When transgression is the way: the route to well-being

All the time we are told that we should chase our dreams. And paradoxically, in the same sentence the word "duty" is hidden.

A dream is something private that only each one of us creates according to wishes, hopes, models and fantasies that we keep and put together since we were children. Some are more conventional than others: get married, study, or pursue a career (if it can be successful, the better). Are those only the dreams, the projects or the desires to achieve in life?

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What is a longing?

Craving is the internal desire to achieve something. In its etymology yearning implies "breathing with difficulty".

It can be thought that a wish or a wish is that which, during the process of its fulfillment, prevents us from breathing calmly. A yearning under these terms is that which makes us suffer, that proposes a difficulty to overcome. I disagree with the first part, and this is what the article is about.

Many times we face dreams that are not our own, or that simply have a part of them colored by "what should be", for what they are expected to be over time, and not so much for what we really want. To yearn for something is to dare to

much more than just getting results.

Life offers us situations that do not come easy to us. and those, above all, are those that surround what we call desires. As if the simple and easy wishes or achievements did not have the same value as the costly and sacrificed ones. "With suffering and a lot of effort, dreams are achieved," says popular knowledge.

Give entity to this concept that runs comfortably through our veins, product of cultural teachings transmitted innocently from the family itself, from society, containing in its essence the value of sacrifice, should not be considered the result of a wish.

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A constant process

Desires are wonderful entities, and I say so because they have weight and corporeality within us. Living with desires guarantees us living itself and existence. When we lose the desire for something, for someone and consequently for ourselves, life moves away to give way to darkness and fear. It makes us small and defenseless.

Therefore, it is not about having great desires only, but several and continuous. I want it to be a good day, to find the love I'm looking for, to be able to get up every morning wishing for something more, or to achieve that job that I love so much, and continue wishing. Wanting to be a good leader, understand my team from empathy and be able to transmit and dissolve those unnecessary sacrifices. Those are all desires, and they are not measurable.

This is why we must be transgressors, but not in the adolescent way where I take risks for ideals without measuring the consequences; we must be adult transgressors, getting out of the established, but evaluating the paths and consequences of our actions. A dream without a method is a dangerous chimera.

what dreams they imply strength and passion, but not sacrifice. If we think about it from this angle, the obstacle that comes our way will only be one more of many, and it will be our choice to continue or not. It is in that decision where the sacrifice drowns and we become addicted to dreaming and pursuing our ideals.

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The importance of knowing how to deviate from the established path

Let us be transgressors of the comfort zone, of the norms that do not correspond to us, of the values ​​that others taught, and let's analyze what we really want, not to show, or to have the fleeting and volatile recognition of the outside.

Let's focus on every little dream that makes us happy. Let us vindicate the value of seeing our children grow up on the path of freedom of internal choice, let us see them deciding their future and not thrown into it. Let's remember the full feeling of when we were able to say what cost us so much. Let's breathe slowly, when we evoke that job change that nobody recommended.

When we verify that maturity and internal well-being depend on us, on being adult transgressors and trained to be happy, which is about learning to prioritize, we will undoubtedly discover that happiness is closer than we think.

Believe in each small achievement, do not think of it as a sacrifice and do not focus on what it costs you to travel that path, see it as steps that bring you closer to where you want to go or what you want to achieve; do not focus on the result, look at the time and dedication you offer to your dream, and if it doesn't turn out as expected, understand that there is no single way to achieve it. Be plastic, flexible to the result. The value is found in you, there is one of the secret forms of true well-being.

To feel good, you learn. You don't have to do it alone, just bring your dreams.