My psychologist does not want to see me: 5 possible causes

Going to the psychologist is a process that, without a doubt, offers us many benefits. It allows us to learn a little more about ourselves, about what problems we may be experiencing in our lives and how to solve them.

In most cases, the therapist will listen carefully to our experiences, what we feel, what we believe could be the origin of our problems. He or she will try to give us a solution, accepting us as patients. Or not.

Sometimes it happens that the psychologist chooses to reject the patient. Patients who have experienced this think: "why doesn't my psychologist want to see me?". Today we are going to answer this question.

• Related article: "How should the relationship between psychologist and patient be?"

"My psychologist refuses to see me"

Strange as it may seem, a psychologist can reject a person who comes to his consultation. Not all therapists are going to treat everyone who wants their services. There may be a set of factors in which the therapist decides that it is best that he is not the one carry out psychotherapy, and in most cases they have to do with ethical aspects professional.

What we must understand is that every psychologist wants the best for the patient. The principle of beneficence is one of the ethical values ​​by which the professional practice of the psychologist is governed.. This is why, in the event that the therapist finds himself unable to satisfy him, far from applying a therapy that he does not know if he will be successful, he opts for referral. In these cases the phrase is common: "I'm sorry, I can't be your therapist. Here I give you a contact list of other professionals I trust and who can help you”.

Among the main aspects for which a psychologist refuses to give treatment to those who come to his consultation, or decides to end a therapy started, we have the risk of dual relationships forming, not being able to treat the patient's psychological problem or having some kind of possible conflict with the patient. Good psychologists are those who know when they can't care for their patients, and choose to refer them to other therapists they know they can.

• You may be interested in: "Psychologist Code of Ethics"

possible reasons

Next we will see the main 5 reasons why a psychologist can refer the patient to another professional, or simply reject him.

1. Not specialized in the patient's disorder or problem

Psychologists specialized in the clinical field need to be trained in Clinical Psychology to be able to do psychotherapy, at least in Spain. However, despite having received specific training to treat patients, they are not always prepared for all kinds of psychological problems.

There are cases in which the complexity of the patient's disorder prevents the professional from being able to adequately carry out his work. As we have commented, the psychologist will be governed by the principle of beneficence and, in case of seeing that it is not can comply, will choose to refer the patient to another more qualified professional for their specific case.

This is clearly visible in cases where the patient has a personality disorder, eating disorder, autism, any sexual dysfunction, or stress disorder post traumatic Is about disorders that require very specific and intensive training, which is difficult for a general clinical psychologist to possess.

• You may be interested in: "How to find a psychologist to attend therapy: 7 tips"

2. Has a previous relationship with the patient

Psychologists often hear in our close environment, such as with friends or family gatherings, phrases such as "Now that you're a psychologist, why don't you treat Fulanita? He needs help and since he is your cousin you can do it for him for free ”.

For starters, we're not going to work for free. We have not studied four years or more to do psychotherapy without receiving anything in return. And secondly, there is the main reason why we cannot intervene: it is unethical.

Treating a friend, a relative or a person with whom we have some kind of personal or economic relationship, beyond the psychologicalIt's not going to be a good idea. We are not going to be able to carry out therapy in the most neutral way possible, in addition to our feelings and the previous data that we have of the "patient" will prevent us from carrying out the process in an objective.

For example, let's imagine that we are doing therapy with our best friend. To begin with, we have a strong relationship with him, with which we are going to have a bias towards anything he has done, relativizing or considering it "less bad". It may also be the case that he confesses something we don't like, causing our relationship with him to change, negatively affecting both of us.

Since he is our friend, we run the risk that, far from giving the most appropriate treatment for him, we think about our relationship and only in that. This may mean that we intervene without respecting the principle of beneficence, and clearly we are not acting for the good of our friend.

It is for this reason that any patient who comes to the consultation must have known him at the moment, without any previous relationship of any kind beyond that of a former patient in case he is So.

3. He is seeing a relative, friend or person close to the patient

Unless the psychologist is specialized in couples therapy, family therapy or is a child psychologist, the ideal for any therapist is that he is not treating patients who are closely related to each other.

Let's try to explain this further. Let's imagine that we are treating a man named Menganito. Menganito comes because he feels betrayed by his friend Paquito, a person we don't know. He begins to tell us about how Paquito has hurt him, tells us what he thinks about him and, ultimately, confesses to us a lot of personal aspects of his relationship with this friend of his.

One day, Paquito comes to us, who also wants to receive psychotherapy. He has discovered us in another way, not because Menganito has recommended it to him. Now we are in the situation that we know things about Paquito without him telling us, but rather his friend Menganito. In turn, we can know things that Menganito has told us that Paquito should know if we want to wish him the best, but we would be revealing secrets.

In this specific case, the psychologist is facing a rather difficult situation. He has two patients who are very related to each other, and whatever he does can affect one positively and the other negatively. We may recommend that Menganito stay away from Paquito to this second, with which we would not be complying with the principle of beneficence. Also, we can tell Paquito things that Menganito has said that affect him, violating the principle of confidentiality.

4. Some characteristic of the patient prevents the therapist from working professionally

Psychologists are also human beings: they have feelings, thoughts and emotions. It may be the case that they cannot care for a patient in any way because they know a personality trait of him or an event from his past that comes into direct conflict with your system of values ​​and beliefs. This makes it impossible for you to practice psychotherapy with that patient in the most professional way possible.

For example, if the therapist is Jewish and receives a patient with a history of being part of neo-Nazi groups, As much as he no longer relates to this type of people, the psychologist is not going to feel comfortable working with this patient. It is clear that in consultation he will not be able to avoid having prejudices and feel fear in the presence of the patient. It could even be the case that, unconsciously, he applied a therapy that harmed the patient as "revenge".

5. He has previously worked with this patient and considers that there is no more to do

There are people who will need to see a psychologist all their lives, others will only need to go for a few years, and the luckiest will only require a few months. Each case is unique and may require more or less healing time, depending on your psychological problem and your ability to progress.

In the most positive cases, it happens that the patient has managed to overcome all the problems for which he has come to the consultation, making it no longer necessary to continue the therapy. It is clear that it would be better for the professional to continue the treatment, continuing to charge the patient, but it would be unethical to stretch the therapy more than necessary. For this reason, at the end, patient and psychologist say goodbye.

What can happen on many occasions is that the patient, despite having fixed everything he had to treat, needs his psychologist. It's like an addiction: he feels he has to watch it. The psychologist can see that the patient, when he returns for consultation, does not do so because he has new problems to deal with, but because he longs to go to therapy. As professionals, therapists must know how to see this situation and specify to the patient that he does not need more therapy, that everything that had to be solved is already solved.

Bibliographic references:

• American Psychological Association (1981). Ethical Principles of Psychologists. American Psychologist, 36(6), 633-638.
• American Psychological Association (1985). Rules and procedures. American Psychologist, 40(6), 685-694.
• Iron, a. (2000). About happy life. Malaga: Cistern.
• Hare-Mustin R.T. and Hall, J. AND. (1981). Procedures for responding to ethics complaints against psychologists. American Psychologist, 36(12), 1494-1505.
• Martin Serrano, M. (1977). Professionals in capitalist society. Madrid: Pablo del Rio.