How to overcome the fear of talking on the phone?

For many people, talking on the phone is a particularly complex interaction. In addition, today many people show a preference for using other types of communication channels other than the telephone, such as instant messaging applications.

This preference for messages and the avoidance of making calls does not necessarily mean that you suffer from an anxiety problem, although in some cases both things may be related. If this aversion to the phone is accompanied by other symptoms such as nausea, sweating, palpitations, or other signs of anxiety, it may be a social phobia. So that, Let's see how to overcome the fear of talking on the phone.

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Characteristics of the fear of talking on the phone

Fear of talking on the phone, in its most severe form, is recognized as a branch of social anxiety disorder. People who suffer from social anxiety disorder have an excruciating panic in different social situations. where they may feel judged, these anxiety-triggering situations include making calls telephone.

Fear of talking on the phone it is not something new derived from new communication behaviors, although these have often masked the problem, and has affected different people in all countries at different times.

The specific fear of talking on the phone has a specific term in psychology: telephonophobia, and in this case it is part of the specific phobias.

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telephonophobia

A specific phobia is defined as an intense and persistent pathological fear that appears in the face of specific situations. In the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), like the rest of social phobias related to public speaking, would be within the category of "non-generalized social phobia".

However, the pathological fear of talking on the phone often presents as a symptom of generalized social phobia. This disorder is a more serious disorder and manifests itself as extreme anxiety in different situations. social, which can range from speaking in public, to avoiding the use of public toilets, to driving or going shopping shopping. Any situation where the person with social phobia feels that they can be evaluated in a certain way can trigger anxiety and all its symptoms.

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Other causes

In some situations, anxiety about talking on the phone may stem from disorders other than an anxiety disorder, such as speech disorders; a person who suffers from stuttering may not feel comfortable talking on the phone and avoid a call at all costs. On the other hand, there are times when this anxiety or phobia can stem from irrational beliefs, such as the negative health consequences of exposure to electromagnetic waves.

Whatever its origin, the inability to talk on the phone is directly related to mental health, causing anxiety and avoidance behaviors.

In its less severe forms, it is common for many people to feel uncomfortable or a little anxious about this type of social interaction.

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What to do to overcome the fear of the phone?

The most effective way to combat the fear of calling, as in other types of situations, is exposure. Exposure therapy is a technique commonly used by psychotherapists to help people overcome their fears and anxieties, breaking the pattern of fear and avoidance caused by the object or situation. A safe environment is created for the patient in which to "expose" them to the things they fear and avoid. This exposure helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance.

In this case, the phone call should be thought of as the object of exposure, the more calls you make, the safer you will feel to make another.

Cognitive restructuring technique can also be used, which consists of the patient, with the help of the therapist, identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause the anxious behavior. These are replaced by more appropriate thoughts with the aim of reducing or eliminating the emotional upset.

In this case, the objective is to strategically modify the way of thinking about the call, and all the thoughts about feeling judging, or being nosy, also playing down fear, being wrong or making a mistake, we would not be the last, nor the first.

The coping strategy can be progressive, we can start by keeping calls with people we know and are aware of our problem, or with strangers who do not we will see again; Some people find it easier to talk to customer services and make formal, structured calls. Difficulty may also have to do with duration, we can start with short calls of no more than three minutes and gradually increase the time. The key is to start small and work from low to high anxiety level.

Why do calls generate anxiety?

Telephone calls have a series of characteristics that make them elements that are likely to cause fear and anxiety in certain people. Knowing them is important to face this fear.

1. are difficult to interpret

Phone calls are part of social interactions. The difference with other types of face-to-face communication is that telephone calls are non-verbal communications, and it is difficult to interpret what the other person is thinking. As we know, a large percentage of communication is non-verbal, according to Albert Mehrabian, the communication in charge of transmitting states and attitudes would occupy 65% ​​of the communication between two people.

In telephone calls there is only the voice, how can we know if someone is playing a joke on us or criticizing us if we do not have the smile that accompanies the speech? It is not only a matter of perception, since in the case of the call there may also be interference in the sound, it is also a matter of interpretation. In a call it is more difficult to understand what the other person is saying, but it is also more difficult to know what the person thinks of what we say.

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2. Telephone interaction demands immediate responses

if we think about it, text messages also have all the shortcomings of non-verbal communication, but they don't cause as much anxiety, it is a time problem. Phone calls demand an instant response. For many people, talking on the phone is a particularly complex interaction, you have to think about things on the go and you have to respond to what someone is saying to you at that very moment, unlike text messages where you have time to to think. In the phone call every word counts, you can retract what was said, but not erase it. Silences can be misunderstood by people with anxiety.

3. calls are intrusive

Related to the problem of immediacy is the problem of intrusiveness. While with a message we assume that the person will answer us when he wants, with a call you feel like you interrupt and you have to find the time to make it. People who are afraid to talk on the phone may feel like they're intruding before they even make the call.

4. In the call we are the center of attention

On the one hand, we can feel the focus of attention more on ourselves or on the people around us than in the person with whom we are talking on the phone, in the case of making the call in front of others people. Being in a phone call we cannot pay visual attention to the person with whom we are speaking.

However, the most frequent thing is that the anxiety derived from talking on the phone is not the responsibility of the people around us, because in that case it would be enough to call from somewhere private. As for other types of social phobias, the problem is in feeling judged by our interlocutor.

We do not like to be evaluated by other people. It is the same anxiety that we feel when speaking in public, having a conversation with a superior, or facing some other situation that requires evaluation or that we think requires it, since in reality we are constantly evaluating situations and being evaluated. People who are afraid to talk on the phone feel that they may not be able to function well in that situation and fear that they will end up blocking or stammering.

People with social anxiety tend to pay close attention to themselves and their behaviors and obsessively make sure they're not doing something they feel is embarrassing. This self-centered behavior has consequences for the conversation, making it more difficult, if I I focus on myself and what happens to me, instead of what you ask me, obviously, it will cost me more answer you.

5. We're not used to making calls

The easiest explanation for it being difficult for us to call is that we are not used to doing so. This is the simplest reason, but not bad. As we have already said, telephone conversations have been replaced by another type of communication, especially among the youngest. The data shows that the types of pathologies that involve the fear of talking on the phone have increased considerably from boomers to millennials.

Part of the problem with facing a call is simply inexperience. The codes for the text messages and what the emoticons mean are known, but the code for the phone conversation is unknown. This seems unimportant, but it would be putting yourself in the situation of an older person who uses Instagram for the first time, does not know how to do it, the same goes for the phone call. You have to know how to greet, when it is our turn to speak, how to synthesize information or how to express a specific feeling only with the voice. As we can see, it is somewhat more complex than we think when we have it integrated, just like Instagram.