The 10 commandments of a happy marriage (according to scientific studies)
If you are looking to have a marriage based on sincere love, trust and respect consider these 10 commandments of a happy marriage.
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10 keys to enjoy a happy marriage
Keep in mind these maxims and guidelines to build a full and emotionally viable marriage.
1. Self-love
It is impossible to love another person without first loving yourself. When a person does not love himself enough, he does not take care of himself, physically, mentally or spiritually.
He does not take care of the other person either, he only seeks his own and immediate gratification, he does not have emotional stability. You tend to feel inferior, because of that come the jealousy sickness, distrust, assumptions, fights, emotional codependency, misunderstanding and finally the end of the marriage.
On the other hand, these people can be highly manipulative or easily manipulated, which is unethical and undignified. Who does not have love is nothing.
- You may be interested: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"
2. Love and respect you can only give what you have
You can only receive what you give. If you love and respect yourself, you will also love and respect your partner. When you truly love, you only seek the good for your partner because by hurting him you are hurting yourself, that represents pain. You have to fall in love, build and congratulate your partner daily.
3. Confidence
It is the firm hope, certainty and faith in the other person. Without it, not even friendship is possible.. To trust another person it is essential to trust oneself; imagine how you feel when you meet someone who is sure of himself... It inspires confidence, right?
Trust is created, transmitted and felt. You have to create trust from the first moment, maintain it and increase it.
Give more than is expected of you. If your partner trusts you and you trust them, your marriage is more likely to last.
4. Assertive and empathetic communication
It is essential to express your emotions freely and voluntarily without restrictions or fear that the other person will be angry or feel bad. You have to seek to be understood and also genuinely understand what your partner feels.
- Not judge
- Not criticize
- Do not get mad
- Do not infer or assume without foundation
Most of the time, human beings spend their time making value judgments, based on previous experiences, generalizing or taking current situations for granted without having evidence. This creates discord: since you already take it for granted, you don't empathize, you don't ask questions, and you assume it as reality. But it's not reality, it's your reality based on assumptions your mind creates. At this point you have to empathize and ask, using an appropriate tone of voice, to communicate that what you are talking about really matters to you and you want to know more.
- Related article: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"
5. Open-mindedness and unconditional acceptance
You have to keep an open and receptive attitude to considering new ideas and opinions, knowledge and behaviors.
This is also based on forgiveness, because only forgiveness brings peace. Forgiving doesn't just mean doing good for the other person; it is also doing good for oneself, and being well is priceless.
6. Innovation and sexuality
What does not grow dies, because the routine is boring; mastering the art of innovation equals progress, and progress is happiness in all areas of life, also in marriage.
7. Conquest
You have to create unique and unforgettable moments; having projects and goals together makes couples reinforce the affective and achievement bond, that they remain united with the vision of growing personally, spiritually and financially.
8. clear finances
It is important to budget how much you earn together, how much you spend and on what, how much you save and how much you invest.
9. Resignation
Nobody owns anybody; "I love you, but I don't need you" is the fact of feeling free being committed.
10. Harmonious relationship with your spouse's family
It is not healthy for the newly married couple to live in their parents' house, with siblings, friends or family members, this alone creates power conflicts and resentments. Newlyweds need their own space to develop, love each other and create a new self-awareness.