mother. Due to the traces left by the machismo that has prevailed for centuries in practically all cultures, the will of women tends to be overlooked when it comes to their own ability to conceive, assuming that motherhood is a phase of life through which they must pass, when this is not so at all.

Not wanting to have children is, of course, completely legitimate, and the social pressure that can lead to seeing refusal to have a baby as a problem should not be seen as an individual problem, but as a collective, community one.

2. Fear of medical complications

Many women are afraid when they think about the danger of childbirth. Although fortunately in most developed countries it is possible to give birth under medical care conditions that contribute much security, there are times when you cannot count on this guarantee (either because of the place where you live or for other conditions materials). On the other hand, it can also happen that this danger is overestimated.

In addition, in many cases a double fear is perceived: to die oneself, and for the baby to die.

3. The fear of not being prepared

It is also very frequent, within the cases of fear of being a mother, that motherhood is seen as a task that requires many skills and competencies at the same time, leaving no time to "train" in them without exposing the newborn to risks or dangers. The new role of mother is seen as a total transformation that requires adopting totally different habits, something that is not easy to do or plan.

4. The fear of transmitting problems

Beyond the possible imagined inability to be a mother, there are also those who fear creating a new life, since they assume that possibly he will have an unfortunate existence due to the fact that he was born from whom he was born, inheriting a whole series of issues.

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How to overcome the fear of being a mother?

As we have seen, the fear of being a mother is not based on the lack of will to be, but on the fear of creating great problems from a pregnancy, despite the fact that there is something about motherhood that is seductive or even despite wanting to have a baby. That is, there is a duality: You want to have a son or daughter, but there are a number of obstacles that can harm the woman who suffers from it or the unborn baby, or both, and that are almost inherent in the process of becoming a mother.

Each case is unique, and the intensity of this fear can vary greatly.. For those women who feel especially bad with this anguish, it is advisable to see a health professional. mentally, but for the rest, it may be enough trying to apply some very basic and simple principles that we will see below. continuation.

1. Find out about health coverage

It is a very basic first step that can avoid a lot of worries. Seeing the way in which medical teams can attend to the needs and possible problems that arise during maternity is a relief. Many times, it is preferred not to do this so as not to have to think about pregnancy (since it produces anxiety), but if this first hurdle is overcome, much of the fear will go away.

2. Evaluate the material conditions in which one lives

If there are reasons to think that maternity is materially unfeasible due to lack of resources, it is It is advisable to postpone the pregnancy, but for this it is important to ask for third opinions, because the fear of maternity can greatly skew our point of view.

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3. Start learning to be a mother

It is true that taking care of a baby is a responsibility, but it is not a task reserved only for an intellectual or physical elite: with due process of learning, You can play this maternal or paternal role well.

The simple fact of getting involved and learning during the previous months makes us feel more prepared and the fear of being a mother disappears, while self-esteem increases.