The impact of infidelity on couple ties

When infidelity is present in a love bond, it generates in it a crisis or conflict with rupture of the pre-established agreements. These crises are accompanied by intense anxiety and anguish, something that can devastate the bond.

Although infidelity has varied interpretations in each of the members of the couples, we know that it is associated with emotions that accompany, such as indifference, fear of abandonment, anger, anxieties, feelings of injustice, anguish, mistrust, feelings of loneliness...

• Related article: "The 9 types of infidelity and their characteristics"

How to continue when this is present?

Infidelity is a complex process that occurs within a relationship, a loving-affective bond; it is the consequence of a number of factors that surely determine it: sexual, family, social, etc.

When situations of infidelity in the couple are present, the rupture of what had been pre-established at some point in the bond is generated; this rupture generates a crack between both, being difficult to repair in some cases

, generating in its continuity mistrust, ideas of control, guilt, comparisons and conflicts.

Infidelity is diverting your gaze and attention to another person or situation outside the bond. This may be due to several reasons, depending on each couple and the interpretation given to it.

triggers of infidelity

Sometimes, couples lose well-being in their routine. The monotony or the absence of sensations in the day to day certain stimuli that at first were present may facilitate that any of the members, volunteer or unwittingly, start a search outside, interpreting that these stimuli cannot be recovered with their partner.

There are patients who manifest in therapies that looking outside the bond has generated new sensations, both physical and emotional. emotional, such as having internal movements or sensations again, feeling attracted, being looked at, liked, heard, etc. This may be due to the pleasure-generating hormones that are present in these cases.

Infidelity is accompanied, in some cases, by indifference in the couple, the feeling of not being taken into account, ignored. And this causes a lot of pain to those who go through it.

On the other hand, it has been proven that people with unfaithful traits have certain structures in their personality, usually being very jealous people, with very low self-esteem traits, insecure, needing to be looked at and liked by others.

• You may be interested: "How to overcome a couple crisis: 6 useful tips"

Can the bond be restored when infidelity crosses it?

Making aware of the circumstances that led one of the members to break the agreement would give him the potential to try to repair it, it is not about justifying what happened but about recognize what it was that mobilized or lacked in the current link to put the gaze and attention on the outside.

Being honest in those matters that are felt internally, firstly with oneself and then with those who share life and the bond, being able to put into words in the couple what are the things that begin to generate discomfort, habituation or lack of sensations, and can also generate new proposals in the link, new forms between the two, sustaining the foundation as a base affective.

@image (id)

Understand that life is a constant movement, that we are constantly evolving and changing, advancing in evolutionary stages and learning from them, causes new learning and constant processes to be incorporated. Thus, at each stage it is likely that the needs and desires that are crossed are also different and this does not imply lack of love in all cases.

The absence of speech affects the sufferer and the couple, who unaware of the new needs that are being put into play. This will provide both the creation of new agreements, new relationship formats, leaving both members in the absolute freedom to be able to choose to stay or withdraw from the bond if the agreement could not recover.

That honesty, that putting into words, with the responsibility that the affective bond represents, is from where you can choose permanence or separation. If you do not explain what is happening, you will not be able to modify related issues, with silence being the main protagonist.

When for some reason what you feel cannot be put into words, the support of a professional may be necessary to help with active listening, neutral and objective to process what is happening.

Couples therapy is a registration space between both members, feeling accompanied to navigate the difficulties that arise and that cannot be managed within the bond.

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

To remind…

Saying what you are feeling honestly and genuinely may or may not please the listener, but it may also gives you the freedom to choose to remain or leave the link if you wish, responsibly, this being the most important thing.