Madame Bovary syndrome: what is it and what are its symptoms?

Throughout our lives, each and every one of us develops our own vision of the world, based on the experience and learning that we extract not only from what we experience but also from what our peers and our culture give us. teach.

This vision includes, among other aspects, how our relationships with others should be, something that leads us to have expectations regarding the socio-affective interactions we maintain.

However, sometimes our expectations are not realistic, and we find ourselves with a reality that we do not like and that can cause us dissatisfaction. Although in general we all have some disappointment that we end up getting over, some people live in a state of permanent frustration, affected by excessively idealistic and romantic expectations that when confronted with reality cannot reach be satisfied.

This is what happens in the so-called Madame Bovary syndrome or bovarism, which we are going to talk about throughout this article.

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Madame Bovary syndrome: what are we talking about?

Bovarism or Madame Bovary syndrome It is a maladaptive pattern of behavior and cognition that is characterized by the existence of a persistent and chronic dissatisfaction derived from the strong discrepancy between reality and the expectations we have of the world, especially within the sphere of affective relationships and romantic. Although romantic relationships are a common element in his type of thinking, what defines the disorder is chronic dissatisfaction and the pursuit of an unrealistic ideal of happiness.

This syndrome, a behavioral disorder that, although it has no official consideration, is increasingly well known, can generate a high level of unhappiness and psychological suffering to those who suffer from it, and it is much more frequent in women than in men, despite the fact that there is an increasing trend towards a balance between both genders. The name of the syndrome comes from the novel Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert, in which the protagonist maintains excessive expectations in the face of love (due to the idealization of it derived from reading of romantic novels) and seeks to satisfy them in the face of what she considers a monotonous and boring life and a loveless marriage, without ever achieving satisfy them.

Those who suffer from Madame Bovary syndrome tend to maintain an idyllic and utopian vision of love and relationships, a vision that does not withstand its contrast with real life and that generates great dissatisfaction on the one hand and on the other, a rejection of said reality, unable to accept the great divergence between their expectations and the world. It is common for them to maintain a compulsive search for happiness and their vision of a perfect life and relationships. They usually look for their better half, their soul mate or ideal partner. There is also usually an extreme fear of not finding them, and even the denial of this possibility.

They usually develop a melancholic personality and dependent, doing his best to make his relationships as close as possible to his ideal.

Psychological and relational consequences

The affectation generated by this syndrome can be enormous. The person himself usually feels dissatisfied and unhappy constantly, and tends to deny aspects of the world that do not correspond to his ideals. It is common for anxious and depressive symptoms to appear, with a tendency to melancholy and dysthymia, and sometimes lead to aggressive and self-destructive behavior.

Their social and couple relationships are highly unsatisfactory, marked by possessiveness, jealousy and recriminations, at the same time that they tend to focus on the other (in a highly dependent way) in such a way that a large part of one's own interests is put aside in order not to be abandoned. There is a certain egocentrism, valuing the relationship by the way in which it affects only the subject himself.

Main symptoms of this alteration

Among the main symptoms of this alteration, the presence of the aforementioned permanent dissatisfaction, as well as the maintenance of rigid expectations and perspectives and little realistic. There is strong cognitive dissonance. It is not uncommon for the person to see themselves as self-sacrificing and idealized, with a tendency to consider themselves deserving of the best.

There is often a biased world view, processing only the information that supports their world view and ignoring the rest, or even refusing to acknowledge it. In addition, on an emotional level there also tends to be a deep feeling of emptiness resulting from the impossibility of achieving your desires, as well as an overvaluation and an exaggerated emotional reaction to conflicts and divergences. There is usually neuroticism and difficulties in tolerating monotony and frustration, also maintaining excessive expectations regarding how their life should be.

On a romantic level, these people tend to compulsively search for an ideal love, spending a great deal of time looking for love or keeping someone by their side. There is great emotional dependence and often the subject focuses exclusively on his partner, with whom he seeks an identification. The identification with the other reaches the level that the tastes and ways of seeing the world of the spouse are copied and assumed as their own.

However, when this does not meet their expectations, they can go looking for other people even if they have a partner, in such a way that it is not uncommon for infidelity and not ending a relationship until you can jump to another considered better. Impossible and complicated love affairs tend to attract them, given the challenge they pose.

Possible causes

Madame Bovary syndrome is not a recognized disorder and its causes are not entirely known. However, the very definition of the disorder establishes that the origin of this chronic dissatisfaction is found in the lack of adaptation between the person's expectations and reality.

These expectations may be due to an excessively utopian vision of romantic relationships., often exacerbated by literature or cinematographic or theatrical works. Likewise, it has been observed that there is a tendency for people with this syndrome to have suffered situations of abandonment, deprivation of affection or abuse in childhood, something that may have led to idealizing a relationship situation or normative affection and an extreme fear of not get it.

Treatment?

Madame Bovary syndrome is a behavioral disorder whose treatment involves working on the deepest beliefs regarding the value of relationships, the modification of cognitive biases and unrealistic beliefs, and work on self-esteem. It is necessary to reflect and analyze the way of thinking, feeling and relating both to one himself as with the environment, as well as the way it has affected the life of the subject and those who surround.

However, it must be taken into account that this syndrome is profoundly affected by personality characteristics and specifically with dependent personality disorder, with which the treatment must take into account that they will have to work on deep aspects of the way of being and the world on the part of the patient, something that may require working out the reason for the need for a change before proceeding to treat the problematic points per se.