What mindset runs your life?

We are accustomed to move through life on autopilot. I always tell that I realized this in my own life one day when I took the car and drove 20 km down the road without realizing it. When I arrived at the destination and parked, I felt like I had been teleported there, I didn't remember anything about my trip.

That day I left home worried, with doubts, and with many tasks to do.

I'm sure it happened to you too. Think of all the days that slipped through your hands without savoring them, just surviving all your obligations.

I imagine our modern mind as a race car track. In this maelstrom there is no space between stimulus and response. And yet, to stop putting out fires and start living with well-being, what we have to do is precisely pause and slow down our frantic march. We can adopt a mentality that invites us to do our daily tasks from a place of enjoyment and exploration, and with confidence in us since we always know how to manage to overcome obstacles and continue ahead.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

What is the fixed mindset?

The term “mindset” was coined by Dr. Carol Dweck in her growth mindset and fixed mindset theory. A person with a fixed mindset thinks that he is born with certain abilities and IQ. This person is going to be motivated to look smart, so he's going to do everything in his power to prove it. He is not going to risk out of his comfort zone because he fears being wrong. He will feel scared when he sees other people succeed because he will see it as a threat to their own chances of moving forward.

This person will work until exhaustion in the areas that he considers that he is good at things (in his work, in his studies, or in sports). The look of the other influences him a lot, because he needs to feel that he has "passed" his evaluation. He is a ruthless person with himself also because his inflexibility causes him to have perfectionistic and controlling tendencies. For this reason, he cannot bear an opinion that he perceives as negative because he finds it demoralizing.

If you feel identified with any of this, I clarify that we all have a bit of this mentality and that we all also have a bit of the growth mindset. Let me explain how the latter is and then we will see how they influence our quality of life.

• You may be interested: "Cognition: definition, main processes and functioning"

What is growth mindset?

A person with a growth mindset has a very strong intrinsic desire to learn. His mentality is agile and ductile. He understands that if he doesn't know about something, he can learn it, and that the important thing is to cheer up, play, and have fun with what he has to practice until he masters it.

This person he loves challenges and is committed to your personal growth. He listens carefully to the suggestions he receives because he understands that they are a great way to improve.

A person with a growth mindset will fall in the way of what they undertake, but will have the perseverance to get up and take it as a lesson on your journey. The success of others inspires him because he will see it as a sign that if others could do it, he can too.

I insist, we oscillate between one mentality and the other depending on the occasion. However, I would dare to say that our culture, our educational system, and society in general, do not see new challenges, or the success of others, or mistakes, as an opportunity.

That is why we grow up feeling like we're not good enough When we face difficulties that are difficult for us to solve, we doubt our ability and we can become very ruthless with ourselves. We demand ourselves, we punish ourselves, and we alienate ourselves in the making machine to prove our worth.

• Related article: "How to learn from mistakes: 9 effective tips"

To do?

It is for all of the above that it is important first detect what mentality is directing our lives so that later we learn to relate to it in such a way that we are more present in our daily activities, and that we learn to treat ourselves well and live more lucidly. This is the first step towards our well-being.

In the example I gave you about myself at the beginning, the first thing that comes to mind is a great desire to hug the overwhelmed I of that moment. I'd whisper to myself that no one will be disappointed if I'm a few minutes late, that everything will be fine. because I have given my best, and that if there is a setback I will overcome the situation with ingenuity as forever. It would also suggest that I have to learn to set limits and prioritize because I cannot take on more than my human strengths can do.

Ask yourself: Am I afraid to fail? What can happen if I do? Am I afraid of what others will say about me? How can I differentiate and learn from who tells me something constructive and who doesn't? Do I need to control everything? What can I delegate?

Once you are aware of what mindset is running your life, you can re-educate yourself to relate in a more tolerant way with yourself, with what you have to do, and with others. From a serene place you can always redirect your actions.

Give yourself more peace of mind, one action at a time, one day at a time and you will see how you find joy in the little things in life, and in learning to navigate life's challenges more skillfully and with an eye on yourself and not on the world. outside.