Why is it hard for me to relate to people? Causes and what to do

Interpersonal relationships are partly related to the attitude of each one; Some may find it easier than others to properly relate to their peers within the framework of social norms. This responds to the individual differences that exist between some people and others.

Therefore, it is relatively frequent that the question arises: "Why do I find it hard to relate to people?". In this article we are going to see what factors may be behind this kind of social difficulties, and what can be done about it.

Related article: "I have a hard time making friends: causes and solutions"

Why is it hard for me to relate to people? possible reasons

The causes can be varied, and be mixed between the subject's personality characteristics and the social environment in which he has been developing since childhood. To answer the question “why do I find it difficult to relate to people?” both causes need to be understood.

For example, a child who tends to be extroverted but develops in an environment where excessive composure prevails

, he will grow restricted, and most likely will have difficulties relating to others during his adult stage.

The same happens in the opposite case, when the children are introverted and the significant people in their environment try to force them to interact with others in an arbitrary way. The child will grow up remembering aversive experiences linked to social relationships, and later in his adult life it will be more difficult for him to achieve meaningful and lasting relationships.

It can be said then that the difficulties in social relationships depend to a large extent on how these two factors are balanced (environment and nature), so that the subject develops and grows with a good self-esteem, and also knows how to recognize and manage their characteristics of personality. In this way, personal factors such as extroversion and introversion can be prevented from playing against each other when establishing and maintaining social relationships with others.

Ideally, people should acquire the necessary skills to moderate their personality characteristics. within the framework of social norms, without this affecting them in any way in terms of their development natural.

Factors Affecting Social Relations

Next we will see the factors that affect the psychosocial development of people.

1. Natural factors

The natural factors that influence social difficulties are all those that come from the genetic predispositions of the subject. Depending on the family history, they could be hereditary, although in many of them the learning history also has a significant influence. These are some of the most common:

• Autism spectrum disorders.
• Depression.
• Some addictions (alcoholism, pathological gambling, etc.).
• Diseases of the thyroid gland.
• Stress propensity.
• Antisocial personality disorder.
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
• Social phobia.
• Anxiety.
• Agoraphobia (irrational fear of open spaces).

All of this is just propensities whose negative social impact we can overcome if we change our habits, as we will see.

2. Social factors

Social factors, which are mainly learned, have a high impact in terms of the social relationships that we are able to establish. Let's see how our environment can influence in this aspect of life:

• Dysfunctional family environment.
• Child abuse.
• Very permissive parenting styles.
• Authoritarian parenting styles.
• Child abandonment.
• Separation from parents.
• severe trauma.
• mourning processes pathological.
• Reduced social circle.
• Influence of negative groups.

It must be borne in mind that the presence of the factors seen above only represent a higher rate of probabilities of presenting problems in social relationships, but are not absolutely determinative. That is why they are known as risk factors.

How to avoid difficulties in relating to people?

In the same way that there are risk factors that can lead the subject to present difficulties in their interpersonal relationships, also There are ways in which you can avoid these types of limitations.. They are the following

1. Be selective about the social group

The fact that you do not get along well with a social group It doesn't mean that it should be like this with everyone.; keep in mind that it is not worth forcing the interaction. If you find that in order to fit in with a group you have to get too far away from who you really are, then maybe it's time to stop fitting in.

2. set goals

The goals They help to a great extent to gradually overcome our social limitations; it is about escalating our fears in a controlled manner. For example, if talking to people gives us anxiety; We set a daily goal of starting at least 3 conversations a day.

Do this It will allow us to overcome our insecurities, and the time will come when we can do it naturally. These goals must have a deadline, in order to measure how well we have done in that period of time.

3. Share experiences

dare to share personal experiences with those close to you. It's okay if you sometimes comment on things that make you feel vulnerable. Contrary to what many believe, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness in all contexts.

If you are able to open up to tell negative experiences to others, they will feel more trustworthy with you, and the interaction can become more meaningful to all team members. cluster. Of course, keep in mind that they must be trusted people.

4. attend therapy

A resource little used by people is psychological therapy, probably due to the stereotypes that still exist towards the figure of these sessions. But the reality is that going to therapy can clarify the panorama regarding what is limiting you. socially, and it will serve to propose "training" plans to better relate to others. the rest.

• You may be interested in: "How to find a psychologist to attend therapy: 7 tips"