How to avoid awkward silences when conversing: 4 tricks

The human being is an incredible animal for the simple fact of having the power to converse; thanks to speech we can both cooperate and persuade or even defend our perception of the world, or simply meet people and seduce. However, and despite the fact that the range of possibilities that the art of the word offers us is almost unlimited, there are situations in which none of that matters, because we get blocked trying to chat with someone.

Awkward silences are situations that many want to avoid but that, in an incomprehensible way, appear again and again in the daily lives of many people. However, by training in certain social skills, it is possible to master some simple Tricks to avoid those awkward silences. Let's see how to do it.

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Social skills to avoid awkward silences

You're talking to a person you've barely exchanged a few words with before, and everything is going perfectly: within the first minute, you realize that you have been able to easily overcome that phase of uncertainty in which you must decide how to start the conversation, and for the moment everything seems to be going on wheels. However, there comes a point where the subject you are talking about apparently no longer gives of itself, and that hateful awkward silence appears. What has gone wrong?

As we will see, there are different answers to the above question. To explain it, we will see several strategies that help prevent these small relational problems. Of course, in all of them it is assumed that the conversation has already been started. If you are also interested in knowing how to start talking to someone with whom there is not much trust, it is better that you go to this other article: "How to start a conversation with whoever you want, in 6 steps"

Without further ado, let's see what are the steps to follow to have fluid conversations and in which naturalness prevails.

1. Emphasize positive aspects of the other

It may seem strange, but flattery has a relationship with awkward silences or, rather, with the absence of awkward silences. And it is that many times these "dead points" of the conversation are due neither more nor less to the fact that either we or our interlocutors have adopted a defensive attitude, something that on the other hand is common when you don't know much about the person you are talking to. Faced with uncertainty, we unconsciously think that it is best not to expose vulnerabilities through what we say.

So that, Flattery is a simple and easy way to break down a lot of those defenses.. The consequence of this is that the person who receives these positive evaluations spoken aloud will open up more, explain themselves in a more extensive way, and at the same time make us feel more comfortable.

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2. Start conversations about something that interests the other

It's an easy way to avoid awkward silences. On the one hand, allows you to skip those phases of formal conversation made up of topics that do not have to be of interest (the weather, work in general, etc.), and on the other, it makes that our interlocutors feel comfortable talking about something that excites them and about which they have many ideas. For example, you can talk about hobbies, about news in a field of interesting news, etc. Thus, the answers are unlikely to be short.

3. Do not speak fearing the pauses

One of the key aspects of awkward silences is that, for them to come into existence, almost any pause in the conversation should be interpreted as a "failure" a symptom that the people involved in the dialogue are not connecting. However, this does not have to be the case; a pause can mean many other things.

For example, it is possible that to give emphasis to a statement, it is accompanied by a pause deliberately placed there, so that the forcefulness of the response is highlighted and, therefore, that we have a very clear opinion regarding what is being talking.

Many times, the awkward silence appears when this happens and we are not able to draw attention to the power expressive of this fact: we simply say a sentence and keep quiet because we cannot conceive of another answer possible. However, on certain topics where opinions different from ours might be expected, the simple fact of having created that silence is in itself another topic of conversation, since gives rise to explain why we are so sure of what we say.

In other cases, the awkward silence could be caused by the other person responding short and to the point. In these cases, we can turn the situation around so that the interpretation emerges that this is a sign that it is the interlocutor who is nervous and does not know how to continue speaking.

In these situations, it is good to adopt an affable attitude and redirect the conversation, implying that we are removing the responsibility of continuing to speak to the other person; a sign of good will: “well, if I have understood you correctly it seems that you do not agree with the proposed reforms…”. Of course, this should be done if there are really reasons to think that the silence is partly due to the nerves of the other, and not simply because they do not want to continue talking.

4. Get used to giving your opinion without fear

Anyone will be looking forward to ending a conversation if all we bring to the dialogue is one question after another. Interrogations are not to anyone's liking, and they are the most propitious context for awkward silences to appear. The solution to this is simple: avoid asking questions all the time.

In practice, if what you say is interesting or expresses an original point of view, the effect of these Contributions to the dialogue will be much like a question that is crying out to be answered. For example, if the other person talks about one of her hobbies and you talk about what you know about that activity by adding an opinion to it, the other person will feel called to take a position on that kind of opinion. affirmations.

In short, we must keep in mind that questions are not the only tool to get the other person to speak and, sometimes, they are just the opposite: something that leads our interlocutors to decide to stop speaking. talk.