Imposter syndrome in women

Throughout our lives, at some point we begin to understand that no matter what we do, we will always have experiences beyond our control. Moments in which despite having planned a day or an event under the sensation of control that we can feel, circumstances come with the power to transform everything and turn it into a complete chaos.

How many times have we felt at the mercy of randomness? Sometimes we may feel that it is better to do nothing so as not to alter things. Now I ask you: Have you had thoughts like: "what if I hadn't said this or that", "what if I hadn't gone" or "what if I better shut up"? The answer will probably be a resounding yes; and it is normal, because our mind also likes to think of the different possibilities, the different “maps” to analyze which would be the best path to take. The problem lies in what happens if it is no longer just an analysis, but a self-sabotage. How do I stop my mind from playing those “bad tricks” on me?

Until now we can identify with those thoughts, but...

What happens when those thoughts are not only of doubt but are hostile to ourselves?

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several examples

We are in a work meeting and we present an opinion on any topic and we immediately tell ourselves how bad that sounded. We receive a promotion and feel that we don't deserve it, that we don't have the skills to face this new challenge. Or we are about to give an opinion and we tell ourselves how “gross” we are and that we are not worth enough, that there are more and better people for the job.

To those thoughts about how others exaggerate our abilities, the fear of being exposed as a fraud, the constant tendency to downplay our achievements, the doubt about our abilities and to hold luck and external factors responsible for the success or the goals achieved, is what we call the imposter syndrome.

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Characteristics of impostor syndrome

Imposter syndrome is so common that we know at least 70% of people will experience it at some point in their life, especially when you have a change in your environment or a promotion at work and we try It costs us to show ourselves that we can do it, but it ends up being a nothing attempt cash.

Thus, a large part of the population has experienced at least once in their life that time of thoughts or sensations, but it generates great curiosity in the case of women, since in them the thoughts are even greater. And let's keep in mind that in cases of women with business success they are a minority.

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What do we know about impostor syndrome in women?

Now more questions come to us: Why might women be more inclined to doubt their success? From a superficial point of view we can say that they are issues related to personal insecurities, but if we analyze a broader context it is possible to show that the factor of social pressure is decisive in which a person has impostor syndrome. And for women it is multiplied by adding the impact of racism, xenophobia, classism and other prejudices that generate emotional conflicts and mental health in general.

Now let's see everything that they have been teaching us lately about self love and the trust. We all must have both elements, because if not, we will fail. If we don't trust ourselves, who will? If you don't love yourself, you can't have relationships in which you are valued, and thus an experience as human as insecurity becomes pathologized, especially for women.

How many commercials, conferences or advertising pieces are aimed at strengthening confidence and self-esteem in women? How many times are they focused on self-confidence in men?

Secondly, the experience of professional growth is also different. For example: How many of the women you know have had their decisions, leadership style and ability to handle pressure, or sensitivity to issues questioned? How many of the women feel that each action aimed at knowing and having more experience takes them further away from feeling that they have the confidence of others?

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What can be done?

At psychologist.co, evidence-based interventions have shown us the power of language. What will it imply for a person to say that they have a syndrome? It will imply that there is something that is not right; however, something as normal as feeling insecure in the professional area is labeled as a syndrome. Do you notice how impostor syndrome is a concept that loses meaning when you see this context, which is also hostile and unkind to the daily attempts of women to stop being minimized or categorized in stereotypes?

Now, it is difficult for women in general to bear the consequences of culture; imagine what happens for those who are part of a minority, where through the hegemonic discourse in soap operas, radio, and news, the idea of ​​not belonging to certain roles or positions at the professional.

a single story

When an opportunity presents itself that is new to this person, even though they were told that it would never happen, the pressure can be greater and generate this feeling of insecurity. This is what Chimamanda Adichie calls "the danger of a single story". It turns out that being a writer from Nigeria, she only read English literature.

In those stories, the characters were blue-eyed, talked about the weather, and drank ginger beer, so in the stories she created when she was a girl her characters were based on these same characteristics because it was the only vision she had about the world, without realizing that in her reality there were characters with dark eyes, who didn't talk about the weather because it wasn't necessary or about ginger beer because it's not what they drank back in the day a day; then she came to the United States and her roommate was surprised because she, a person from Nigeria, she knew how to use the stove and listened to Rihanna, because it was the only story she was told about Nigeria. Note how we have been told a single story.

In the meantime, we are rewriting that history, creating other realities where outstanding achievement and career growth is possible, regardless of economic status, gender, and race. However, this implies continuing to live with a culture that still maintains these limitations.

Tips to consider

We know that we will not change the world from one moment to the next, which is why we bring some recommendations on how we can live with these consequences of culture and create friendlier environments with the growth of minorities and women.

Keep in mind that there are people who have high self-confidence; however, their abilities are not the same as people who show insecurity, note that it is the way we have been taught about success and that it is not always the only way to approach it. On the other hand, remember that your fears are part of our culture and context, so being self-compassionate will help. For this, when you feel that you are judging yourself, try talking to yourself like you would a close friend.

Usually, when we doubt ourselves, it tends to be based on just one thought, so remember that thought does not define you and is not part of your story. To deal with it you can do it mentally, such as "I'm thinking that..." or "my mind tells me that..." This exercise will help you give context to those thoughts.

If you are in a new position and you have a team in charge, normalizes human emotions. It is important to create an organizational culture where prejudices are recognized, an inclusive environment and where doubts can be resolved in a healthy way; we must refrain from using value judgments, starting with "you have impostor syndrome"; instead validate thoughts and identify them as ideas.