Coping with anxiety: from acceptance to action

Anxiety, as you have probably read in other articles, is an emotional state that our brain generates as an adaptive response to facing stressful and/or threatening situations because they could bring pain, discomfort, loss, insecurity, lack economic, etc.

This state is felt at a physiological level with nerves, palpitations, rapid breathing, sweating, tremors, a feeling of tiredness, weakness, inability to concentrate or not being able to think about anything other than what is worrying us, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems, and avoidance of situation.

So that, Anxiety is the response of fear that we feel before a situation or the consequence of this, from that context of events that logically we do not want to face due to the changes it represents.

• Related article: "What is anxiety?"

The relationship between anxiety and fear

Fear is a natural emotion in all people when faced with the feeling of uncertainty. It is usually the common denominator of threatening situations, not knowing what to do, what to say, lack of control, not having the tools, skills or abilities to face or solve that situation; then we feel worried and therefore we cannot stop thinking about it, which causes us discomfort and we cannot think clearly to find a way to deal with it.

There is also that discomfort caused by fears that are more subtle, more personal, and that each one feels according to their experience and different experiences. What has suffered in some situation that is similar to what is now presenting itself and before which the brain sends us this alert, because From experience, in a similar situation, we have suffered a lot, and we do not want to repeat it..

That anxiety can also be fear of feeling sadness or anger, because we have concepts about these emotions that we associate with people we don't care about. we want to appear, because at the time they were classified as victims or complainers, or have beliefs such as that you have to be strong and strong people do not collapse.

These fears have the function of protecting us, because they are showing us that there is a situation or emotional discomfort that must be resolved or addressed.

• You may be interested in: "What is fear for?"

An experience linked to change

On the other hand, anxiety is presented as an indicator of changes in life conditions that, due to our way of seeing life, we associate them with failure, with psychological states that we reject because we see them as a symptom of weakness or vulnerability. It is possible to feel anxious about being in a situation where we are victims, and we associate that with toxic or weak people, for example.

Besides, Anxiety can even appear before new experiences that are good and bring fantastic things with them: a new love, entrepreneurship, pregnancy... Situations in which we feel afraid for not knowing how to respond to them because they are new, and we do not know how to face them because we do not have the tools or skills to respond and learn to live with them, most likely influenced by the idea of ​​not being able to face them, perhaps also because we do not feel fully deserving of what happens to us.

Each person is different and we cannot generalize with ideas and messages from others that seem to magically solve anxious states. That is why it is important that, in the presence of anxiety, we review the context and understand if it is an external or internal cause that is causing it, and preferably accompanied by a psychotherapist, treat the discomfort in a personalized way, to face the situation or the emotion that is generating it and undertake the best way to fix it.

• Related article: "The keys to managing stress and anxiety"

And what do I do if I have anxiety?

Ignoring anxiety and starting to meditate is what should not be done, because by not wanting to assume how we feel and "intelligently managing emotion" believing that "everything is in the mind" we are invalidating ourselves, leaving us in the background, affirming that we are not important enough to ourselves, and that form of neglect and heartbreak causes much more pain and more distress.

Focus on what message your body is transmitting to you through that shape, on how it feels. Is it indicating that there is a problem? That there is the possibility of a problem or that you are living in a way that is not consistent with your values ​​and your way of feeling? What, are you facing a situation where you are not in control? Or that you are facing a new experience that you do not have the tools or skills to face? Are you not allowing yourself to feel and cry because you associate it with weakness?

Anxiety as a response to certain circumstances can be channeled. First from the understanding of the situation and the verification that it is normal to feel this way, giving space to drain the emotions. We feel relieved when we can answer why this affects us in this way.

Acceptance is key. Accept that life is about ups and downs, that feeling is an inherent part of being alive and that we cannot control everything, that untimely situations are going to happen because life distributes randomly and that it is okay not to be prepared to face them, that this does not make us weak. Paying attention to what causes us discomfort and what hurts us is what we should do, it's like when we the stomach hurts and we go to the doctor, attention is paid to the pain and discomfort to seek treatment appropriate.

The best antidote for anxiety is pay attention to you with love, how you pay attention to a child to understand what is wrong with him, because seeing him badly hurts you and you want to help him, in addition to making decisions and acting on that context that causes discomfort.

Above all, seek therapeutic assistance to have a person who will help you understand and seek solutions, which will accompany you and support you in these moments where everything looks gray and few things seem to have sense.