Paranoid thoughts in relationships

In today's increasingly competitive and individualistic society, it is easy to be suspicious of others. It is not uncommon for some people to seek to achieve different types of advantage over us or to not take us into account when valuing other types of needs more. And this can generate fear and mistrust.

However, although some people do it, this does not mean that everyone does it. Many people have come to generalize these types of thoughts, generating dynamics and behaviors that can have serious consequences for them and their relationships. These are paranoid thoughts with serious effects on personal relationships, something that will be discussed throughout this article.

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What do we mean by paranoid thoughts?

We understand by paranoid thoughts the set of thoughts that have characteristics of paranoia. The latter, if considered from the perspective of psychopathology, is characterized by the presence of pathological delusions and interpretations of reality in the form of self-referential and persecutory delusion, suspecting that what is happening around him revolves around him and that others have the intention of taking advantage or provoking some kind of Of damage. Usually the subject with paranoia

he is extremely rigid in his thoughts, making it difficult to make him change his beliefs, and present a high attitude of distrust towards others. It is not uncommon for strange behaviors and behaviors to manifest as an element of protection.

While it should be noted that paranoid thinking does not necessarily equate to paranoia as a disorder, the truth is that paranoid thinking shares many of these characteristics. It usually implies the existence of a high level of insecurity and distrust towards others and their interaction with the subject in question. It is usual that they tend to use a deductive type of thinking to analyze the interaction with the others, starting from a general premise to extend the conclusions drawn from it to each case particular.

Paranoid thinking usually generates a reaction of rancor and decrease and avoidance of intimacy with the person to whom it refers, even though the person may not have done anything to deserve them. It also tends to generate deep suffering in those who have it, as well as to lead them to carry out behaviors that cause discomfort to the person who generates said behavior. In fact, sometimes there is a self-fulfilling prophecy effect: the person you suspect ends up doing what was attributed to him due to the treatment that the person with paranoid thinking has given him.

It is typical of insecure people, in many cases with previous traumatic experiences that have made them think of the world and others as elements hostiles or competitors who try to take away our livelihood or our dreams or who have a great fear of being abandoned due to such experiences.

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Paranoid thoughts in relationships

Although paranoid thoughts can appear in any context, one of the vital areas where they occur most often and cause the greatest affectation is in that of the couple, in which unjustified fears and jealousy may appear and even establish a disorder such as Othello syndrome.

In this sense, one of the most common and repeated is the fear or conviction that our partner is being unfaithful to us. Although it is not something impossible and it is a fear that appears sporadically in many people, the truth is that the Sustained maintenance and without substantiated causes of said suspicion can generate a deep schism in the relationship, to the point even break it.

In some extreme cases, it is possible to establish some control or surveillance over the couple: what they do, who they talk to, who they chat with, when they are connected, how many times you go out and how much you dress up for it, what it smells like, hygiene habits... some people even violate their partner's privacy by looking at their mail or email mobile. Reproaches, accusations, suspicions and hypercontrol they violate and erode the relationship, in fact being able to provoke these same reactions of distrust that the couple carries out an infidelity or abandons the relationship.

In addition to infidelity and abandonment, there may also be self-referential ideas, in which everything the other says is considered a attack or even in which the relationship is considered to exist out of mere interest or comfort on the part of the couple and not out of a true feeling of Union. This can generate a series of dynamics that lead to a conflictive and destructive relationship.

Paranoia in social relationships: friends and family

Our social relationships are not limited to the couple, but we are constantly relating with a large number of people and some of them become part of our circle of friends. But in such relationships, paranoid thoughts can also be observed on occasion. For example, different acts or words can be interpreted as a display of displeasure towards the person, or some comments such as accusations or reproaches without this being the intention of the person who issues them.

These types of thoughts can generate withdrawal or hostility, uncertainty, and a cooling off or even a break. of the relationship with others, both on the part of the subject who has the thought and on the part of the others towards he.

Paranoid thinking in the workplace

Another area in which paranoid thoughts and behaviors can appear is at work. And it is that the labor market is an already competitive field (which actually facilitates paranoid ideation), in which, depending on the setting, it is often not that uncommon to think ill of the intentions of others. It is relatively easy to wonder if behind some behaviors there is not a search to find information to lower the position of the other and / or be above or improve the chances of obtaining a promotion or a position fixed.

Thus, paranoid thoughts can cause us to continually suspect the motivations for which others interact in certain ways or that there is a cooling of interpersonal relationships, which can generate labor conflicts, decreases in productivity and a bad work environment. company.

How to avoid them?

It is possible that we ourselves or a loved one manifest some type of paranoid thought at any given moment or context. Therefore, given the discomfort that these thoughts generate, it is worth asking What can we do in our day to day to avoid or combat them?. That is why we will review a series of tips below.

How are you?

It is common for paranoid thoughts to appear to a greater extent in situations of high tension or stress or in periods when we have an altered state of mind. It would be useful to assess what emotional state we have when that distrust of the other appears, as well as taking into account how said emotional state can affect us.

Practice Mindfulness

Many of the fears that cause paranoid thinking are due to the anticipation of negative consequences. The practice of meditation or Mindfulness can be helpful in the sense that it aims to focus awareness in the present moment and assess how we feel. It also helps to observe our thoughts from the outside, witnessing them and allowing us to feel them.

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Evaluate the evidence

"I think my partner cheats on me." "My boss wants to fire me." "My friend doesn't care." All these are thoughts that, depending on the context, can be considered paranoid. It is not that they are not possible, but it is worth asking what we base ourselves on to think so. It is necessary to value what makes us think in that way, assess its significance and whether it has possible alternative interpretationsbefore judging.

Communicate

The basis of human relationships is communication. When we are talking about close people such as a partner, family or friends, it would be appropriate to comment and communicate both the good and the bad, so that elements do not become entrenched that can later lead to misunderstandings It is not about expressing distrust or constantly asking if they have been unfaithful to us, for example, but to make the shared link allow expressing the existence of fears, doubts and thoughts.

Relaxation

The use of relaxation techniques can serve to relieve stress and reduce worries. In this sense, relaxation techniques focused on breathing and muscle contraction can be of great help, such as diaphragmatic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation of Jacobson.