5 tricks so that negative comments do not bother you so much

Those of us who live in most Western countries live in an environment in which there are two circumstances that, combined, can cause our self-esteem to be damaged relatively frequency.

On the one hand, we are immersed in an individualistic culture, in which the ego is given great importance and we are told over and over again that we must be “the best of ourselves”.

On the other hand, it is quite normal for people to criticize others not to help them or provide another constructive point of view, but to undermine their prestige. or their public image, causing their "value" to decrease and oneself to be able to climb socially at the expense of the person attacked, by generating an illusion of triumph against she.

So, in this article we will review a series of tricks to not letting the negative comments directed at you by others affect you and annoy you a lot.

• Related article: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

5 tips and tricks to avoid suffering so much from negative comments

Even those with stable self-esteem can feel their day ruined by listening to certain criticisms or malicious comments that we feel “hit the nail on the head” or exploit our insecurities.

To a certain extent, it is normal for us to experience this when living in these kinds of situations, and of course, we should not propose to totally block the emotional impact that these attacks have on us, because that would only lead us to the frustration. But as always happens in psychology, that we cannot control the behavior of others does not mean that we have no room for maneuver when deciding the attitude we show towards those actions. Those kinds of reproaches and poisonous comments will hurt us, but they don't have to destroy our self-esteem. and generate in us intrusive thoughts that last for several hours.

So… How to deal with negative comments? These tips can be useful guidelines to help you deal with these kinds of problems.

1. Go writing a diary of emotions

Being in touch with your feelings and emotions is a way to maintain a more stable self-esteem. And it is that several investigations carried out about what in psychology is known as emotional labeling shows that putting into words what makes us feel anguish or insecurity helps us overcome it, not to let us give it more importance than it really has. Therefore, writing daily about the most significant moments of the previous hours in terms of how you have felt is a very good way to ensure your mental health. Of course, do not get used to writing a lot each time or you will end up stopping doing it due to lack of time.

• You may be interested: "How to make a diary of emotions, step by step and with examples"

2. Do a SWOT periodically

In a complementary way to the previous advice, carry out a brief SWOT analysis (focused on you and your way of behaving) with a certain frequency, such as once a month, also It will help you to be aware of your limitations and stop seeing them as something that feeds on your complexes.. In addition, it will allow you to be able to see opportunities in how to compensate or remedy them as much as possible.

On the other hand, this strategy will also help you to be aware at all times of what imperfections and failures of your own are truly important to you and which ones really matter to you. generate indifference. And it is that the "impact" that the moment someone criticizes us produces in us can mean that if we have our guard down and without having thought about it, Let's assume that what that person mocks or criticizes is something that reveals very negative things about us, when in reality many times we don't even matter.

• Related article: "Personal SWOT Matrix: what it is, parts, and how to do it"

3. Always analyze the intention behind those comments

Negative comments usually say more about the person making them than about the recipient of the criticism. Therefore, taking into account that aspect of the criticism and attacks that you receive allows to contextualize the message and give it a relative importance: It is not a piece of information conceived and expressed in an objective and neutral way.

4. Aim to find at least one piece of useful information in each comment.

Focusing on this little mission will allow you to focus on the moment and not limit yourself to experiencing the unpleasant emotions that these kinds of experiences generate. For example, if you believe that there is a grain of truth in those criticisms, staying with that information will make intuitively direct your attention to how you can use it in the future to improve, which is a much more constructive.

• Related article: "Emotional stability: what it is and how to enhance and develop it in yourself"

5. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you

This, in addition to being a basic principle of mental health in general, will allow you to be in contact with more benign and positive versions of criticism that can come to you from others, which greatly cushions the blow produced by an eventual negative comment formulated in the form of unfair criticism.

Do you want to have professional psychological assistance?

If you are looking for psychotherapy services, I invite you to contact me.

My name is Javier Ares and I put at your disposal my experience as a psychologist specializing in mood, anxiety and relationship problems. Sessions can be face-to-face or online.