Emotional Responsibility: what it is and how to apply it to relationships

We are social beings, from the moment we are born, someone interacts with us and that is when we start to forge the first bonds with the people around us that will increase over the years years. This is not surprising since our brains are programmed to function as members of a social group and Curiously, we are highly sensitive to the most subtle emotional changes that occur in the individuals we encounter. surround. In short, we can affirm that our behaviors emotionally affect the people around us and vice versa.

There are individuals who are aware of the effect of their words, actions or comments on the emotions of others and therefore On the contrary, others who simply say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking about how it might affect the neighbor. This last group of people take refuge behind the pretext that their life is theirs and they have the right to say what they want at any time. However, for today's article, we will focus on the first group of people, those who act in an affectively responsible way towards others, or rather, those with

emotional responsibility. Now, what does this term mean?

What is emotional responsibility?

Emotional responsibility or affective responsibility is based on take charge of our actions, words and emotions and their impact on others, as well as to have consideration towards the feelings of the other. In short, it is defined as mutual care and respect through communication and empathy that serves as a pillar to create a healthy intimate relationship. We want to clarify that this term is not synonymous with thinking of others but not of yourself. In fact, the moment a person adjusts their behavior to the needs of the rest, neglecting theirs, we stop talking about emotional responsibility.

In this regard, it is important to differentiate affective responsibility from too much empathy and emotional blackmail. Regarding the first, as we have mentioned, emotional responsibility requires empathy, but like everything else, a balance must be found. An excess of empathy leads to an exaggerated involvement with the other to such an extent that it prevents us from taking distance of the problems and can generate a big negative ball. For example, if a friend is fired from work and the person with exaggerated empathy is unable to think coldly and distance, you may try to overprotect him and this prevents the person from clarifying his own ideas and therefore feeling overwhelmed.

As for emotional blackmail, it should be clear that this occurs when we act according to ideals, values ​​or interests of the other person, depriving ours due to a feeling of guilt that has generated in us. It is as if you are eternally indebted to him and must comply with his wishes for fear of the harmful consequences of not giving in to them. Again, this has nothing to do with emotional responsibility.

You may have heard about ghosting on social media., since it is a term that is fashionable. As the English word “ghost” says; the term refers to disappearing like a ghost. That is, it is the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a person without warning or justification. It is usually used when you are just getting to know someone romantically and when everything seemed to be going well, suddenly one day, just like that, that person disappears. Although the term is new, the act of course is not. Emotional responsibility is considered the opposite of "ghosting" or rather, "ghosting" is a clear lack of affective responsibility.

• Related article: "The 6 types of social skills, and what they are for"

Benefits of emotional responsibility

Accepting the consequences that our words or actions have on others brings with it a series of benefits that are worth highlighting. At the level of interpersonal relationships, significant improvements are found due to the use of emotional responsibility. The quality of social relationships benefits from this ability., since a necessary support network is created. As we have well commented at the beginning, human beings need to feel part of a group and therefore, if emotional responsibility improves social networks, it seems clear that it in turn improves our quality of life.

On a personal level, affective responsibility has also proven to be beneficial. It has been found to help people feel better about themselves and not only that, but the more this skill is used, the more self-satisfaction grows. This positive loop makes us feel better about ourselves, increasing our security, well-being, happiness and of course, once again, quality of life.

Disadvantages of Emotional Responsibility

Affective responsibility shows disadvantages when it is used incorrectly or has been misunderstood. When we are forced to do those things that make the people around us feel good, leaving aside what we really like, is when the feelings of guilt appear and the main disadvantage of which we spoke. Therefore, acting using this ability does not imply at all to put aside our emotions, thoughts or behaviors.

• You may be interested in: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

How to promote and train emotional responsibility?

Reading this article, you may have realized that it is not easy to be emotionally responsible and you may even feel that you have not been so many times. Do not be alarmed. We have the great advantage that affective responsibility is not a personality trait, therefore, we can learn it and improve it over time. As if it were a muscle, it just needs training. Below you will find some tips to add this ability to our emotional intelligence:

• Use assertiveness when expressing your emotions towards other people.
• Identify where the emotions you experience come from in order to improve the way you are managing them.
• Communicate clearly and simply what you are feeling. Don't think that the other person is a fortune teller or can read your thoughts.
• Come to a mutual agreement by setting limits.
• Realize your mistakes, acknowledge them, and learn from them. Don't sink
• If you demand affective responsibility from other people towards you, start by being willing to give it. In short, have a concordance between what you want and what you give.

Put emotional responsibility into practice

Based on the advice of psychology experts, here are some Tips to be able to put into practice and make use of emotional responsibility:

• Before you act or speak, stop to think about how what you are going to do or say might affect the person in front of you.
• Stop thinking about how what others have done or said to you has affected your emotions and start taking responsibility for your own feelings. It's very easy to throw the balls out and blame others for making us feel a certain way. Change the look and focus on yourself.
• Put yourself in the place of the other. Empathize with the feelings of the people around you and if someone warns you that some Your comment or gesture has hurt him, put yourself in his place and really try to understand why and how you can change it. Going one step further, explain the reason for your attitude and, if necessary, ask for forgiveness.

In conclusion…

Affective responsibility is a term that is booming especially among young people on social networks. Although this is something positive since it indicates the inclination of many adolescents to offer and seek friendships and partners with this quality, the educational institutions should take affective responsibility with more consideration and implement it as a present value throughout the stage educational. It could be very positive to encourage this behavior more often and in more affective bonds than your At the same time, they avoid possible ailments and psychological discomfort derived from a bad management of responsibility towards the the rest.