Find out how to manage your addiction to worry

How many hours a day do you spend thinking about your problems? Your first minutes in bed when you wake up, while you brush your teeth, when you make breakfast, on your way to work...

It's amazing, but many of us spend most of our day worrying, which is the same as thinking about our problems.

And yes... Believe it or not, you may be addicted to worry.

Worrying is not bad, living worried is the problem

According to PhD in Psychology Ana María Rodríguez Fernández, worrying helps to face a problem to give it a solution, since the function of worries is to face, plan or solve a difficulty.

It's a problem when it becomes an addiction; that is you can't stop worrying, causing anxiety disorders that can affect your efficiency when making decisions, work productivity and even personal relationships.

• Related article: "This is how intrusive thoughts give way to anxiety"

What is addiction?

It is dysfunctional behavior that gives us a false feeling of “relief” in the moment. that momentary reward causes the person experiencing it to repeat the behavior over and over again

, to generate that feeling of relief.

But there comes a point where it's hard to stop those harmful behaviors, even when you know it's hurting you and you need to stop.

A common example is the addiction to drugs. There's always that first time you find out how it makes you feel. Then you do it a couple of times casually. And in many cases, the frequency increases until the point of feeling the need is reached. At that point you are an addict. But drugs are not the only example. Just as you can be addicted to a substance (drug, cigarette, alcohol) you can also be addicted to food (sugar, junk food, etc.); and even your own thoughts.

• You may be interested in: "Cognition: definition, main processes and functioning"

Consequences that addiction can have in your life

Getting out of an addiction is a complex process. First of all, you have already built a habit, almost like brushing your teeth in the morning. But it also happens that when trying to stop it, you find yourself with a strong feeling that something is missing and the need is so strong that you fall over and over again. Let's not go that far. Have you tried to stop eating sweet for a while? Exactly, that's the feeling.

The reality of those who are addicted to worry

All worries are bad, but addiction to worry is a guarantee that you will not have a day of peace in your life.

Is the most effective way to not enjoy your most important moments. The opening of your business, your wedding, the birth of your baby. Do you think it's fair that instead of enjoying these wonderful stages you're only thinking about what can go wrong? Of course not. That's not life!

And not only does it prevent you from enjoying yourself, when your thoughts get out of control it will also be very difficult for you to reflect realistically or take actions that will lead you to move forward. Thinking too much about your problems limits your emotional well-being. For that reason you should limit the time you spend worrying.

• Related article: "Rumination: the annoying vicious circle of thought"

How do you know if you are addicted to worry?

Here I share some signs that can tell you if you are addicted to worry:

• your thoughts go too fast
• you scatter easily
• You go from one concern to another in a microsecond
• Your thoughts are repetitive and not going anywhere
• It's hard for you to put a stop to your mind

Recommendations to manage your addiction to worry

If at this point you consider that you are addicted to worrying thoughts, here are some techniques to deal with it.

It's time for you to take the reins of your life and start enjoying it!

1. Set a time to worry

Ad Kerkhof, a clinical psychologist at the Vrije University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, who has been researching this phenomenon for more than 30 years, says the following:

“What most people do to stop worrying is to tell themselves, over and over again, that they have to stop worrying. But that method doesn't work and produces the same effect as when we repeat ourselves “don't think of a pink elephant”. Our brain removes the word "no" from that message”.

Based on this, the psychologist proposes that you establish a time throughout the day to let your worries flow. Two periods of 15 minutes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

During those 15 minute periods all you will do is worry. You can write down your concerns so that you can organize your thoughts.

In this way you can disconnect from the problem for the rest of the day, because you know that the next period of worry will come.

Considering this technique, whenever a worry invades your head you should repeat to yourself: “Not now. It's not the time to worry

The idea is not to eradicate negative thoughts, it is to be able to control that impatience of having to solve them at that precise moment. Because when you give yourself a space, your thoughts are organized and you can be more effective when making decisions.

Little by little you will notice that you feel more in control over your emotions, that you can get out of those dark moments more easily and likewise that need to worry will decrease.

2. Avoid using your resting places to worry

According to Kerkhoff, it is not good to associate your worries with your resting place. Rather, you should handle them like a job. Therefore, I recommend that you designate a space that is "the office of your worries" and that you only visit it when you are going to think about them.

3. Be flexible and go to your positive memories

The time to go to sleep is when your worries tend to appear with greater force, which prevents you from falling asleep.

According to Kerkhof, you can take a break from your worry diet and spend an extra 5 minutes thinking about what's worrying you. But it is vital that after this break, you take about 10 minutes to think about memories or positive things.

Repeat it about 30 times just like you did with your worries; remember smells and sounds. This will allow you to sleep in a state of calm and joy.

4. look for distractions

Your mind plays tricks on you, and no matter how much you put into practice the previous techniques you will have moments outside of your worry period, in which these thoughts appear.

When that happens, look for distractions that allow you to divert your mind and take it away from that anxiety. Example: talking with a friend or colleague about other topics, listening to a song or a podcast, reading a good book, etc.

5. be patient with yourself

Very few solutions are immediate, and learning to manage your addiction is not one of them. Kerkhof put this technique into practice with 200 people who worried all the time, and the average number of those who managed to reduce their worries was 50%.

If you want to break your addiction to worry, you have to give yourself time to teach yourself, eradicate the habit, and plant the new.

To end…

If you feel that after trying these techniques you are not getting out of the addiction, seek help.

Remember that there will always be a professional at your disposal to guide you in this process towards having a calmer life.