How to get the most out of psychotherapy

The success of therapy does not depend only on the therapist...

When someone goes to therapy, its main objective is to eliminate the suffering that has led them to ask for help. A person who voluntarily attends the consultation implies the desire for change, but sometimes this aspiration for evolution only stays on the surface.

• Related article: "The 10 benefits of going to psychological therapy"

How to take advantage of psychological therapy?

The transformation that is expected to improve your life is not going to happen automatically or magically. For that transformation to become a reality we must put into practice the skills acquired in therapy.

Each therapy paradigm is based on different concepts and strategies. Some advocate behavior modification, others need a thorough review of the past, etc. In my case, I intend to point out that the therapy I practice is based mainly on the rational emotive cognitive model; that is, in the way of understanding the reality that surrounds us. This clarification is important in order to understand the advice that follows.

As we already know, each therapy has differences and some are more directive, others more instructive... but they all provoke reflection.

With the objective on the horizon of optimizing the results of our investment and effort, I recommend:

1. Before each session

The most important thing, in that difficult moment of the first date, is that you remember that that stranger who is going to ask you about your intimacies is a professional subject to secrecy, for the code of ethics and by the data protection law. Just as undressing before a doctor is not considered an erotic act, recounting what torments you should not be considered a public or shameful confession.

It is also key to have a small mental scheme or organization of the ideas to be presented, clearly state the main problem (without fear or shame that hinder communication), and be clear about the objective to be achieved and transmit it to the therapist.

On the other hand, it is important do not limit the number of sessions. An ethical professional will not use more sessions than necessary, but for more ethical and competent professional whatever, you can't mechanically input the information or the job to get it done in 10 or 20 sessions. It depends on each case, each person and the circumstances of that person, as well as the involvement during the treatment.

If after 3 or 4 sessions, you do not feel comfortable or do not consider that the work is going in the direction you would like, you owe consider whether you are in the right place for your problem or should you ask for a referral to another professional, depending on your preferences.

• You may be interested: "Mental health: definition and characteristics according to psychology"

2. during the session

In this part of the process, keep in mind the following keys:

• Dedicate the necessary time to the session, without rushing.
• Give full attention to therapy, without distractions.
• Consider whether the therapist who treats you transmits empathy (the feeling of being understood and not judged) and sympathy (feeling of well-being or comfort given the situation).

The psychotherapist does not have to be a friend, but a professional who should not judge your actions. But your responsibility is to tell all the relevant information truthfully.

I remember a situation in which a patient, after three months of therapy, informed me that he drank daily and could not control himself… Phew! Back to rethink the therapy to introduce this new element!. Without a doubt, this supposes a delay for the correct development of the therapy.

If you do not observe the expected improvement, you can transmit it to the psychologist without fear. And you may even laugh together about when and how to reach the goal.

• Related article: "What to expect and what not to expect from psychological therapy"

3. after each session

After the end of a session, apply these guidelines:

• It is appropriate to mentally review what was spoken and make notes to facilitate remembering.
• Think about how you can transfer that learning to your real life.
• Ask all the doubts and even write them down for the next session (on the practical application).
• Ask for clarification if any concept of the session has not been clear to you.

Also, you must carry out tasks designated by the psychotherapist (records, practices, small changes in habits...). At least start getting them up and running, or trying to. You won't always find a direct relationship with the work that you are assigned for that week, but the psychotherapist always takes advantage of the information that this occupation generates.

On the other hand, keep in mind that therapeutic treatment imposes a temporal continuity, sporadic sessions, cannot be considered as psychotherapy.

• You may be interested: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

The importance of embracing change

And last but not least, it is necessary to accept the change that occurs in the process.

The fear of some patients to stop being themselves It has been the reason for not asking for help before. Therapy does not change people, but rather provides new tools that help us find our balance. Sometimes what it provides are new perspectives on the same event. In others, they are techniques to keep anxiety levels under control. Or even a self-knowledge that gives us the necessary strength to continue...

Allow me to insist:

All contributions offered during therapy they are useless if we do not include them in our daily life. In other words, what is the use of learning German if you don't travel to Germany afterwards, don't speak with Germans, or don't read or write in German... You're welcome, indeed!

If the new skills and understanding acquired are put into practice, we soon begin to see different results that are increasingly more in line with our expectations. As I always tell my patients, “therapy is teamwork” because the effort to put it into practice is essential for personal growth to occur.

This does not mean that it is easy, nor does it mean that if it does not come out perfect on the first try it will no longer come out; it just means that the more you try, the more chances of success you have and that if you make mistakes it is another way to learn. It doesn't matter what it costs you, but what you achieve during the process.