Eagerness for protagonism: what it is, characteristics and possible causes

Many people want to be the center of attention, something that in itself does not have to mean anything bad. In fact, most of us want to stand out on more than one occasion, feel admired and valued by others. Everyone wants to have their five minutes of glory.

However, there are people whose desire for protagonism reaches exorbitant levels, almost pathological. Interested in everyone talking about them, these people are able to attract attention and monopolize conversations when it's not your turn, such as at a friend's wedding or a friend's funeral known.

The desire for protagonism is a detrimental trait in excess, something that we will discover why next.

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What is the desire for protagonism?

Everyone knows someone who loves to be the center of attention. It can be a friend, a family member, a co-worker or even ourselves. Most of us like to stand out from the rest at some point, that our merits are appreciated and that we have admiration. This is something that, in its fair measure, is a normal, healthy personality trait, nothing to worry about.

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There are situations in which showing a desire for protagonism is not appropriate. Although the social context determines when it is appropriate to be the life of the party and when it is not, there are people who they disregard social conventions and show an inordinate interest because everyone pays them attention.

It is one thing to want to be the protagonists of our own story, something totally normal and recommended, and quite another always want to impose on others, going over their will and underestimating their desires, needs and emotions.

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The importance of controlling it from childhood

The desire for protagonism already appears in childhood, manifested in the call for attention of the little ones towards their parents. This makes evolutionary sense because, to survive during the first years of life, it is necessary for our caregivers to pay attention to us, to satisfy our needs. It is totally normal and adaptive for children to seek prominence during the early stages of their lives..

However, as children get older and more independent, this sticking together can become a sign that something is wrong. Personality can be greatly influenced by education and other variables outside the genetic code.

The environment exerts a lot of influence on our personality and, combined with what we inherit from our parents, they make us who we are. Having said that, we can understand that the desire for child protagonism can be controlled by properly educating the little ones.

Children need attention, but giving it to them at all hours will harm their social independence, becoming excessively self-centered people, eager to have the leading role at all times, even when the situation is not going with they. Not controlling the desire for protagonism at an early age will mean that, when older, we have an individual capable of wanting to be the center of attention in situations such as a friend's wedding, a relative's birthday party, the funeral of a known…

Ironically, the desire for prominence in adulthood can also be caused by a lack of care and attention when you were a child. When parents do not pay the necessary attention to their children or quickly meet their needs, It may be that the little ones are forced to exert great efforts so that their parents finally make them case. These children grow up with the idea that if they really want to be heard and taken into account, they have to work very hard, that if they do not get attention, they will be completely ignored.

The best medicine to prevent children from developing a pathological desire for protagonism is to teach them from very young that they are not the center of the world, but also letting them know that when they need something, they should say it They must be patient, wait their turn to talk or play and understand that there are other boys and girls like them, with their own needs and desires who also want to be heard.

In addition, they must also be taught that being competitive is not always good and to recognize their talents and achievements in others, not just wanting to compare them with their own. Also, teach them not to feel unhealthy envy of how much other people may have, nor to feel excessive pride in having more than others, it can become a strategy so that they do not reach adolescence and adulthood claiming to always be the center of attention.

And, also, to prevent them from growing up feeling that they have to work hard to get their caregivers to meet their needs, it is essential to provide small affection, attention and care.

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The desire for protagonism and histrionic personality disorder

First of all, we emphasize that showing an excessive desire for protagonism cannot necessarily be attributed to a mental disorder. However, it is important to understand that this trait in adulthood is usually caused by dysfunctional dynamics during childhood with the relationship with their parents, both due to excessive attention and being totally ignored. In the most severe cases, this trait becomes pathological and manifests itself in the form of histrionic personality disorder.

This disorder usually begins to manifest in the first years of life. The ways of attracting attention among people with histrionic personality disorder are focused on in aspects such as gestures, clothing, overacting, drama, exaggeration... All accompanied by sudden mood swings and an overflowing expression of emotional instability. Other notable symptoms of the disorder are:

• Act and look exaggeratedly seductive.
• Being easily influenced by others.
• Being too concerned with physical appearance.
• Being overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval.
• Believing that personal relationships are more intimate than they really are.
• Blaming other people for personal failures.
• Constantly seek trust or approval.
• Have low tolerance for frustration.
• Want immediate gratification.
• The need to be the center of attention.

People with this disorder have a pathological need to be accepted, approved, validated and recognized. They are people who have ideal social skills to capture the interest of others, which makes them be perceived, at least during the first impression, as attractive and funny. In fact, their treatment can be pleasant during the first impression, giving the feeling that they are very enthusiastic and motivated people.

However, as the focus shifts to someone else or something, they often express a lot of discomfort and not feel comfortable. They need attention, they need to satisfy their desire for prominence. Automatically, they do their best to take control of the conversations and redirect them towards them or about the topics they want to talk about. Their self-esteem depends a lot on how much they are talked about, which makes them end up being seen as egotistical and vain people. They feel as if they would die if they are not talked about.