How to help a child who is afraid of the dark, in 5 steps

Fear of the dark is one of the most common fears in children.even well into adolescence. As always, it cannot be said that fear in itself is a bad thing, but that, in any case, it can be harmful if it is transforms into a pattern of avoidant behavior that appears when there is no reason to be alert or to look for another place sure. In this article we will see several tips on how to act on children who are afraid of the dark to help them and alleviate the discomfort they feel when staying in places without light.

• Related article: "Child psychology: a practical guide for parents"

Children afraid of the dark: why do they suffer?

The first thing we must do when addressing this issue is to understand the logic that underlies the child's experience of fear. The fear of the dark is something acquired, that is, an involuntary learning, not something that arises innately in the child and that must then be corrected. This implies that, just as it has been learned, it can also be unlearned.

AND what is the point of fearing the lack of light

? Vision is one of the senses that we use the most when it comes to receiving stimuli from the outside, and in fact the part of the brain that we use to process visual information is very large. Therefore, when the sight is annulled, we feel much more disoriented and dependent on others or the resources we can find.

In the case of children, to this feeling of uncertainty we must add the feeling of helplessness, of exposure to possible dangers and helplessness. Why? Because in children, magical thinking is much more frequent.

What is magical thinking?

Magical thinking is a way of thinking that is based on assuming that reality includes entities capable of transforming or adopting forms that we confuse with inanimate objects and that, therefore, surround us without us realizing it, sometimes directing our destinies or simply influencing what happens to us in a different way. hint.

It is ultimately based on place a purposeful entity behind the events that occur, since we still don't understand how it works around us.

So what's scary is not so much the darkness itself, as the fact that through the protection it offers, children are far from the protection of adults and they can fall victim to the misdeeds of any “monster” or malicious entity.

• You may be interested: "Magical thinking: causes, functions and examples"

Educate children against the fear of the dark

Now that we understand a little better why there are children afraid of the dark, it is time to propose solutions. While it is very unlikely that overnight a child will go from being very afraid of the dark to not feeling any discomfort or a certain level of anxiety when staying in a place with low light, yes we can make that level of fear decrease a lot, enough so that it is not a problem significant.

1. Don't ridicule their fears

From the perspective of an adult, fear of the dark may seem absurd, but, as we have seen, for children it can make sense. For this reason, it is advisable not to laugh at these fears, although obviously nor do you have to show that there are reasons to have that fear.

The key is to show understanding and allow the little one in the house to explain his fears, feeling understood. If we laugh at those worries, we will only reaffirm that the fear of the dark is not alone and he doesn't have much protection against that feeling, but if he can express himself, that feeling of helplessness won't be there.

• You may be interested: "What is fear for?"

2. Regulates the pieces of fiction to which it is exposed

Obviously, if a child is regularly exposed to pieces of fiction that show monsters or assassins attacking in the dark, this idea will come to your mind more often. Supervising the series, videos and movies that a young child sees is positive if in doing so we help to prevent fears or misconceptions from arising in him that can harm him.

3. Don't use myths or fear of monsters to make him obey

Children's belief system, like anyone else's, is an interconnected whole. Therefore, it makes no sense to say that there is no reason to worry about the dark if at the same time you feed the fear of the "bogeyman" or the "bogeyman" who takes away the bad children. You have to maintain consistency..

4. Helps you go to sleep sleepy

The simple act of going to sleep and not going through fearful experiences for a significant amount of time makes the little ones more accustomed to the dark, because they know that they have been in the dark many times and without having adopted any “special defensive measure”, no monster has attacked them.

So some tricks you can use is to make sure they don't look at screens or bright light sources for two or three hours before going to sleep, who actually get to bed when they're sleepy, and who haven't been exercising right before.

5. If you have a pet, get them involved.

The protection offered by a pet such as a cat or a dog can be an intermediate step between the constant protection of parents and absolute autonomy. In any case, it is much preferable to an adult standing at the foot of the bed “standing guard”, a fact that only reinforces the fear by making the moments when you are alone stand out more.