Cinderella complex: why does it affect many women?

The most modern generations have stated that fairy tales and stereotypes of little princesses have seriously harmed the way women themselves see themselves (and their own bad love stories). interpreted).

This social phenomenon based on traditional gender roles has given rise to what is known as Cinderella complex.

What is the Cinderella complex?

Simply defined, the Cinderella complex is a psychological phenomenon that predisposes people to women to value themselves and their lives depending on the proximity of a protective figure: the couple.

In this way, this psychological and social phenomenon favors the appearance of a self-image characterized by the expectation of the appearance of a couple that supposedly will give meaning to our life and, in cases where you already have a partner, it feeds the creation of a relationship dynamic based on dependency.

The American writer Colette Dowling wrote a book in which she recounted how women with a Cinderella complex have a certain fear of independence and relate their happiness to their emotional status, giving rise to the insatiable and erroneous search for "Prince Charming" to achieve happiness absolute.

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Cinderella as a female model

The psychological pattern of women with Cinderella syndrome has three basic characteristics: an unconscious desire to be cared for, rescued and cared for constantly by other people even outside the sentimental couple.

This type of behavior can be explained by several factors. And it is that according to Colette Dowling, its root is in a sum of motivations: from the way in which women are educated to certain social rules that lead women to feel this way, making a simple explanation of the problem difficult.

Somehow, the cultural residue based on machismo continues to feed this kind of attitudes and philosophies of life that make strong distinctions between what is proper to the feminine and what corresponds to the male. The first is fragile and must be taken care of from the outside, and the second is strong, firm and self-sufficient. The combination of gender roles that stem from this polarized perception of men and women creates, among other things, the Cinderella complex.

Her CARACTERISTICS

Some of the characteristics of the Cinderella complex are the following:

• Low self-esteem.
• Constant dependency.
• Fear of leaving the comfort zone.
• Idealization of the couple.

If you identify with any of these symptoms, the best method to combat them or transform this behavior is to look for happiness without a partner and with the virtues that you have by yourself, without having to wait for someone to come and change your life reality.

In the event that you cannot overcome these fears and attitudes, the ideal is to ask for help from a specialist who can help you modify your beliefs and habits.

Is it a mental disorder?

The Cinderella complex It is not a concept used in clinical psychology or psychiatry. To call a mental disorder, it simply describes a certain pattern of behavior fueled by customs, stereotypes about the differences between men and women.

However, if the behavior patterns you describe are very pronounced and interfere with the quality of life of the person or their environment, may indicate the presence of characteristic symptoms of the Borderline personality disorder or of Dependency Personality Disorder.

5 keys to being an independent woman

It is very common to hear talk today about the need to vindicate the independent and self-sufficient woman. However, being clear about how to adopt a more self-confident attitude is complicated. For this reason, we will work on these keys to develop female independence while always respecting that of others.

Basically, we find two types of independence: emotional and economic. In part, one depends on the other to be able to consolidate a good level of independence.

Here are five tips to overcome the problem:

1. take care of your emotions

Definitely the most difficult step and the first to face, since it is the base of everything. Emotional independence is achieved by clearly defining what you want, what you like and what you don't. Regarding your personal relationships, whether with friends, co-workers, family or your romantic partner, you have to dedicate efforts to analyze where the real capacities of oneself end and where the collaboration of others is truly necessary. the rest

2. responsibility with money

The idea that what is normal and desirable depends financially on the couple greatly restricts one's own freedom. Learn to depend on yourself and not ask anyone for money.

3. enjoy the solitude

There is no need to panic when you are left alone. Value your moments of solitude as something with positive aspects and meet your own thoughts, feelings and fears.

4. cultivate yourself

Enjoying a higher level of skills and knowledge empowers us and makes us more free and autonomous, regardless of our gender.

5. work self esteem

This point is as essential as the first. love yourself it will help you show yourself as an empowered woman and safe. Loving you, without falling into arrogance, makes you respect yourself, take care of yourself, cultivate yourself, etc. You should expect the same from the people around you.