Do long-distance relationships work?

New technologies make us feel more connected and closer to each other, an aspect that It can be helpful for couples who, for whatever reason, have had to separate spatially.

However, the bad reputation of long-distance relationships is widely known, perceived as relationships with a high probability of ending up failing. After all, physical contact is a crucial element in relationships, and distance prevents it.

Can long-distance relationships work, are they viable? This is a question with an extensive answer that we will present below.

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Can long distance relationships work?

Many couples feel great concern when they see that, for whatever reason, they must spend some time away from each other. Not all people are clear about whether long-distance relationships can work, and it is not surprising because we are hardly prepared to handle this situation. Also, distance and love are two things that do not go well together.

Geographical separation is something that usually harms love because it requires an important ingredient: physical closeness. Two people who love each other strengthen their relationship through caresses, kisses and hugs, that is, physical contact. To date, no technology has been able to send these expressions of physical affection, so distance is an impediment physical to be able to give and receive such samples of physical contact and, consequently, receive the shot of oxytocin, the famous hormone of the love.

When a couple has to deal with physical distance, it is almost inevitable that the foundations of the relationship will shake. The new situation implies changes in the relational dynamics, forcing the members of the couple to adapt to new circumstances in order to maintain the relationship. It is not impossible. We already anticipated that long-distance relationships they can work, but for this it is necessary to adapt well to the new situation. If not, the relationship will be doomed to failure.

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Factors that determine the success of the distance relationship

If face-to-face love relationships are complicated, distance relationships are even more so. As we mentioned, they can work, but not without investing a great effort, being constant and taking into account certain factors that determine the success of the relationship. Among them the most notable are the following.

1. separation time

The time of separation is a factor that determines a lot if the long-distance relationship is going to work, probably the one that most. It is not the same to be separated for a couple of months than to do it for several years or, worse still, indefinitely. The more time they spend apart, the more likely it is that the members of the couple will consider why they need to stay together.

2. Geographic distance

Geographical distance is another very important factor. In some cases, no matter how long the lovers spend apart, if they live relatively close they can make a trip of a few hours to have a moment in person together. In other cases, where the distance is measured in countries and continents or with oceans in between, it becomes a very disturbing factor in the relationship.

3. relationship stage

The stage in which the relationship is also determines its success in the face of distance. It is not the same as a couple that has just started, where there is hardly anything serious, with a very weak commitment but a very intense desire to be physically together, that a couple's relationship of years in which there was a project of life together and where physical contact has taken a secondary priority.

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4. Member Maturity

As the last determining factor of the success of the distance relationship, we find the maturity of its members. If both are mature people, with empathy, emotional stability and clear ideas, the relationship can work.

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Characteristics of successful long-distance relationships

In couples with long-distance relationships that work, we can find a series of characteristics that are the key to their success.

1. Confident attitude about long-distance relationships

It is essential that, for a long-distance relationship to be successful, its members cfully trust that the relationship will work no matter how much physical separation there is.

2. More sensuality than sexuality

It is clear that physical distance prevents traditional sexuality. Although it is a major obstacle to the relationship, this does not necessarily mean that the couple will end up breaking up. Given the inability to have physical contact in long-distance relationships, what should be done is to make sexuality go into the background and replace it with sensuality.

This sensuality becomes a very good way to keep the passion alive between the couple which, combined with sexting or sending erotic messages, can serve very well as a workaround to not miss sexual encounters so much.

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3. Fewer discussions

The distance makes relationships become more fragile, so couple arguments become more serious. What has made a couple living in the same city fight for a day, in a long-distance relationship can become what breaks it. Not being able to discuss things directly and clearly in person makes the smallest matter to discuss become a great threat.

Successful long-distance relationships know this very well and, therefore, try to maintain serenity, reducing arguments as much as possible. If any arise, both lovers do their best to resolve the argument, trying to understand what the other party meant and playing it down. It is not worth fighting when you are thousands of miles apart.

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4. Common interest

The greater the interests between the members of the couple, the more solid the relationship will be and the more impervious it will be to threats from a distance. Sharing interests, values ​​and tastes are strengthening aspects of the relationship, both at a distance and in person.

Problems that harm the relationship

We have seen the factors that influence the success of the relationship and, also, what are the characteristics of long-distance relationships that work. Now, we are going to know what are the problems that can end the relationship.

1. jealousy and insecurities

The insecurities and jealousy They are a big problem in all kinds of relationships, the origin of many conflicts. This type of behavior can generate thoughts of mistrust towards the relationship, believing that it is doomed to failure. It is essential to solve jealousy and build trust in the couple so that the long-distance relationship works.

2. arguments and fights

In any type of relationship, it is pleasant to have fights and arguments, often as a result of problems in the couple's communication. The best way to avoid them is precisely to improve communication, speak openly and assertively about the relationship but using an appropriate tone and being clear to prevent the other person from taking a criticism or comment as an attack, if this is necessary.

And very important: if you have to talk about something serious, you should resort to phone calls or conferences. Written messages can lead to confusion and misunderstandings no matter how written they are, in addition, the tone of the message is very freely interpretable, making the receiver understand it in as many ways as one can imagine.

3. Loneliness

The feeling of loneliness due to distance is difficult to bear and has a very negative effect on the emotions of both members of the couple. To combat this feeling it is necessary to make an effort on the part of both and keep in touch regularly, at least once a week and taking into account the time difference if there is one. Constant communication is the best way to combat loneliness due to distance in the relationship.

How do you know if a long distance relationship is working?

Distance can confuse us, but fortunately, there are a few signs that the relationship is really working, despite the obstacle of physical separation.

you feel loved

If you feel loved by your partner despite not being physically by your side, it is a good sign.. Feeling that he loves and supports us is an indication that the relationship is on the right track.

you miss each other

If you feel like talking to your partner, anxiously waiting for the time to talk and see each other by video call, it means that the magic of love and desire are still alive. Longing is a good sign that the relationship is going well. The opposite, not wanting or seeing you, is worrying.

conclusion

Long-distance relationships work as long as both lovers trust the relationship, talk openly about what feel, avoid discussions and maintain fluid and constant communication to talk about the state of the relationship. The time apart, the distance, the degree of maturity and the stage of the relationship determine the degree of success of it. Arguments, jealousy and the feeling of loneliness increase the risk that the relationship will end up failing.