Toxic children: 8 traits that drive parents crazy

It is common for many children and young people to be rebellious and feel little attachment to social norms and responsibilities. Many have an innate desire to explore the consequences of their actions on their own.

At an early age, many learn to fit into this society through "trial and error." This way of living life can be considered normal, and many of these rebellious children grow up to be successful adults. This is part of your development.

• Related article: “Emperor syndrome: bossy, aggressive and authoritarian children”

Troubled and difficult children

However, there are some situations in which these difficult children cause serious problems for their parents, with problematic behaviors that seriously damage the father-son relationship. They are the tyrannical and authoritarian children, also known as toxic children. Despite their young age, they act as if they were leaders of the home, demanding, demanding and acting like true dictators.

The violent attitudes of the children are often reflected in psychological attacks, insults and bad answers to the parents.

The family environment becomes a hostile context, with violent closing of doors, breaking of objects, constant fights, destructive actions, etc.

Toxic children: characteristics and consequences for parents

But… What characteristics do these minors present in their behavior? How does his violent attitude and tyranny affect his parents? In the following lines you can find the answers to these questions.

1. challenging attitudes

One of the big problems of toxic children is their defiant and provocative attitudes, which are characterized by aggressive behavior towards parents and a violation of family rules and boundaries.

They always cross that line that marks discipline, without any form of respect. His idea is to go against it, with hostile and angry reactions.

2. Bossy and authoritarian

But these types of children not only respond to parents with unpleasant attitudes, but are also bossy and demanding. They have an authoritarian personality, which makes them uncompromising.

They decide what and when they eat, which TV channel to watch and, in short, do what they want. If they don't achieve their goals, they yell, threaten, and physically and psychologically attack their parents, and they fly into a rage.

3. they are capricious

These minors are impulsive and their desires are usually the result of the whim of the moment. They have a low tolerance for frustration and their hostile reaction can kick in at any time.

Anything they fancy is a breeding ground for a new conflict. They still want to watch TV and after ten minutes play the console. They rarely do what their parents ask and they go about their business. They need to satisfy those whims on the spot or a fight is coming.

4. They show a lack of empathy

They are children and young people with zero social skills, and their maturational level of empathy is underdeveloped. The empathy it is the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes, and since they are incapable of doing this, they do not experience feelings such as love, guilt, forgiveness, or compassion.

5. they are manipulative

In addition to being egocentric and possess Low tolerance to frustration, toxic children are manipulative. They may behave like this in other environments, such as school, but their demands are less taken into account there.

On the other hand, it is in the context of the family that they really know the weaknesses of their parents, whom they constantly manipulate to achieve their goals.

6. The main victim mothers

Although toxic children show aggressive behavior and defiant and aggressive behaviors with both parents, it is more common with mothers. Parents tend to be less victims of these events because they tend to be more afraid of them. Despite not always being like that, toxic children are often male.

7. Many times the parents are the cause

Parents, as the main educational agents, are usually the main culprits in this situation. Although, in some cases, genetics can cause more conflicting personalities, education can favor that this negative behavior is minimized or, on the contrary, it is manifested.

Education begins from the moment children are born, and parents must learn to set limits and help them develop healthy personalities. A doting and conflicting parent can make a child toxic.

• Related article: “Toxic parents: 15 characteristics that children hate”

8. Recognizing the problem is essential to take action

When a parent is in this situation, it is necessary to recognize that something is wrong, because the consequences of this war between toxic parents and children can only cause harm and suffering. When someone is aware of this situation, then it is possible to seek help. In some cases, going to a psychologist is the solution.

How to deal with a toxic child

Dealing with toxic children is not easy, because the family situation can become so toxic that coexistence is impossible. Ideally, children should be educated from an early age so that they learn to be emotionally healthy and respectful adults.

If parents do not set limits or rules from the time their children are born, then it is very difficult to change their behavior at later ages.

• Related article “5 tips to nurture your child with emotional intelligence”

However, parents can always carry out a series of attitudes and strategies that minimize the impact of this toxic behavior and disobedient in pursuit of finding family peace. They are the following:

• Set clear rules and consistent limits: Rules are useful if they are well established, so they must be clear and consistent. Parents should not question them in front of children.
• Make time for communication: Any interpersonal relationship can improve with dialogue and appropriate communication. In this way, each of the parties exposes their emotions and needs and agreements are reached. It is good for parents to be clear and set examples for their children about how they behave and what are the consequences of their actions.
• Focus on the positive: A positive attitude towards the relationship can also help minimize the impact. Conflicts worsen when one party is defensive.
• avoid prizes: The rules should be met without the need to give prizes, which is considered an extrinsic motivation. That is why intrinsic motivation should be encouraged, that is, work on the values ​​of the children so that they understand how they should behave.
• Accept that there are things that cannot be changed: Many times adults treat children as adults, thinking that they have the same level of reasoning. Children are explorers and you have to understand that it is often their curiosity that makes them behave like this, that is, they do not act in bad faith.

If you want to delve into these tips and learn more. you can read our article: “Dealing with "difficult children" and disobedient: 7 practical tips”