How to remove feelings of guilt from unconditional acceptance

The most effective way to eliminate feelings of guilt is to ask yourself: what can I do now criticizing and judging myself for a past attitude or decision? What am I going to solve or gain by judging myself?

Many people fall into the mistake of thinking that if they do not feel guilty for something bad or more or less bad they did are bad people, so they make an effort to judge themselves until they get it and then they feel worse.

They think that by feeling bad about judging themselves they are going to remedy something. Judging you will not solve anything, on the contrary, it will make you feel like the worst and most despicable human being.

Here lies the irrational of the "should" and "should". I should have told him this or done that! why I did not do it? I should act differently, I should be more… Why am I like this?

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

Feeding a pessimistic internal dialogue

If in your internal dialogue you are having these kinds of conversations with your "I", and also project a mental video of what you should have done and not you did, your brain will encourage the generation in high amounts of molecules such as cortisol, adrenaline and others linked to stress and anxiety. anxiety.

Given this experience, you will feel sad, anxious, depressed, wanting to cry (or in very extreme cases, even ending your life) because the feeling of guilt will be greater and greater.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to go back in time and do what you wish you had done.

Remember that at that moment, according to your level of consciousness, surely that was the best decision you could have made. Perhaps you acted impulsively, were angry or under the influence of certain psychoactive substances, and still did not there is justification that makes you feel better because your mind got used to projecting that movie of making you feel guilty.

Answer these questions:

• How many perfect people who have not made mistakes do you know?
• When did you make that decision that you regret today, for what purpose did you do it?
• What result do you want to achieve by blaming yourself?

• You may be interested: "Self-knowledge: definition and 8 tips to improve it"

The keys to prevent guilt from paralyzing you

Surely you made that decision or acted in such a way because at that time it was the most prudent thing you could do, but if something did not go well, remember that you were not and are not a clairvoyant. You didn't know what was going to happen, and if you had, you probably would have made a different decision.

Now you only have the experience of knowing that you gave your best, but somehow that didn't work out. Be proud of who you are, because only someone who allows himself to feel and be aware of his shortcomings can improve. Nothing is going to change if you constantly blame yourself for situations that stem from your behavior; the best thing is to accept it and let it go so that in this way you feel peace and have the freedom to face your problems.

So… What to do to manage the feeling of guilt?

1. change the focus

Just change focus think about what you want most right now, something you try to achieve in the future; imagine it in all its richness of detail, think about how you will feel when you achieve what you are visualizing. If you are feeling better, you can take this experience as a motivating element to focus your attention on him and make it easy for you to take action.

• Related article: "Cognitive schemes: how is our thinking organized?"

2. ask yourself the key question

Ask yourself what makes you good or good. It can be a skill, an achievement, a triumph or a goal that you achieved; add to this that you did good things for another person, you will see that not everything is bad. Maybe you've only been seeing everything bad because your focus is there; When you change your focus and focus on what makes you a good person, that feeling of guilt will disappear.

• You may be interested: "The 10 types of values: principles that govern our lives"

3. acceptance of your imperfections

Accept unconditionally that you are not perfect, that no one is., and that it is not the end of the world if you made a mistake (you will be able to continue living and enjoying your life, it will not be a limiting factor unless you decide so). Remember that everyone makes mistakes by default.

Remember that every emotional problem has a solution under the criteria of unconditional acceptance and sensoperception. It is not a misfortune to make mistakes, it is learning.

Living is an art, learn to be an artist.