Lack of empathy: 12 signs that give it away

Empathy is a basic ability that allows us to successfully relate to other members of our species and the community. society, allowing a healthy coexistence and in which the rights, freedoms and needs of each of its members are respected. components.

Thanks to it we can relate to a deep level and value and feel valued by others. But the truth is that not everyone is equally empathetic, and there are even people who completely lack this capacity. Not having it can lead to ducts that are not understandable for the majority and a great disability, and in some people even trigger aggression or violence. How could we recognize someone who lacks she? In this article we are going to talk about different signs that reveal someone with a lack of empathy.

• Related article: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in the other's place"

What is empathy?

We call empathy the ability to put oneself in another's place, understanding the feelings and thoughts others may be having and how situations or even our own affect them Actions. It is a question of seeing things not in an objective and cold way, but of seeing them as the other experiences them: they have to be taken into account. account the implications for the person, their subjectivity, their context and their circumstances, as well as their idiosyncrasy and personality.

empathy is a staple of deep interpersonal relationships, as well as interpersonal and emotional intelligence by allowing us both the appropriate and adaptive contact with others as managing our own emotions and recognizing those of other people in our around. Its lack can have repercussions in the life of the person who lacks it and also in their environment, generating instability, loneliness and even problems adapting to society or following the rules social.

There can be many causes that can generate a lack of empathy: from the deprivation of affection throughout childhood to the experience of physical, mental and/or sexual abuse, also going through various neurological, neurodevelopmental or psychological conditions and problems. It's important to put attention on each person has their own capabilities and empathy can be more or less developed in each one of us, but the total absence of this capacity is difficult and usually occurs in different disorders.

An example of this is the set of autism spectrum disorders. Another, the narcissistic personality or the borderline personality. Finally, and also being the latter in that the lack of empathy can go hand in hand with the exercise of violence, of disobedience to rules and laws and even crimes, is the case of people with antisocial disorder or the case of psychopathy and the sociopathy.

Signs that reveal a lack of empathy

Below we indicate some signs that reflect the presence of a difficulty or absence of empathy, regardless of its reason for appearance. It must be taken into account that the lack of empathy can occur at a cognitive level (that is, not knowing how the other person may feel). another), emotionally (although you know how the other may feel, it has no emotional impact) or both senses. Also, in addition to all this, it must be taken into account that the lack of empathy can be associated with different characteristics depending on other facets of personality and cognition, not all the items that follow being applicable to all subjects with a lack of empathy.

1. self immersion

A characteristic that people with a lack of empathy tend to have in common, especially those who have characteristics autistic, is the feeling that they are focused on their inner world and that they are not fully aware of the people around them around.

2. comprehension problems

Not being able to put yourself in the place of others makes it difficult for many people with empathy problems be difficult to understand the actions and words of others, as well as the reaction to their own Actions. This can cause suffering in the subject himself. or be somewhat indifferent, depending on whether there is a desire for a relationship (such as in people with Asperger) or this is indifferent.

3. distorted theory of mind

Theory of mind is the ability we have to realize that other people have their own minds, motivations, and desires, and that these may be different from ours. The existence of a lack of empathy may lead to or be related to a problem in this ability, with a certain inability to separate one's own point of view from that of others others.

4. Egocentrism

Something common in all people with a lack of empathy is egocentrism: they see everything from their point of view, being this the only valid one and not considering the validity of others. There can also be selfishness: the only thing or the most important thing is what one wants, the defense of one's rights and the achievement of one's goals.

• You may be interested in: "Egocentric Personality: 15 Characteristic Traits"

5. Narcissism

Although it is not essential, it is common for those who lack empathy to develop a certain degree of narcissism, considering themselves superior or more valuable than the rest and putting their needs above other people's rights. This aspect is strongly linked to the previous point.

6. Lack of tact and contextual inadequacy

In contact with others, someone who does not have empathy will be characterized by a communication that does not take into account or for which it is indifferent how others may react. Thus, they can put aside pragmatic aspects of language and send harsh messages without any tact towards their senders. This sign may not be evident in the case of manipulation attempts, if the person has high intelligence and is able to know at a cognitive level how things affect others.

7. Impatience

Another common characteristic in non-empathic people is impatience with others: they cannot understand or value the needs of others and they find it irritating to have to repeat themselves or spend time doing things with others, integrating them.

8. Stereotypes and prejudices continue

The fact of not having the capacity for empathy makes it common for these people to use to guide themselves stereotypes and prejudices, acting at a cognitive level and using labels in order to guide their behavior and thought. They are also unable to see how they affect the behavior of others.

9. Superficial, destructive, or avoided relationships

Something common to most people with a lack of empathy is the fact that, by not being able to identify and value emotions and thoughts of the other as something valuable or interesting and not being able to put themselves in their place, they generally maintain shallow relationships and superficial. It is possible that this type of relationship is simply cordial or that there is a seductive behavior to self-satisfy their needs, or that they are directly avoided because they are incomprehensible.

10. utilitarian behaviors

A person with a great lack of empathy will tend to use other people as a resource to achieve their goals. The fact of not being able to put oneself in the other's place causes the other to be devalued and reified, using it either directly or indirectly to fulfill personal objectives regardless of their feelings.

11. Aggression and violence

Although not all people who do not have empathy develop violent attitudes (for example, people with autism have problems with empathy and are not usually violent), the truth is that not having empathy makes it easier resort to aggressive or even violent problem solving styles in the absence of awareness of what this implies for the other or the suffering they can cause.

12. lack of regrets

Doing something that hurts others usually generates some remorse in most people. However, in those who lack empathy, regrets are non-existent or much less than expected. usual, although they can apologize if they have the knowledge that others have suffered or if it is convenient for their purposes.