Why running away from your emotions is the worst mistake you can make

Being in the presence of our emotions without fear, without guilt and without shame is the key to begin to release the blocks that stop us from taking steps towards our projects in adult life.

Appeasing the soul without taking the pill of avoidance or escape is the true inner work, the which invites us to face what we fear so much: reaching a certain age without being "successful", the loneliness or the fear of feeling lost, or continuing in that job that makes us feel unhappy.

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The need to accept our emotional side

We have been taught that an achievement is more important than embracing each other with compassion and acknowledging our pain.. We have been taught to play heroines and heroes, there is no worse mistake than this.

Emotions are our internal compass; not knowing how to manage them leads us to create wounds that in adult life are chains that weigh on the body, on the decisions, in the inability to achieve our projects, or leave places and relationships for fear of loneliness.

In childhood, especially, we form a series of emotional programming that we activate in situations that we experience as threatening.

For example, if we were overprotected as children, it is possible that we will develop an elusive personality: it will be difficult for us to trust our abilities and we will feel panic of live situations where we have to put our skills to the test, so we prefer to run away, there being few spaces where we feel safe being ourselves themselves.

Until we become fully aware that running away is just the mechanism we learned to use to avoid pain If we feel rejected or inferior, we will continue to see life through this lens that, we know by the term of personality, is the product of a combination of several aspects:

• Relatives: both from the nucleus and from the family tree, from these we inherit certain patterns or programming.
• Individual: our characteristics, such as temperament, accompany us from birth.
• Social: when we arrive in the world we are expected to occupy a role in the family and society.

All these, shape our unconscious patterns and they are the source to recognize what leads us to feel blocked. Giving ourselves the opportunity to connect with the emotional part that overshadows us, that is, that leads us to be reactive, is to be able to question the personality on which we have built a way of seeing reality and that through emotions we give it a certain strength and intensity.

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What is the challenge in stopping running from those overflowing emotions that scare us so much?

Recognize that they come from unresolved affective needs, and that we learned certain strategies so that they were compensated. Let's take an example, "being the good girl", this character that I find so much in consultation: because of the desire to be seen by mom, dad, caregivers...

We become a character who does not know how to say "no" and wants to satisfy everyone (in addition to the fact that, socially, this is what is expected of the role of being a woman); There will come a time when we have already rehearsed this pattern so much that we end up identifying ourselves.

In adulthood it will limit us when it comes to giving life to our projects, because building them implies giving up the expectations that others have of us. If you follow me here, my invitation is: don't run away more than it hurts you! The pill will not be effective forever, it goes straight to recognizing those personality programs that have led you to act on automatic.

At the moment that the overflowing emotions arrive, enter into silence, feel the discomfort that they generate in you, connect with the girl / or inner, accompany her / or so that she stops seeing the world as a threat, so that she no longer negotiates her being in the need to be validated.

When we allow ourselves to inhabit all that emotionality, there will come a time when a part of us will invite us to calm down.

In this way, the part of us that is the seed of the serene and allows us to be again with the girl from the adult, to tell her: you are enough, here and now you are doing it well. The key will always be to return to ourselves again, learn to mother and father ourselves to stop looking outside for what is already inside.