The secret of change: generating new habits

The new school year arrives, we started a new job, we decided to start a healthier life by going to the gym... All these situations are very common for most people, and as one of the great Greek philosophers named Heraclitus said in effect: "Everything flowing; Everything changes; Nothing remains.” Day to day we are faced with decisions that can change the meaning and direction of our lives and only our motivation towards them can make us follow them.

One of the keys to achieving the goals we set for ourselves is generating new habits. Creating routines that facilitate and guide us along the path that reaches our destination is essential. Thanks to these habits, we develop new neural circuits and behavior patterns that, if well consolidated, will accompany us for the rest of our lives.

Learning a new habit not only depends on repeating it, but is closely related to the individual ability to manage our emotions. Today talking about emotional intelligence is nothing new, but there is a term known as delayed gratification that can go more unnoticed.

When we decide to get involved and commit to carrying out a task, we put various mechanisms into operation, among which is emotional control.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

An example: delayed gratification

Various studies, such as the popular Marshmallow Test, have shown that those people who are able to delay their rewards in time obtain benefits in different facets of his life. Some of these experiments sampled infant-age boys and girls who were left in a room with a very appetizing candy and it was proposed that if they did not eat it they could get a larger number around the corner. experimenter.

The results of these tests were that those who waited the longest, when they left re-evaluated as adolescents and adults, they demonstrated a remarkable series of advantages with respect to their companions.

As adolescents, they had higher scores on social competence, self-confidence, and higher self-esteem, and were rated by their parents as more mature, better able to deal with stress, more likely to plan for the future, and more rational. As adults, they were less likely to have problems with drugs or other addictive behaviors, get divorced, or be overweight.

adopt new habits

Beyond knowing how to control our reward desires, there are some keys that can help us to introduce new habits in our life.

1. The 21 day rule

One of the pioneers in talking about the 21 day rule for creating new habits It was Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Renowned surgeon, he realized that in cases such as aesthetic operations or limb amputation, people took 21 days to generate a new mental image of themselves.

Thanks to these discoveries, we take this time period as a reference for the consolidation of new habits, that is, it is necessary to repeat the new behaviors for 21 days so that they are automated and consolidate.

2. Associate it to our value chain

If the new habit that we want to include in our day to day is very closely related to our values ​​and/or principles, it will have an extra importance that will encourage its realization. This can be explained through its linkage with our intrinsic motivation, our wanting to do something proactively.

• You may be interested in: "Intrinsic motivation: what is it and how to promote it?"

3. Meditation can help us

One of the forms of learning that human beings have is visualization. It consists of imagining ourselves carrying out the tasks or objectives to be achieved. Through this process, our mind is acquiring some of the necessary skills and it can be a great support to the physical realization of the same.

On the other hand, techniques such as meditation can encourage the development and consolidation of new habits. It has been proven that through them significant changes are produced in the brain structure related to well-being and happiness.

4. Perseverance and commitment

Both are essential to achieve a new habit.

At first it can be complicated, for this you can manage your attention and focus on the benefits that you will obtain in the medium-long term. It is important that the new habits that you consider are affordable, positive and that you can measure your progress towards them.

We learn something new every day, it is not a matter of unlearning those routines that make us uncomfortable or that we want change, but to consider other alternatives that promote our personal development and provide us with welfare.

At UPAD Psychology and Coaching we help people in the generation and acquisition of new habits that will allow the client to achieve their goals obtaining high levels of satisfaction and welfare.