Responsibility to be able to change

Taking or being responsible for our actions is one of the first steps in the process of change. A person will hardly be able to advance in the improvement or solution of some of their problems without having clear their responsibility, without assuming their ability to answer about what they do, feel and even think.

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The importance of responsibility in personal development

People have a great capacity for change and adaptation towards new ways of thinking, feeling and acting, and good proof of this are the variations in these aspects that have occurred throughout the life of each one.

However, if we do not take responsibility for our actions and resort to either "throwing balls out" or helped "I am like this", which limit the path towards change, progress or a modification of habits become very complicated.

Also on a personal level, from children to old age, there are substantial changes that go hand in hand with the awareness that we can act and influence things, situations and our own way of performing.

It is curious to observe how children's perception of things changes; initially, the events just happen, and little by little the child realizes that he makes them happen, he is responsible for knocking over a glass, for food to be brought, for demanding attention, for making a toy work, etc.

As you have more experiences with people and the environment, your ability to do and choose what you do increases. It is therefore not surprising that immaturity is often equated with a lack of responsibility..

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The freedom to choose

Responsibility has a fundamental prerequisite or antecedent that is seldom underlined. The freedom of choice.

The idea can be summed up as: I am responsible for what I choose because I could have chosen something else; the verb to choose implies responsibility and I cannot stop being responsible for my own life and for most of the things I do to build it".

Responsibility is not an obligation, it is to answer for what one did. The fact that someone else has indicated, suggested and even ordered me does not eliminate my freedom to choose and decide. The freedom to choose is experienced as something pleasant and pleasurable, but I can even feel guilty for what I do. I chose and I may regret having to answer to that choice since most elections have impact; positive, negative, or both. Responsibility does not deny the influence of different factors or variables in our behavior, which underlines is the ability, sometimes requiring great effort, to choose despite those factors.

Wanting or pretending that someone takes charge of our choices is wanting to continue living like a child so that others can choose for us. However, we cannot escape the idea that we are free and therefore responsible for everything we do.

It does not matter that we blame the laws, the environment, the environment, education, what they send us or influence us. We choose in each moment of our actions, although some choices are as fast and as automatic as the behaviors that we carry out when we drive or feel happy before a pleasant encounter with a family member or dude.

Self-limitations are choices. We are autonomous and set our own standards. I can change my choice because I am free. There are elections that open and others that close; I can choose to change what I don't like, I can choose to stay in a habit that hurts me, I can choose to behave like a victim, I can change the way I relate to others.

Being free is choosing to do only being limited by my capacity and physical condition. Everything else depends on my choice.

conclusion

Responsibility is the most important part of your commitment to a future without maladaptive behaviors. It involves getting up, acknowledging what we have done or not done, accepting your strengths and limitations, and moving forward. It has nothing to do with guilt but with acceptance and personal growth.

If you dare to take responsibility and change certain behaviors and beliefs, it may be a good time to start psychological therapy, but remember, responsibility does not imply guilt. Guilt anchors us in the past, we whip ourselves with something that has been done and this paralyzes us, that is, it is useless and limiting; however, responsibility makes us assume our actions and, as for what happens to us, assume the part that depends on us, an essential factor for the success of psychological therapy.

Author: Marta Marín, psychologist at Mariva Psychologists