What does it mean to live in the present?
It is inevitable to resort, on more than one occasion, to our past. It is all the way that has brought us to where we are, for better or for worse. It is also normal that, in a more or less adaptive way, we think about the future, thinking about how to evolve a situation over which we have no control.
The problem arises when we focus too much on moments that don't really exist. The past is past, and the future has not yet come. We cannot allow them to take control of our lives, which is happening now.
Many people wonder what it means to live in the present, a question with a complex answer. Next we will try to give one, in addition to talking about how to do it.
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What does it mean to live in the present? A summary
The past gives us identity and experiences, which mark our personality and knowledge. However, that past is not a slab that we must carry all day. We are what we are doing now to improve what we were.
This is the healthy attitude that we should take in relation to our present, which is the only real moment that we are living.
The past is just memories, and the future is just hypothetical scenarios., that they will come, if they have to come.Our actions, our thoughts, our present is what makes us who we are. Let's do more and worry less! Living in the present becomes an imperative in a society where we constantly eat our brains out with things that really aren't that big of a deal.
Perhaps they are important, but we cannot do anything to them if we do not intend to take the bull by the horns and put in the means and Willingness to focus on being more adaptive, fulfilled, and happy.
That is why living in the present implies addressing those aspects of reality that are uncomfortable and we integrate them into our experience as part of a set of situations. changing: neither as elements of the past that we are condemned to drag along, nor obstacles with which we will have to deal only in the future, and of which we cannot have signs in the here and now. now. Precisely, accepting the present moment implies being able to face reality from a constructive mentality.
The past is past
The past acts by archiving all our experiences perceived as important. These experiences can be good, beneficial for learning, but they can also be fuel for worries and regrets.
It is said that the human being occupies 70% of his thought in thinking about past things, especially bad: the break with our partner, we did not study enough for an exam, we forgot to call our brother to congratulate him on his birthday… The past, badly handled, is what prevents us from living the present. What can be done is not to change the past, but to modify the present to resignify our memories and our material reality inherited from those events that have already happened.
It has happened to all of us on more than one occasion that, while we are working, studying, playing sports or whatever, Suddenly, recurring thoughts, flashbacks of situations that are really unpleasant.
We stop focusing on what we are doing and focus, over and over again, on remembering those bad experiences. What good is all this? Why live again, even if in an imagined way, that? Are we going to magically change it by thinking a lot about it?
We may regret bad things we did, or the simple fact of not trying our dreams. We wanted to study English, but we dropped out of the course, we wanted to get fit, but in the closet sports clothes, we wanted to tell a girl or a boy to go out, but we we shut up... we wanted many things, but none we did. AND we return to martyr ourselves for what we did not do, unconsciously believing that if we thought about it in the past but didn't do it, we never will. Lie. Never say Never.
It's time to live the here and now
Only those who don't try fail. Try to live in the present, do it with new experiences, change the way of thinking and, in In short, putting the focus of attention on what we see, hear, feel and do is the key to happiness.
Now is the time we can make changes in our life, not the past. It is now that we can choose how to feel, how to think, and how to act. The present is what exists and, as an existing entity, we can control it. The past and the future are things that are not there, that already/still do not exist.
When we are able to focus our attention on the present, our mind is freed from past or future negative thoughts. When the conception of what we are is based on bad memories, things that, hopefully, we would not have experienced, we live in continuous suffering. For that reason we must accept our past as a learning, not as a determinant of our present.
learn to enjoy the moment
Happiness is lived in the moment, not in the past, nor in the future. We may have been happy in the past, and we may be happy in the future, but the past has already been, and the future has not yet come. Let's focus on the present, because happiness occurs at that moment.
One of the factors that contributes to manifesting psychopathology, especially of the depressive and anxiety type, is not being able to stop paying attention to things that cannot be changed, basically the past and the future. What we can change, what can bring us benefit and pleasure is the present, if we have time and the occasion allows it.
Living in the now is not an easy thing. It requires progressive learning, generating the habit of focusing on the now, focusing on what we are experiencing, preventing our minds from become scattered and have too many temptations thinking all kinds of thoughts that lead to bad past experiences and worries about the future.
It is not that we should stop worrying, forgive the redundancy, that we worry about the past or the future. The human being is an intelligent animal, with the ability to foresee what he has to do and consider what options are available to him. It is our nature, as beings with developed thinking, to think what is going to happen to us, and focus our cognitive resources and skills in search of the hypothetical situation.
The past, made up of the experiences lived and the lessons learned from them, is the guide that helps us to consider how to proceed. The problem is that, as our mind is made, if we are too neurotic or obsessive, this is what generates many emotional imbalances.
Both the past and the future are two things that we do not control, that is why it causes us so much anguish, although let us rationally know that we cannot change the past and the future is something that will come, regardless of our concern.
The importance of Mindfulness
Living in the present does not only mean stopping thinking about the past or the future. It is also learning to make the most of the here and now, to enjoy it, to be fully aware of it. Focusing on every detail, whether it's the music we're listening to, the taste of the tea we're drinking, its temperature, the aroma of the room... In short, learn to enjoy present situations, involving our body and our ability to perceive, trying to see the good things around us.
Mindfulness is one of the techniques that has been gaining more popularity in the field of psychology, something that is not surprising, since it allows you to reach a state of full awareness of the current moment, which is, basically, learning to live the Present. We engage our minds in the here and now, no matter what else.
Although the name of the technique is modern, its roots are quite deep, based on doctrines Buddhist philosophical beliefs, seeing the experience of the present moment as an inexhaustible source of knowledge.
When thinking about the present, as long as it is pleasant, the person can significantly reduce their stress levels. In relation to what we have already discussed previously, what is the use of remembering an unpleasant event in the past? What's the point of worrying about something that hasn't happened yet? Through Mindfulness, a state of relaxation is achieved, a state in which the only thing that matters is what we are experiencing now, in the place where we find ourselves.
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How to learn to live in the present?
One of the basic principles of Mindfulness is to accept everything we have now, without evaluating or judging how good or how bad it is. Present experiences are accepted, just as they are, just as they come, without saying that such a thing is positive or such another is negative.
This is especially helpful for negative emotions, such as sadness, grief, or impulsiveness. Accepting these negative emotions, without dwelling on the fact that they are, they lose their force. They are there, like the flame in the fireplace on a winter afternoon. We can either try to pour water on the flame, which, although it may surprise, will enliven it, or we can take a chair, sit close to the heat, look at the flame and accept that it is there, letting it be the time that extinguish.
After having lived the emotional part of the experience, it is time to interpret it. Let's stop for a moment thinking about what we have felt, and why we have felt it. Was it worth feeling this way? Was it that serious? How has the unpleasantness gone? How are we going to act? Before deciding to take the next step, it is worth reflecting, since impulsiveness is never a good counselor.
To live in the present it is necessary to accept that there are things that we will not be able to control. It is true that, through a change of thought and taking actions, we are building our present. If we want to do something, like get in shape, learn a language or recover a friendship, there is no better way than to get down to work.
However, there are things that we can never control, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, wanting to control absolutely everything, as if our reality were a mechanical device in which you can control the movement of all the gears, levers and parts, it is a crass error. It is the worst way of trying to live in the present, generating tension and stress. You have to stop the flow of circumstances, like the waters of a river.
Bibliographic references:
- Brantley, J. (2007). Calm anxiety. Discover how mindfulness and compassion can free you from fear and anguish. Ed. Oniro.
- Dennett, D. (1991). Consciousness Explained. Boston: Little & Company.
- Didonna F. (2011). Mindfulness Clinical Manual. Desclee de Brouwer.
- Hassed Craig and Chambers, Richard (2014). Mindful learning: reduce stress and improve brain performance for effective learning. Exile Publishing.
- Tang, Y.Y.; Holzel, B.K.; Posner, M.I. (2015). The neuroscience of mindfulness meditation. Nature Reviews. Neuroscience. 16(4): PP. 213 - 225.
- Velmans, M. (2009). How to define consciousness—and how not to define consciousness. Journal of Consciousness Studies. 16:pp. 139 - 156.