The best advice to reach your goals of the new year

More than 55% of people who set goals for the New Year leave them abandoned before reaching it.

Are you part of that 55%? If so, I invite you to continue reading. This article seeks to help you set goals aligned with your values so that they fill you with joy and motivation instead of increasing your anxiety levels.

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Why are New Year's resolutions not kept?

The fulfillment of your goals depends to a large extent on how realistic they are. Those goals that are too ambitious can lead to frustration.

But also, and even more important, is to make sure that those goals are aligned with your values, because otherwise you won't feel enough motivation to carry them out. And what's worse, if you manage to hold them they won't make you happy.

And it is that your values ​​should be the compass that guides your life, which makes it possible to distinguish between what makes sense and what does not. Therefore, it is clear that Before writing your New Year's goals, it is important that you are clear about the values ​​that guide your life.

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If you have no idea what your values ​​are, don't worry. In this article you will find a guide to get started. But keep in mind that there will be a therapist willing to help you in that discovery process.

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Why is it important to know your values ​​before defining your goals?

With the bombardment of content that we experience through social networks, it is very easy to stray from what we really want or what really makes us happy. Read this example and tell me if it's not true.

You come across a post from your favorite influencer in which she shares her list of resolutions and you think: I also want to lose weight and buy a car next year. You go and write it down on your resolution list.

But is that what you really want? Because if not, it is possible that when March arrives you will no longer remember the goals you set for yourself. Or even worse, that you hold a goal that generates more frustration than joy.

The good news is that you can avoid it. And for that I am going to show you some exercises that will help you to be clear about your values ​​so that you can define goals that keep you motivated and fill you with joy.

• Related article: "The 10 types of values: principles that govern our lives"

How to identify your values?

As I said before, values ​​are the compass of your life. The route you want to follow. Your values ​​may change as you go through stages in your life., which is why it's important that you update them whenever you feel like something doesn't feel aligned anymore.

Some examples of values ​​would be: love, humility, sense of humor, creativity, responsibility, gratitude.

Questions to define your values

Here I recommend some questions that can help you define your values ​​so you can set realistic goals:

• How would you like to relate to your family and friends?
• What kind of son / mother / father / brother do you want to be?
• How would you like your relationship with your father/mother/son to be?
• What does it mean to you to have a good relationship?
• How important is that relationship to you?
• What do you have to do to have that kind of relationship?
• What thoughts or emotions can prevent you from taking action toward building that relationship?
• What would happen if those thoughts or emotions did not exist?
• How would you feel if you manage to have that relationship you want?
• What would you lose if you don't manage to have that good relationship?
• When are you going to take action to achieve the relationship you want?

By answering these questions honestly you will be able to identify which are the most important values in your life and based on that define your goals for the next year.

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What is not measured can not be improved

It's not just about setting realistic goals. If you just write them down on a piece of paper and don't monitor progress throughout the year, chances are you'll forget them.

Create a monthly or quarterly ritual to assess how far you've come and where you need to step up. Recognize the progress you make and give yourself a small gift to celebrate. That will help you stay motivated and will make the tour more fun.

You don't have to do it alone

The self-discovery process is not easy for everyone, and some may feel more lost than they did before they started. Keep in mind that you can work with a therapist to guide you and accompany you to discover your values ​​to align your goals and start enjoying the life you want.

Being clear about your values ​​will not only help you achieve your goals, but also lead a purposeful life by doing things that feed your heart with joy.

• IPSOS (2020). Nearly two in five Americans have a New Year's Resolution planned for 2021.