How to express feelings and connect with someone, in 6 steps

Many times we forget that, when it comes to developing a healthy way of relating to our emotional facet, we do not it is enough to know how to control oneself or identify which are the feelings that predominate in each moment. Also it is very important to know how to express feelings.

In this article we will see several keys to communicate to others the reality about how we feel, especially in relation to those mental states whose nature goes beyond words.

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How to express our feelings in personal relationships?

Much of what holds us together with others is our ability to connect emotionally with others. It is difficult to maintain a consolidated relationship, be it family, partner or friendship, with someone whom nothing is known about how he feels, in what range of colors he usually sees reality, and in what way does.

However, knowing how to express feelings is quite a challenge. First of all, you have to deal with a number of cultural barriers

that have led to underestimate certain kinds of affective manifestations, and that has been primed especially with the men and with people with a non-normative sexual orientation, but that ultimately has affected the entire world. For centuries, letting emotions color the most important aspects of our way of life was considered a sign of weakness, or directly inappropriate and a reason for censorship.

But another component that makes it difficult for us to express feelings is something that goes beyond our cultural contexts: feelings are, in themselves, something that does not have to fit with the usual ways of expressing themselves through language.

Precisely to help progress in the mission of connecting more and better with others, below we will see a series of tips on how to express feelings both through words and using other communicative resources, regardless of whether we apply them with our partner in the context of love, or with friends and family.

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1. Always adapt your way of expressing yourself

It is essential, first of all, to discard the idea that we can always express our feelings in the same way, as if we had a way of expressing them that was so personal that we couldn't adapt it. This is not the case: if the person in front of us is not capable of understanding what we want to say, we will not have expressed anything.

So, if you really want to show a part of yourself that you consider relatively intimate and that has to do with how you feel, You must think about the perspective from which the other person starts. For example: how would you interpret a physical approach on our part? Is it likely that he understands a concept that we will use to make a metaphor? Does she know in the first place that we trust her enough to tell her that, or will she think it's a joke?

Knowing how to ask the right questions to adapt our communicative style is an art, and for this it is usually It takes practice and an honest intention to express yourself, and not just give a certain image because it responds to Our interests.

2. learn assertiveness

Express feelings it is also an act of courage. For this reason, you should avoid making an excuse out of shame, and this is achieved, among other things, by working on your assertiveness, the ability to assert your own feelings and your own values.

3. Make your social circle healthy

To start having it easier when expressing feelings, it is also important not to surround yourself with people who react negatively when we do so. Therefore, it is good to find open and receptive people that they do not see emotionally as a reason to criticize or mock.

4. Take advantage of non-verbal language

When expressing feelings, non-verbal language is essential. Be careful not to overlook it and not take it into account or even suppress it, since an expression that is too neutral when communicating feelings can totally turn what we mean. Specifically, it is especially important that you pay attention to the whole of the voice you use and its musicality, as well as how you manage the distances with the other person, and what are you doing with your arms and eyes: the latter, must be directed to the eyes of the other.

5. write what you feel

This is a very good way to know first what you feel, something necessary to be able to express it. In addition, it can help you to rehearse linguistic ways of communicating it, although, as we have seen, these will not be perfect or sufficient in themselves to truly express what sorry.

6. Look for suitable places

The context is almost as important as what is said. As well as using one or another style of non-verbal language can make the same words mean different things, the context we are in when we say it also has this effect. Therefore, make sure that there is coherence between the content of what you are going to communicate and the place where you do it, so that there are no misunderstandings that need to be clarified.